The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not)
by sstarbuck
Summary: "Have no fear, Quinn Jones." Apparently, it is a truth universally acknowledged that I, Quinn Jones, a full-fledged Gryffindor, am actually afraid of three little words. What a load of nonsense.
1. Chapter 1

It was the night of my seventeenth birthday party. I was trying to fall asleep in the Potters' guest room, which is conveniently nicknamed Quinn's room since I was the one who mostly spent the nights there as opposed to any other guest, but I was too buzzed from drinking and dancing and thinking, so sleep eluded me.

One of the drawbacks of drinking, I guess. Though I don't remember ever hearing other people complain about sleepless nights after a night out. I'll have to ask around.

Deciding that sleep is just not in the cards tonight, I rolled out of bed, threw on my shorts and a loose T-shirt since I didn't want to walk around in my underwear, and gently opened the door of the bedroom.

Looking out into the hallway I could see that everyone's rooms were closed and I guessed they were probably asleep like normal people. Ignoring the obvious problem with going into another person's room at night uninvited, I tiptoed into the hallway and did my best stealthy Faceless Man impression until I got to the door of the room next to mine. I was honestly surprised I managed to do this without making a sound due to my buzzed state, but I guess luck was on my side tonight.

Carefully opening the door, I snuck in and was engulfed in almost complete darkness, the moon the only thing illuminating the room since the Potters' home was pretty isolated from the rest of Godric's Hollow.

"James?" I whispered. "You awake?"

I could hear faint grumbling from the direction of his bed. I stepped around the clothes on the floor, probably unceremoniously dumped before he crashed, and came over to where I could see him sprawled across the bed in a position any sane person would classify as impossible.

But James Sirius Potter always did do things the impossible way.

I sat down on the bed and poked him. My poke was awarded nothing more than an almost imperceptible grumble. It was time for drastic measures. I scooted over next to him and sat on his torso. That woke him up.

"Merlin's beard, Quinn, why are you bothering me in the middle of the night?" James looked at me through half closed eyes as he said this. He obviously forgot that we do something like this every year. Or he was still a bit drunk, which was probably closer to the truth. I was in no position to judge him. But I could blame grandad and Ethan for buying the booze for the party.

"Bothering you?" I looked at him as his eyes cleared and he realised that it was well after midnight and what that meant. He quickly sat up and engulfed me in a tight hug. I could smell the familiar minty smell of his shampoo on his still damp hair and the Firewhisky on his breath even though he brushed his teeth. The smell of alcohol is not something cured by toothpaste.

He drew back and smiled at me. We were so close that I could see the specks in his hazel eyes even in the low light. I returned his smile.

"Happy birthday, Quinn," he said in a low voice as he turned towards his end table and took out what I presumed to be my real birthday present. We usually got something jokey for each other to give out with the rest of our friends and family, but the real presents came after.

James gave me a fairly thin, neatly wrapped present and excitedly looked at me while I tore at the black wrapping paper.

The wrapping paper revealed a cardboard box. You could count on James to wrap his presents the right way, no messy cuts or badly taped Spellotape and definitely no presents outside of a box if they didn't come in their own. I, on the other hand, was a lost cause.

As I opened the box, a cloud obscured the moon and suddenly, we were in complete darkness. I could feel the familiar shape of a vinyl record sleeve but on top of it was something else I couldn't recognise by touch.

The cloud passed and moonlight streamed in, allowing me to actually see the presents. As soon as I saw the vinyl I nearly squealed but managed to stop myself before I woke anyone up.

"You found it! I can't believe you managed to get me the first LP Sons of Tyr ever recorded," I exclaimed, "they're incredibly rare."

James just grinned at me "It helps when your dad knows Mundungus Fletcher."

I looked at him with a horrified expression, "Tell me this didn't fall off the back of a broom!"

"Nah, he just conveniently knows a lot of people selling a lot of rare stuff, including records. He managed to get me a discount on account of you being easy on the eyes," he laughed at what I was sure was a disgusted look on my face.

Taking the other present in my hand and seeing it for what it was - a black picture frame decorated with little silver Beater's bats and Bludgers and the two of us, aged eleven, flying together in my parents' backyard during Christmas holidays. I could remember grandad taking the photograph right before my brother Ethan threw a snowball at his head. I was pretty sure this was the first photograph of the two of us together. James probably had to collude with my grandfather for this present.

"Do you like it?" James asked after I didn't say anything for a while, just looking at the moving photograph. I looked up at him and grinned.

"It's perfect, James. Thank you!"

He smirked, wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and said, "You know, I did like the other presents you got earlier."

I got up and put the vinyl and the photograph on his desk before lying down next to him.

"Oh really? Which one did you like the most?" I asked, turning on my side so I could look at him while we talked.

"My favourite was the one Ash got you," he blushed while he said this which was unusual since James almost never blushed unless his mum said something really embarrassing, like how he used to have a toy rabbit he slept with at home until he was twelve. He named the rabbit Fluffy and his dad found that hilarious for some reason.

"You mean the red slutty dress I would probably wear once a year?" I mused. My usual choice of attire was black jeans and a black T-shirt. I like the colour black. I would make a great woman of the Night's Watch if they accepted women and I lived in the A Song of Ice and Fire universe. Ashley Thompson, one of my dorm mates at Hogwarts, liked to give me presents that I would probably never buy for myself. I'm pretty sure all the dresses I own came from her one way or another.

He nodded, "Yeah, that's the one."

I lightly punched him, "You're just teasing me."

"Maybe. But I bet Al loved it. I think his jaw actually dropped," he said this in a lower voice.

At the mention of Al's name, I remembered what I was thinking about that possibly had a hand in making this night sleepless. I turned again so I was on my back staring at James' ceiling which was charmed to show the night sky.

"I broke up with Al tonight," I said with a sigh. Albus was my boyfriend for a total of two months which was certainly a record for me.

James snickered at that and asked, "Did you break my little brother's heart? I did tell him you probably will."

I thought about his question and felt the tiniest stab of guilt. Maybe I let it go on for too long before I broke it off.

"Of course I didn't! Al knows me and he was fine with, you know...me...," I trailed off.

"Merlin, did he break yours? I'll kill him if he did!" James' face was one of bewilderment and confusion as he looked at me with wide eyes.

"You know he couldn't," I replied with an eye roll. I was surprised he'd even think that.

"Why not?" He propped himself up on his elbows so he was looking down at me as he asked the question.

"Because I don't have a heart, James," I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Nice comeback, Quinn. So...why did you leave him? When did this even happen because I don't remember you missing any part of your party?"

I made a face. "What's with the third degree? It's not like you don't already know."

He plopped down on the bed again. I could see he was having a hard time between being my friend and being worried about his brother, however hard he tried to hide it. Al might be cool as the Giant Squid but James loved his siblings and he didn't like it when something was wrong with them.

I squeezed his hand in the hopes it would make him feel better. He squeezed back.

"We snuck out for a little while when you were doing your Gandalf impression," I said and winked at him, "but, unfortunately for Al, he and I had quite different things in mind when we snuck out."

"It wouldn't have been fair to stay with him. It was fun but he decided he wanted to talk about us and his feelings for me so I cut him off. This thing with him was just ... me passing time. Feelings didn't really have anything to do with it and you know it."

As I said this, James turned on his side, gave me an intense look and hugged me to him. We lay like that for a while in silence. I could hear the steady rhythm of his heart beating and it was soothing. The tiny pangs of guilt I felt about Al disappeared.

After what seemed like an eternity I could hear him as he whispered in my hair, "I know everything about you."

"Yeah. You do."

* * *

I woke up in James' bed the next day. The sunlight was streaming in through the window and I had to blink a few times to get adjusted to the light. James was still asleep with his arm around me. Waking up in his bed was not unfamiliar but remembering that just the night before I broke up with his brother made me realise it wouldn't look good if one of his family members happened upon us right now no matter how many times we had sleepovers before.

So I did what any sensible girl would do. I forcefully woke up James by alternatively poking him, whisper-yelling at him and tickling him until something of the three yielded results.

He had a grin on his face when he woke up.

"Happy birthday, Quinn."

"Yeah, yeah, you said that already. Now get up and Apparate me home!" I'll have to take the Apparition test soon now that I turned seventeen. James passed his a few weeks ago.

"Bloody woman, why are you so bossy?"

I frowned at him.

"I like things being done a certain way. Stop talking and turning around in a confused state so we can get going. I'd prefer it if you could bring me to my room but I guess the vicinity of my house would be good enough," I got up as I said this with a small smile and took both the vinyl and the photograph.

He made a pouty face and put a hand over his heart, "Are you suggesting I wouldn't be able to Apparate accurately? You deserve to be splinched!"

"You wouldn't splinch me! You like me too much," I smirked at him.

"Naah, I think I should after that insult. Maybe just a small splinch to teach you a lesson...how about your pinkie? Or your ear? Hm...," he touched my ear like he was seriously considering this and then he started tickling me. I was seriously ticklish and I just prayed to Merlin he'd stop soon or I'd start shrieking and probably cause the whole house to wake up.

Finally, he stopped but he had me pinned on the floor. He looked at me intensely like he was trying to figure out a particularly hard Arithmancy assignment but he soon changed his expression to a teasing one.

"Say I'm the best at Apparition!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. He knew I was defeated.

"You're the best at Apparition, James. Can we get on with it now?"

As I said that everything went black and I felt the pressure all around me. Soon it was over and we were on my bed in the same position as before, with me pinned down under James.

I wiggled under him, "Get off, you hippogriff, I'm trying to breathe here!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," he smirked, again.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. But seriously, I need to -," I was cut off by a huge ball of grey fluff jumping on top of James causing him to literally stop my breathing with his body as he collapsed on top of me from shock.

"Argh," was the only sound I could make.

James rolled off me and fell on the floor with the ball of grey fluff, namely, my cat Ziggy, staring at him viciously and hissing. I guess Ethan and grandad forgot to feed him. And by feed him I mean refill his bowl when it was half full (Ziggy would probably call it half empty because he's a pessimist like that).

Looking at Ziggy with a slightly horrified expression, James turned to me and said, "Quinn, I said this already and I'll say it again, but your cat is psychotic!"

I tentatively extended my hand towards Ziggy so I could try and pet him but he jumped off my bed in a huff and threw me a scornful look as he stood next to his half-full bowl.

Such theatrics.

"He's not psychotic, he just doesn't like anyone. Or anything. Well, he sometimes likes me but I'm sure that's just because he sees me as a constant food source. And he liked you that one time when he allowed you to pet him!" I felt the need to defend Ziggy even though he was a little bit, well, evil. Sometimes. I adopted him from a Muggle shelter nearby three years ago when he was just a tiny kitten. Even as a kitten he wasn't particularly friendly and his first adopted family brought him back to the shelter because of it.

James got up and gave him a few cat treats I had on my desk. Ziggy purred at that. I could swear he smiled. But cats don't smile. They do love bribes, apparently, because Ziggy allowed James to pet him for a second before prancing over to my window and jumping on the sill to look at the birds flying around a nearby oak tree.

"You're coming over later, right?" I asked, "Everyone is going to be there for lunch, even mum and dad, but they're leaving tonight because they both have practice tomorrow morning. We could do a movie marathon."

James sat down next to me on the bed and bumped my shoulder, "Of course I'm coming over. What kind of a birthday evening would it be without me?"

I smiled gratefully at him and hugged him, "Great!"

He stood up and said, "See you soon, Quinn," before Disapparating with a quiet pop.

Looking around my room, I realised I seriously needed to tidy up because the only remotely neat things in here were my Quidditch kit and my record collection. My school trunk was still sitting relatively unpacked even though I was going back to Hogwarts in two weeks and my clothes were in two different piles, the clean one near my closet and the dirty one on the floor next to my bed. I wasn't usually this messy, and grandad surely wouldn't tolerate it under normal circumstances, but I've been spending almost all my time at the Potters' house during the last few days so he turned a blind eye. He had a soft spot for me. Feeling lucky I could finally use magic outside of school I decided to try my hand at some of those household spells I've seen grandad using after I've had breakfast.

After changing into something I dug out of the clean clothes pile and filling Ziggy's bowl, I tied my dark hair into a messy bun and went downstairs. I could hear my grandad in the kitchen, hopefully making breakfast, and talking with somebody.

"Good morning," I said as I entered the kitchen. Immediately I could see my dad's face in the kitchen fireplace. Grandad turned around and they both exclaimed, in weirdly similar voices, "Quinn, love!"

Grandad came over and engulfed me in one of his bear hugs, "Happy birthday, my favourite granddaughter!"

"I'm your only granddaughter!"

I could hear dad alternating between yelling birthday wishes and singing the birthday song in a horribly off-tune voice. He could be really silly sometimes. Or all the time. He liked to say he got hit one too many times in the head with a Bludger but that wasn't even close to the truth.

"Dad, please stop, I just woke up," I said with a yawn.

He just snickered, "Don't lie, dad told me James just brought you home so you've been awake for at least half an hour."

I threw my grandad a look and muttered, "How in the seven hells did you even hear us, James' Apparating is freakishly quiet?"

Grinning, he just said, "Magic." He turned around and continued frying the omelette he was making when I interrupted.

"Quinn, I've got to go because practice starts soon and the Captain can't be late. I love you and I'll see you at lunch," dad said with a sad expression, which in turn made my grin disappear. I was hoping to at least exchange more than two sentences with him. I couldn't blame him really. Being a Captain of the Ballycastle Bats and also a Chaser on the English National Quidditch Team meant he had very little time for family. But he was living the life I hoped I would someday so I was quick to forgive and forget.

"Love you, dad," I said as I gave him my best smile and waved at him. His head disappeared from the fireplace. My grandad was muttering something to himself, but since I didn't have his unnatural hearing, I couldn't decipher what he was saying. He looked a bit angry.

I sat on the barstool at our kitchen island while I waited for him to finish breakfast.

"Did mum Floo while I was in my room?"

He turned around and put a plate full of food in front of me, "No, but you know she's as busy as Dylan is."

I rolled my eyes at that, "Oh yeah, she's so fucking busy she can't even Floo to wish me a happy birthday."

Grandad frowned and said, "That's the life of a professional Quidditch player. Your parents love you and they try their best...," he trailed off, "But I have no bloody idea what would've become of you and Ethan if I wasn't here."

"Right. We would've probably dropped dead."

"I was thinking more in the line of both of you becoming completely wild and untameable. It's not like you're much better even with me here."

I made a face. Grandad was one of those people that can't help being blunt. As I munched on my food, I realised Ethan wasn't here.

"Where's Ethan, anyway?" I asked.

Grandad shrugged his shoulders, "I expect he's at his flat."

"But he's never at his flat...unless he has a girl there!" I was grinning at this. I loved to tease Ethan's girls because he usually had a type. I don't know how, but he always managed to end up with one who didn't believe in one night stands (even though she just had a one night stand with him) and quickly became more and more crazy as the morning after dragged on. Though I wondered who the hell would go off with my brother out of the Weasley girls (I knew it wasn't Lily Potter since she was way too young). I couldn't remember seeing him with anyone in particular last night, but then again, some parts of the party were a little hazy.

"I know what you're thinking, Quinn, and I have no idea who the girl is. I always mix up all those Weasleys anyway," grandad said this with a huge smirk on his face. Even though he never looked at another woman after my grandma died, he fully supported Ethan in his conquests. He also supported me in mine. I guess he was pretty supportive.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I knew it would be pointless to ask for my presents right now because it was tradition to do a family birthday lunch and then get presents. The fact that birthdays are one of the rare days we're all in the same place at the same time makes them extra special.

"Your dad is going to cook and your mum is baking the cake and I'll finally have some well-deserved respite from all the cooking around here," he said this as he sipped his black coffee. Grandad woke up crazy early every day and by the time I got up he'd already spent half a day doing his thing. But he liked to keep me company while I ate. I think he was pretty lonely while I was at Hogwarts and that's why he didn't mind the fact that my twenty-four-year-old brother spent most of his time here instead of at his own flat.

Grandad looked at me teasingly, "So, what did your boyfriend get you? I don't want to know if it's anything that has to do with shagging."

I almost choked on the last piece of my omelette.

"You're fine talking to me about shagging but don't want to know the details. Got it, thanks grandad, that wasn't embarrassing at all."

He just laughed at me. Wonderful.

"Sometimes I think I'd be better off if you or Ethan were even a little embarrassed about your escapades but then I remember I'm the cool grandad and the thought quickly disappears. So, what did Al get you?"

"You're our only grandad!" I exclaimed.

I never met my mother's parents. They were Muggles and she talked about them a lot. Said they were free spirits which I understood to be a bit weird and unconventional and made me feel sorry I never met them. They died a pretty conventional death, though. They were going to a Black Sabbath concert on their bikes and a driver who fell asleep at the wheel crashed into them. Sad story.

"Al got me concert tickets to see Sons of Tyr in February and he's not my boyfriend anymore," I said, not meeting his eyes. He liked Al. Grandad, Ethan and Al had that Slytherin brotherhood going for them.

I'm not sure why I didn't meet his eyes because grandad is always on my side. He just shrugged his shoulders, "Another one bites the dust, eh? Ethan owes me 20 Galleons!"

"You bet on my relationship?" I was more amused than surprised.

"Can you even call it a relationship if it lasts for just a few weeks?"

"Few weeks! It lasted for two months. Give or take."

He laughed at me again. I love it when people laugh at me. Not. Maybe being a stand-up comedian should be my backup if I fail at professional Quidditch. But I'm honestly not that funny.

"It lasted exactly six weeks, I should know since I bet on it."

I stood up and washed my plate for the first time using magic. I could get used to this. We never had house elves or nannies or anything like that because grandad was a firm believer in doing things on your own so you don't become spoiled and incompetent. I'm not convinced he succeeded in not spoiling me but eh, at least I could wash my own plate.

Spending my birthday cleaning my room wasn't ideal but I really couldn't stand the mess any longer. I put the Sons of Tyr LP James got me on my turntable and started. By the time I was finished, I managed to find two T-shirts I thought lost forever and one of Ziggy's favourite toys. After taking a shower I heard two distinct pops. I ran out of my room and down the stairs until I finally saw my parents after I don't know how many weeks of only communicating by owl or through the fireplace.

"Quinn! Happy birthday, honey!" My mum hugged me and I forgot about my annoyance with her from this morning. I missed her. I missed my dad.

"Hey mum, dad," I mumbled because I couldn't talk like a normal person since my dad decided that a group hug was in order so I was pretty much getting crushed between the two of them. Dad towered above both me and my mum and she was pretty strong for her slight Seeker build.

They finally released me and I grinned at them.

"Nice of you two to show up," I said with a wink. They started talking over one another trying to explain their busy lives and I had to stop them before they started arguing because that's how these things usually end.

"Stop, stop! I was just kidding, Merlin's pants!" As I said this grandad came into the living room.

"Son, Ivy, good to see you."

Mum turned towards him and hugged him. I don't know why but she likes to give out hugs.

"Ian! How are you? Did everything go alright yesterday? Is...," and off she went with the questions about everything. I tuned out. Dad was already in the kitchen starting with the meal and mum soon joined him. I kept them company. We chattered about my party and Ethan and even Al, though apparently, they thought I was kidding back when I told them in a letter we were together. I have no idea why.

Sometime while they were cooking, we heard a loud crack and Ethan entered the kitchen. Mum immediately attacked him with questions about his job, his (lack of a) girlfriend (at this I sniggered) and so on. I gave him a sympathetic look.

After the lunch was over it was time for my presents at last. Dad gave me a small silver box.

"This is from your mother and me," he said. I opened it and found a watch inside. It was black instead of gold, with silver Roman numerals and stars instead of dials. It would've been quite traditional (except for the material) had it not been for the engraving on the back - Fuck Fear, which was something of a Jones family motto, and yet, only dad and I were Gryffindors, and grandma Olivia, too, but she was killed by a dragon so I'm not sure fearlessness was to her benefit.

Dad was just about to say something else when mum cut him off, "You better like it, Quinn. I swear we bickered for the past month until we settled on the design we thought you'd like. So even if you don't like it, pretend that you do and wear it for our benefit, and I don't care how ridiculous that sounds," she drew a breath and continued, "You like it, right?" she said this with a slightly psycho-looking smile.

Ethan was trying not to laugh, grandad was smoking his pipe and pretending not to listen to her, or maybe he wasn't pretending, he liked to tune her out sometimes, and dad looked exasperated.

"Yeah, I like it, thanks!" I nodded my head up and down as I tried to be as enthusiastic as possible because mum was still psycho-smiling. I did like it but she was a crazy perfectionist who couldn't stand the thought of something being, well, not perfect. If it wasn't then she'd go off on a tangent and yeah...We learned to live with it.

Ethan took out a pair of blood red Quidditch gloves from his bag and shoved them at me.

"Here you go, little demon. They're dragon hide gloves, Vipertooth model, tailored for Beaters so they'll give you a little extra kick when you swing the bat -"

He was interrupted by a wolf Patronus that appeared in our dining room. It spoke in a voice I haven't heard before but it was obviously familiar to Ethan.

"Jones, we need you at HQ right now, bring your heavy-duty kit," as soon as the wolf said this, it disappeared.

Ethan got up from the table and gave me a small smile, "Duty calls, little demon, but I hope you'll make good use of my present. I'll see you all later." He turned on the spot and Disapparated with a crack.

Mum looked slightly worried but she quickly masked her expression. She was too proud to admit she worried constantly about all of us, especially Ethan since he worked as a Hit Wizard, but we all knew it. That's why grandad kept most of my Quidditch injuries a secret from her. She'd go mad with worry and she'd feel guilty for not being there. Dad was slightly more reasonable, or he was just very good at keeping up the appearance of being cool all the time.

"He's going to be alright, Ivy," dad said this as he covered mum's hand with his own and she nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I know...Merlin, is that the time? I have to be back in Appleby for the afternoon practice," she rolled her eyes at that. "Bloody Orlov is convinced I'm giving out team secrets to Dylan. I fucking hate that guy, why the fuck did they make him Captain instead of me? I'm the fucking better strategist, that's fucking obvious..."

Luckily, grandad decided to interrupt her before she could go on another rant about Ivan Orlov, one of the best Keepers in the League and my mum's Captain.

"I'll clear the table," he said as he waved his wand around and all the dirty dishes followed him out of the dining room.

Dad was suddenly very interested in the gloves Ethan got me and I pretended I was interested in my new watch.

"Okay, I'll stop talking about Orlov, I get the message. You lot aren't exactly subtle," she glared at us as she said this. "I still do need to go. Quinn, I love you and I'll see you before you go back to school," she narrowed her eyes as she turned to dad, "and you, I'll see you tonight." I couldn't decipher if that was a booty call or if she was angry at him about something. It was probably both.

"Ahem, hm, yeah, right, okay," dad was red in the face. For a star Quidditch player who dealt with journalists all the time, he was painfully unable to hide his feelings. It made his interviews funny to read because he'd often get angry and start hexing the journalist who did the interview. More often than not, the journalist in question was Rita Skeeter. She held a huge grudge against him after he turned her into a toad one time.

"I'm going, too, sorry Quinn but you know, I've got that fundraiser later. We'll see each other soon, yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Grandad came back from the kitchen and looked around, "They're gone, then?"

I nodded. He frowned.

"You still haven't seen the present I got you, come on, it's in my study," he put an arm around my shoulders and guided me to his study room. It was bright with diffuse light that came in through the big glass double door facing the north side of my parents' property and overlooking the Quidditch pitch grandad put up shortly after five-year-old me zoomed past him on a toy broom while he was gardening. We lived in a small wooded area near Bath and grandad put a lot of Muggle repelling charms around the property so they wouldn't stumble upon us, especially with the Quidditch pitch being obviously out of place.

He opened his closet, took out a broom and gave it to me. I nearly jumped from joy when I saw it but I managed to keep my cool and just hugged him tightly.

"The Stormwind! It's not even in the stores yet!" The broom was black, made from world-class ebony with numerous protective and aerodynamic spells woven into it. It was going to be the fastest broom on the market, faster by five seconds than the newest model Thunderbolt. But it wasn't the speed that was its prime characteristic, it was the incredible balance it provided. The Stormwind was the only broom in the world that adapted to its rider and the spell that made it so was the best-kept secret in the Quidditch world. Rumour had it that Selene Zhang, the Stormwind designer, didn't even reveal the secret to her board of directors.

"Selene is a close friend," grandad said it like it was no big deal.

"I didn't even know you knew her. How do you know her?" I asked.

"How did you not know that her mother was one of my best players in the Tornados?" He was genuinely surprised.

"Jessica? I don't know, I don't keep tabs on players after they retire. But anyway, thanks grandad, you know it's like, the best present ever, right up there with James'."

"Yeah, well, don't just count on your fancy new broom to win the Quidditch cup," he said gruffly, "you still need to practice your Backbeat!"

I grinned at him and teasingly said, "My Backbeat is going to be better than yours!"

"I expect nothing less."

* * *

I was alone at home when James came over in the evening. Grandad went out with his friends down to the pub and Ethan was still MIA. We were now lounging in the living room contemplating which movie marathon we were going to have. Both James and I were big fans of Muggle movies.

James was sitting on the fluffy white carpet and playing with my hair that fell down the sofa since I was lying down. Ziggy was sleeping on the armchair.

"So, Lord of the Rings or The Godfather?" he asked.

"Don't make me choose, you know I'm indecisive as hell."

"The Godfather, then. We haven't watched that in a while. Pancakes or popcorn?"

"James, you're trying to make me choose something again!"

"Both?" he chuckled.

"James Potter, you are brilliant!" I beamed at him and got up from the sofa. He followed me to the kitchen. James was terrible at cooking so I waved my wand and the ingredients for the pancake batter started to stir in a bowl. I sat up on the kitchen island he was leaning against.

"How was lunch with your family?" he asked me. I showed him the presents my family got me as soon as he Apparated. He was just as excited as I was by the fact that I now had the Stormwind. He even said he'll ask his parents to buy him one when it hit the market even though they just recently bought him the new Firebolt. Lily can have the Firebolt, apparently.

"Eh, okay, but I think my mum made a booty call to my dad in front of me."

James raised his brows, "Lucky Dylan!"

"Ew, what? That's my mum!" I made a disgusted face at him but he just wiggled his eyebrows.

"Says the girl who shagged my little brother for the past two months."

That shut me up. I took out the pancake pan and turned on the stove. When the pan heated up, I started frying the pancakes in silence. James came over from behind me and hugged me around the waist.

"I was just kidding, Quinn, don't be angry at me," he said in a low voice. I turned my head so I could look him in the eyes and smiled at him. That seemed to reassure him.

"I'm not angry, I'm just plotting my revenge!" He grinned at that and kissed my cheek.

"Okay."

In the middle of the third movie, Ethan Apparated in the living room which made me scream since I wasn't expecting it and, more importantly, because he was covered in blood. I rushed over to him, James following with a troubled look. Ethan just waved us away.

"Not my blood," his breath smelled of Firewhisky and his words sounded slightly slurred, "let me just get another Firewhisky before I crash."

James threw me a look and I just shrugged my shoulders. He went over to the fridge and brought the bottle of Firewhisky with three glasses. James and I settled on the sofa and Ethan on the armchair with Ziggy who promptly woke up, hissed at Ethan, jumped off and left to another corner of the room.

We drank in silence, neither I nor James knowing what to say. Ethan wasn't volunteering any information and there was no point in trying to pry it from him. If he didn't want to talk, he wouldn't talk.

After another three glasses, Ethan got up and went to his old room.

James put his hand around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder. I think I fell asleep in that position because I woke up in my bed in the middle of the night and James was lying next to me with his arm laid protectively around me.

It felt reassuring to have him here.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days after my birthday, James and Fred came over for a training session with my grandad. The three of us were the only remnants of the once glorious Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Which is not to say that it won't be glorious again if James had any say in it. He just had to practically rebuild the whole team with new people.

My parents were away training, both of them had matches coming up. Mum was still fighting with Orlov since he apparently gave an interview for Witch Weekly claiming he had some 'concerns about certain members of his team' when asked about relationships between players from opposing teams and how that affects the play. According to mum, the journalist was obviously fed the question before the interview by Orlov's manager.

Dad once again managed to hex Rita Skeeter. He banned her from doing one on one interviews with him but yesterday the whole team was being interviewed together and she implied dad was having an elaborate affair, a whole other family somewhere in Norway he supported and kept secret. Apparently, the Healers at St Mungo's still haven't been able to put her nose and face to the way they used to look. Dad claimed temporary insanity due to being hit in the head by a Bludger during practice right before the interview. It was his favourite excuse. He was lucky he had a horde of fans. It was kind of cool that he had an arch nemesis, even if the nemesis in question was just an unscrupulous journalist.

Grandad was in his study finishing up a chapter of this secret book he was writing. He wouldn't tell any of us what it's about but his book club apparently supported him. They met once a week in Mrs Jameson's cottage nearby. She was the go-to person if you wanted to hear the latest gossip. Useful lady.

It was a dry and sunny day, perfect for Quidditch. There was no point in wearing robes so we all started out in shorts and T-shirts but as it got hotter, the boys took off their shirts. If they were hoping that would distract me, they were wrong. Honestly, the male body is not that special. Though they were nice to look at. But, I've already seen them numerous times, either during practice or when we went swimming so I kept myself in check and kept my eyes on the Bludgers.

James and Fred were currently practising Quaffle passes while doing their best to dodge the Bludgers I sent their way. It was hard to keep up with two Bludgers without another Beater so I got hit a couple of times already, but the Stormwind flew like it read my mind and I managed to stay on my broom every time I was hit.

There was a Bludger coming from below so I did a one handed Sloth Grip Roll and sent the Bludger Fred's way. It was a little trick grandad taught me last summer. Fred's eyes were only on the Quaffle instead of following what was going on around him so it hit him in the back.

"Fuck, Quinn, what the hell? Are you trying to murder me?" Fred yelled at me while James was desperately trying to dodge both Bludgers at once because it seemed they both decided to attack only him. I flew over and hit the one that almost got him in the head. Fred was stretching out on his broom to ease his back pain which proved to be a very misguided idea because I almost knocked him out cold instead of the Bludger that was aiming for his torso.

"Merlin's saggy balls! You boys better start dodging those Bludgers so I don't have to constantly save the two of you!" As I said this, the Bludgers stopped mid-air. I turned around and saw that grandad was standing in the middle of the Pitch with his wand out and his pipe in his other hand. He was wearing his sunglasses so I couldn't read his expression.

"Freddie, if it were me in the air and not Quinn, you'd be lying in a hospital bed right about now. And you, James, you need to stop throwing the Quaffle high all the time, you're fucking predictable. Quinn, start fucking hitting that Bludger like you mean it!" grandad was yelling this as he paced around. I noticed Ziggy on the roof. He looked like he just ate a bird or something.

Oh, yeah, there it is. He coughed and a white feather flew out of his mouth. How nice.

Suddenly, a Bludger was flying towards me and I had to block it with my left arm instead of my bat because it came way too fast. Ouch. I was going to be covered in bruises after this practice ended.

Grandad was yelling again with his wand out pointed at the Bludger that hit me, "When I'm fucking talking you don't fucking zone out!"

Fred and James were laughing at me. I threw them a dirty look and twirled my bat in what I hoped was a menacing way. Merlin, grandad sure liked to yell when he was in his coach persona. He was still doing it.

"All three of you – warm up laps around the Pitch! I don't want to see you stop until you've done twenty. I'll be watching from over there," as he said this he pointed to an old oak tree off to the side. It was the same oak tree James and I used to climb when we were younger and pretended to go on adventures. We even built a small treehouse with grandad's help. It was still there but I couldn't remember the last time we were up in it.

We all came down and left our brooms leaning against the white walls of my house. I took my water bottle and drank almost half the bottle in one go. It was getting too hot for my liking.

The boys already started on their laps without me so I had to run a little faster to catch up. As I ran up to them, Fred turned to squint at me, his dark auburn hair falling into his eyes. He smirked at me.

"How are the knickers I got you?" James started laughing at his question but soon stopped because it was hard to laugh and run at the same time. At least in grandad-approved pace.

I stuck out my tongue at Fred, "I think I'll wear them for every match this year! They really show Gryffindor pride!" The knickers he was talking about were his birthday present for me.

To tease them a little bit I sped up my pace and drew my shorts a little lower, showing the scarlet and gold knickers with the words 'Daring Gryffindor' proudly displayed. Turning around to see their faces, I heard grandad yelling, "Stop fooling around!"

I slowed down to catch my breath so the boys were running alongside me again. James was strangely silent, his face red from the sun and the running, but Fred was still joking around. I don't get how he had the energy with all the running.

"Nice bum!" he snickered, "I can see why Al has been moping around being all depressed and shit –"

"I'll hit you with a Bludger when we're finished with laps," I growled at him, "and I'll tell Ethan you hero-worship him!"

James finally found his voice, "Yeah, let's not talk about my brother. I've had enough of that from Lily," he said with a pained expression as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at us with a devious smirk, "Besides, the two of you really need to work on your stamina!" and he sped off, Fred rushing after him, leaving me to be the last one in what was now a race. Unacceptable.

I cursed both of them under my breath as I struggled to catch up. Then I cursed their long legs and contemplated which spell would be the best to make them shorter. As I came within throwing distance from Fred, I jumped on his back and tackled him. We went down but not before he managed to catch James' ankle and dragged him down with us.

Our laps officially over, we were lying in an out-of-breath heap on the floor, limbs tangled. I couldn't move since almost all of my extremities were under some parts of James and Fred.

"You really are trying to murder us, right?" James asked between breathing in huge gulps of air. I couldn't stop myself from laughing and then Fred started laughing and soon all three of us were laughing and nobody noticed my grandad until he loomed over us, blocking the sun.

"What, in the name of fucking Merlin, were you thinking, you bloody crazy child?" I didn't even have to look at him to know his face was contorted in a weird grimace between angry and amused.

I started to answer, "I –," another laugh erupted from me before I could finish. James and Fred were still guffawing. "I couldn't let them fucking win, could I?" I hollered.

Now grandad was in stitches.

"Up, you fools, and get on your brooms!" and he was back to yelling. Good old grandad. Scratch that, good old coach Jones.

When all of us were in the air, grandad gave us various flying exercises to work on, the toughest being able to fly upside down while either catching and passing a Quaffle or hitting a Bludger. After the flying exercises, he charmed different obstacles for Fred and James to go through and score while I had to practice precision shots with a moving target, the target being my grandad. He was bloody hard to hit, it was like he was under a dodging charm or something. When I've hit the Bludger so many times that I couldn't hold the bat anymore, he insisted I do it all over again but with my left arm. This time I didn't manage to hit him at all and with every failed hit I got angrier and more frustrated. Stupid left arm.

"That's it, I'm done!" I let out a scream of frustration as I flew to the ground, jumped off my broom and threw my bat, nearly hitting a squirrel running between two trees. James flew down next to me still holding the Quaffle and Fred was hovering above us. Grandad calmly got off his broom but I could see he was mad.

"You're done? You are not fucking done! How do you expect to get on a fucking team when you give up at the first obstacle?" he was fuming, "You're willing to tackle bloody Freddie over there because you couldn't let the two of them win in what wasn't even a competition, but you whine about this? Not fucking happening!"

I was so angry I could've hexed him if I had my wand with me. I didn't care that he was probably right. Before I could grab my bat from the ground, James put his hand on my shoulder.

"You're being stupid," he said and I felt a little bit of my anger dissipate. I was being stupid and I was mostly angry at myself.

Grandad took off his sunglasses and I could see he was frowning. "Right. Now really listen to me, all of you," as he said this he looked up at Fred and motioned for him to come down.

He continued, "The scouts don't care about who you are. They don't care about your family. What they do care about are fucking skill and teamwork. And those two things are the only fucking important things in Quidditch. And whining won't make you more skilled," he looked pointedly at me. Seriously, I whine one time and now I'm the poster girl for whining.

"So. Quinn, you're going to fucking lift weights and box and practice your left arm until you can hit me in the head with a Bludger with your eyes closed using that arm. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen soon. But I know you can do it and don't you dare fucking tell me again you can't do something."

I nodded. He didn't look convinced. I waved my hands in defeat, "Okay, okay, fine! Stop looking at me like that!"

Grandad just rolled his eyes and put his sunglasses back on. "James, you need to perfect your rolls," he said gruffly, "but I'm impressed by the quality of your passes if I disregard the predictability. What's your scoring percentage?"

James looked very pleased with himself with a huge grin on his face. Getting a compliment, even one masked with criticism, from my grandad was almost unheard of. "Ninety per cent, Mr Jones, but I'm trying to make it ninety-five." Unlike my parents, grandad never told my friends to call him by his name.

I could see Fred was getting bored. His interest wasn't in playing professionally. No, fearless Fred, which sounds like what could be his superhero name, had his eyes set on an Auror position. But that didn't stop him from being on the Gryffindor team and if that meant summer practices with my demanding grandfather, then Fred was going to practice.

"Are we done?" I asked, squinting up at my grandad, shielding my eyes with my hand. After flying and running around for almost the whole day I felt like I could eat three Hippogriffs.

Grandad looked us over with an amused look and said, "You're done for today, yes."

* * *

We were storing the Quidditch equipment in my parents' shed and I could feel the sweat trickling down my back. "I can't wait to jump in the shower, I'm completely soaked from practice!"

"Really? We didn't notice," James said as he gestured at the T-shirt clinging to my body uncomfortably, sharing a significant look with Fred who was grinning wildly.

"You should get soaked more often," James continued, "it might be the only way for Fred to actually see some womanly attributes." Fred threw the previously discarded dirty T-shirt he picked up from the floor at James' head.

"Hey, I've seen plenty!" he exclaimed with an offended face.

We started walking back to the house. James said teasingly, "Plenty? Mate, you haven't been with anyone since we found your crazy ex-girlfriend in a broom closet with that Ravenclaw guy, what was his name?"

Fred grudgingly replied, "Mark, fucking Mark Colton. And Julia wasn't crazy."

I whipped my head around to look at him as I opened the door of my house. "What? But that was more than a year ago! You need to get laid," we stepped in and I poured myself a glass of water, "Julia was batshit crazy, though, she wore a sweater with your face stitched on it, who in the seven hells does that?"

"I had a sweater with her face…" Fred trailed off, making James grimace and shake his head.

"But you never actually wore it! She got it for you. Of all the girls in Hogwarts…" I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to Floo Romano's and order pizza and then I'm finally getting clean. You guys can use any of the other bathrooms."

After a hot shower, we were hanging out in the living room, waiting for the pizza guy to Floo. I was actually sprawled over the sofa, my legs on James' lap, while Fred was lounging on the armchair.

"Merlin, everything fucking hurts! Why do I even play Quidditch? I don't think there's a part of my body that hasn't been hit today," I groaned as I moved my left arm. That Bludger really got it.

James looked at my arm with a worried expression, "Your arm okay? You got hit pretty bad, let me see." He inspected my arm with tips of his wand. When he tipped a particularly sore spot I yelped and withdrew my arm. He raised an eyebrow. "Obviously not okay. I'll fix it," he waved his wand and muttered some spells and I felt a little less achy.

"Thanks," I said with a grateful smile, "it's a good thing you took that emergency Healing course." His mum made him take it when he got the Captain spot so he could deal with possible small injuries during practice. Fred was endlessly teasing him about being a Mummy's boy but he didn't mind when James actually healed him a couple of times. Hypocrite.

"You got any beer, Quinn?" Fred asked.

I nodded and motioned to the kitchen, "It's in the fridge. Bring me one, too."

"James?"

"I'll have some."

At that moment my fireplace lit up with green flames and a lanky boy, who I vaguely recognised as a fourth year Slytherin appeared with the pizza I ordered earlier. I got up, paid for the pizza and set the two boxes on the coffee table.

"Bye," the boy awkwardly waved and yelled, "Romano's!" disappearing into the green flames.

Fred yelled from the kitchen, "Quinn!"

"Yeah?"

"You've only got Guinness!"

"So what? It's the only beer my grandad drinks. Bring it over!"

He came back with three bottles, "Thank Merlin the food is here, I was just about to start eating my own hand!" he exclaimed. "Didn't your grandad ever hear of lunch?"

"He heard about it, he just chose to ignore it," I said as I took a swig from the bottle. For grandad, Quidditch trumped food. James was already eating a slice and Fred looked like he was about to eat three slices in one go.

We devoured the pizza quickly and sat around, drinking beer. We each already drank two bottles and were now just sipping on the third ones.

I nudged James with my foot and he looked at me, "What?"

"You better find me a good enough Beater, Captain," I stretched out, "today was officially the Bludger-torture day."

"You're telling us! We nearly died from your hits," Fred exclaimed. He was very dramatic at times.

James had a thoughtful look and was running his fingers through his hair, "We do need a whole new team. Lily mentioned something about trying out for Seeker but I have no idea who would fill out the other positions."

I frowned at that. We needed to win the Cup again this year. It was our last chance to get picked up by the scouts.

"There must be people who play well. Fred, why doesn't your little sister try out?" I asked. Roxanne was possibly the best Quidditch player after James and Fred in the Weasley family, at least judging from what I've seen during the few summer games we all played. That girl saved almost everything that was thrown at her.

He snorted, "Roxy? She's a bloody idiot who doesn't want to participate in something that promotes a rivalry between the Houses. I don't know where she gets these ideas but I'm suspecting Aunt Audrey. She's always going off about how the House system in Hogwarts needs to be dismantled."

James groaned in frustration, "Don't remind me. But Lily also said Scorpius mentioned a girl in Gryffindor who's a good Chaser. I think her name was Wendy something. He's family friends with her but I have no idea who she is."

"Doesn't sound familiar," I shrugged, "let's hope she comes to tryouts." I turned my head towards Fred and smirked at him, "So, Fred, you conveniently ignored my comment about you needing to get laid."

"So, Quinn, how about you butt out of my romantic life?"

"Who the hell mentioned romance?" I took a sip of my beer.

Fred stared me down with narrowed eyes and said, "I did."

I made a face at him, "But come on, really –,"

James interrupted before I could badger Fred more, "How about we meet up in Diagon Alley a day or two before school starts and we can buy school things and go out later? And find Fred his 'romance'," he quipped with a grin. Fred just shot him a dark look.

"Great idea! I'll owl Dom and Ash later, they better be up for it," I said.

Fred's eyes went wide, "Ashley? You're asking her to come?"

I looked at him with a perplexed look, "Uhm, yeah? That a problem?"

He violently shook his head, "No problem, none at all."

James looked as confused by this as I was. I guess Fred was just weird sometimes. As far as I was aware, he was friendly with Ash. They played some kind of a drinking game together which involved drinking whenever someone said something in some movie they both liked at my birthday party and got pretty smashed.

"Where's Ethan?" Fred asked looking around like he expected Ethan to jump out behind the sofa.

"I think it's hilarious you're probably more interested in hanging out with my brother instead of getting laid. What kind of a teenage boy are you anyway?"

He laughed at that and drank the rest of his beer, "I'm a perfectly normal teenage boy, thank you very much. But Hit Wizards are so cool! I wonder if he'd show me some of the offensive spells they teach them during training?"

"He'd probably be open to using one of them on you if you asked him nicely," James said jokingly and had to dodge a Guinness bottle cap Fred threw at him for his troubles. "Did you find out what happened the other night?" he asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, trying to act cool but remembering Ethan covered in blood and the reason why was not cool, "Yeah, he nearly killed a guy in a knife fight. Well, a duel but someone disarmed him so he had to use a knife as a last resort."

Fred looked like he wouldn't mind a knife fight. He probably wouldn't if it meant he'd put away a dark wizard or two.

"I didn't know they used anything other than magic!"

"They have combat training in case they can't use wands. Their knives are goblin-made and imbued with magic that allows them to penetrate most shield charms," I responded, "At least that's what Ethan told me when I asked him about it."

"Wicked!"

James was absentmindedly tracing patterns on my leg. "What's up with you today? You've been strangely quiet," I said to him.

"What? Oh, nothing."

"Not nothing, tell me," I sat up and scooted over next to him. Fred had a worried look on his face and I wondered what the hell they weren't telling me.

I poked James in the shoulder a couple of times, "Tell me, tell me!"

"Can we bring Al with us?" he asked, "He really has been moping around."

"Bring him where?" I was confused. Why were they even asking?

"To Diagon Alley?"

"Why wouldn't you bring him?"

They both groaned at that. James rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. Fred said, "He has this crazy idea he can win you back. The fact that Scorpius is cheering him on doesn't help."

I howled with laughter and nearly fell over from the sofa. "I'd like to see him try so yeah, bring him along, I don't care."

They shared an amused look between them. I could imagine Fred was going to tease Al mercilessly the next time he saw him.

It was already dark outside by the time we finished a game of Exploding Snap.

"I'm bored," Fred complained while James was shuffling the cards. "Let's do something fun!"

"We could go down to the pub?" I suggested as I got up from the sofa and waved my wand to clean out the mess of empty bottles and pizza boxes.

Fred grinned at me, "Yes! We haven't gone out in a while."

"Let me just grab some jeans and we can go," I said and went up to my room. As I rummaged through my closet looking for some clean jeans I heard a crack and voices from downstairs. Finally finding the jeans, I quickly changed into them and went to my bathroom to make sure I looked at least like I wasn't an undead member of the Others' army. Happy that wasn't the case, I went back downstairs where I found James and Fred, but mostly Fred, trying to talk Ethan into coming down to the pub with us. Luckily, this time he at least wasn't covered in blood.

"Hey!"

"Hey little demon," Ethan greeted me with the peculiar pet name he always called me. He said it was because when I was little I was screaming all the time just because I could so he took to calling me a little demon.

I was tying my shoelaces as I looked up at him, "You coming, then?"

James grinned at him, "C'mon mate, we haven't hung out properly since forever!" Fred was just nodding along happily. I guessed he didn't want to appear too excited. Not sure he succeeded since Ethan was looking at him with a slightly weirded out expression.

"I was supposed to go for a pint with a mate from my squad. That okay with you?"

I shrugged, Ethan's friends were usually cool, "Yep, let's go!"

We walked for about ten minutes chattering about this and that until we came to the Flying Thestral, the local wizarding pub. It was surrounded by long abandoned, dilapidated Muggle buildings. To Muggles, the pub appeared as just another old building and the wizards and witches as homeless people.

There was quite a crowd. Ethan walked in the front and greeted someone standing by the door. We walked up to them and I got a good look at what I could only describe as the absolutely hot epitome of badassery. Ethan's friend was in a long black leather cloak with dark blond hair falling into his eyes. He casually flipped his head to remove the bangs and I could see a scar running down from his ear, over his cheek and ending close to his mouth. The scar just added to his overall appeal. He was as tall as Ethan and just as muscular, though I guess that was in his job description.

Ethan turned around and started the introductions. "Everyone, this is Logan Anderson. Logan, this is James Potter," James nodded at him but Logan's eyes found mine, "and Fred –," Ethan was cut off before he could introduce Fred. Logan moved closer, still looking me in the eyes.

"And who is this?" he stared at me and I enjoyed the attention. I could see Ethan already regretting his decision to come with us.

"That, mate, is my baby sister," he said as he put a firm hand on Logan's shoulder and turned him around to enter the pub. Which didn't stop Logan from turning his head and winking at me with a sly smile. I grinned at him. Fred was next to me muttering something to himself about Hit Wizards and knives and James followed behind me.

As we entered the pub I realised why the crowd was there. A Quidditch match between the Montrose Magpies and Puddlemere United was being displayed in the centre of the pub in the form of a miniature Pitch. The players were just coming out of the locker rooms and the pub erupted in cheers from both sides. James put an arm around my shoulders so I'd have an easier time going through the throng of people to the bar table Ethan found us. Each table had an even smaller Pitch so you could watch the match without having to cram your head trying to see what was going on between all the people.

"First round's on me!" Logan yelled over the cheering and went off in the direction of the bar. The rest of us were a little squished together in the crowded space so James' arm was kind of trapped around my shoulders. I didn't mind because it meant that whenever somebody passed behind us it was mostly James that took the brunt of the impact.

"I forgot there's a game today," he said watching the players lift off the ground. Ethan was busy checking out a witch who was just passing. He wasn't that interested in Quidditch. He never even played for the Slytherin team while he was in school. Fred was trying to get him to show him one of his knives.

Logan came back with his wand out levitating the drinks in front of him. As he stood himself next to me he waved his wand and the drinks settled on the table. James scooted a bit to the side so I could have a little more room. The Magpies scored and there was a collective 'boo' from most of the pub. It seemed Puddlemere had the larger number of fans tonight.

"Who are we rooting for then?" Logan asked as he drank his beer, "I'm a Catapults fan so I'm not really invested."

I snorted at that and he looked at me sideways with a raised eyebrow, "Not a fan? What's wrong with the Catapults?"

Shaking my head I said, "Nothing's wrong with them but you really love the underdog, don't you? They've been having really bad luck these past few seasons. Though Rhys Reynolds is one of the best Beaters in the world right now."

"You play?" Logan asked as he lit a cigarette with a Zippo lighter. I could see an elaborate tattoo which started on his hand and disappeared under his sleeve but I couldn't decipher the design.

"Quinn is a Beater on our House team," James responded instead of me. He was already almost finished with his pint. I was halfway through mine.

Logan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and said in a low voice, "There's something incredibly hot about a woman wielding a Beater's bat."

As Logan said that, James downed his drink and yelled, "Another round?" Everyone nodded their heads and he went off. Puddlemere scored two times in a row and I couldn't hear anything above the cheering noise for a while. James came back with both beers and Firewhisky shots. He put his arm around my waist so he could come up behind me to his place at the table.

Ethan was finally paying attention to the match, "You think Khan will retire soon? He's almost fifty!" he asked as Riz Khan scored another goal for Puddlemere. He was one of dad's biggest rivals.

Fred looked thoughtful, "I heard mum say he's probably going at the end of the season. Something about his ligaments." Looking at miniature Khan play, you would think he's in his prime. His passes were impeccable and he had a real knack for reading the opposing Keeper.

"Dad will be devastated when that happens," Ethan sighed, downing the Firewhisky shot and eyeing the crowd.

"Really? I thought he'd be happy," Logan said with a bemused look.

Ethan shook his head, "No, he thrives on competition. I don't know what he'd do without some kind of a rival."

"Isn't your parents' match coming up?" James asked. Ethan and I both groaned and rolled our eyes at the same time as he said this.

"Merlin, don't remind us," I said as I finished my beer and put the glass on the table, "dad's been talking about re-enacting their first match since they're actually playing on the twenty-fifth anniversary, if for nothing else then to give Rita Skeeter something else to write about instead of his supposed mistress."

Fred looked interested, "Re-enacting? Why?"

Ethan laughed at that, "You don't know the story? Our parents met during the first match they played against each other," he sipped on his beer, "Dad crashed into mum in order to stop her from catching the Snitch. She still caught it so she snogged him in front of the whole crowd as a victory celebration."

James was tapping his fingers on my waist in tune to the Puddlemere anthem that the pub was playing. We were all a little bit drunk at this point. I could see a pretty witch from the next table throwing him looks but he was more interested in the game.

"And the rest is, as they say, history," I finished Ethan's story. He was now openly flirting with the girl he was eyeing before, the rest of us forgotten.

Logan leaned closer so I could smell his cologne, and asked in a husky voice, "Do you snog opposing players after a match, Quinn?" he took a drag from his cigarette and flicked the ashes away as he continued, "Or people in general?"

Before I could answer, James, who was actually following the game, yelled, "Fuck!" along with almost everyone else in the pub. I turned to look at the miniature Pitch which was replaying what happened just seconds before. Three things happened at almost the exact same time, the Magpies' Beater hit a Bludger towards Riz Khan who dodged it and scored, but one of the Puddlemere Beaters was hit in the head instead just as the Magpies' Seeker crashed into him and caught the Snitch, both of them plummeting to the ground, the Beater breaking the Seeker's fall. There was an audible crunch.

"Is he alive?" Fred asked the question everyone was thinking. Mediwizards hurried onto the field and obscured the view of the injured players. After a couple of minutes filled with uncertainty, the mediwizards gave the thumbs up and levitated the injured players off the field. The faint voice of the commentator could be heard saying that they were both alive but needed immediate transfer to St Mungo's.

The pub owner yelled over the crowd, "Next round is on the house! Let's celebrate the fact that no one died!" He turned up the music and with the match over people started dancing. Fred went over to the bar to get us the free drinks.

Ethan came back looking dejected. We downed the dark green Serpentgin shots Fred brought over.

"No luck tonight?" I asked my brother.

"She just wanted me to introduce her to James, you interested, mate?"

James looked over at the girl in question and frowned, "I'll pass."

Ethan shrugged and said, "Your loss."

I don't think anyone else heard James mutter something that sounded like, "Not really." I must have heard him wrong because of the loud music.

Logan moved even closer than he was before, flipped his head over to the part of the pub where people were dancing and said, "Let's dance."

With a huge yawn, James looked at everyone and said, "I'm so tired. Are you guys tired? You must be after that gruelling practice. Ethan, you look like a vampire!"

Ethan's eyebrows shot up but he just smirked. Fred was quick to jump on the tired bandwagon. I couldn't deny my whole body felt like I was run over by a Hippogriff. I just realised I was mostly standing up because James was partially holding me up.

"Sorry Logan, we'll have to do this some other time when I'm not falling off my feet," I tried my best to throw him what I considered my seductive smirk. I think it worked because he winked at me.

"Looking forward to it, Quinn."

We partially walked and partially stumbled back to the house. I realised that James still had his arm around my waist but if he didn't I was pretty sure I would've just sat down next to the road and waited for someone to either carry me back home or kidnap me.

When the house came into view I could see that there was a light on in Grandad's study. The curtains weren't shut and there was he was hunched over his typewriter.

Ethan opened the doors and we all crashed in the living room. Fred was lying down on the fluffy carpet. Ziggy came strutting in. He looked at us judgingly.

Grandad came in from his study. "You lot up for a drink? No? Lightweights!"

I had no capacity to answer him. I was busy thinking about tonight. Something was bothering me.

"James?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you go off with that extremely hot girl earlier?"

"I don't know, Quinn."


	3. Chapter 3

It seemed that waking up in the middle of the night, or not even falling asleep, has turned into the new normal for me. I was lying down in my bed, staring at the moon through a crack in the drapes and listening to the first Sons of Tyr record I ever bought, Season of Bitterness. It fit my current mood. Which was dark. I couldn't pinpoint what my problem was but even trying to decipher my own feelings made me frustrated. Especially since I didn't quite know what in the seven hells was bothering me.

My thoughts wandered off to grandad. Today was the anniversary of grandma Olivia's death. Even years after her death, he still spent days like these holed up in his study with a bottle of aged Firewhisky and his pipe. Not even dad, who suffered just as much, has ever managed to lure him out. After a couple of years, he stopped trying. I have no clue what he does every year, I just know he's never home. There is no grave to be visited, no flowers to be left anywhere. Her grave is literally in the wind. Just as she wanted it.

I wasn't sure if James remembered what day it was, and knew I needed a distraction, or whether it was just coincidence that he wanted to get together with the rest of our friends (and his family) in Diagon Alley today of all days. But I was certainly glad when yesterday I heard my name coming from the two-way mirror James gave me when we were fourteen and he found it hidden in his father's study. We were supposed to meet at the Leaky Cauldron around noon. Realising I haven't sent a letter to Ash asking her to come with us, I got up from the bed, turned off the music, picked up a bit of parchment and a quill and went to the kitchen where grandad's barn owl Odin was munching on some treats he presumably left for him before going to bed.

Besides Odin, I also found Ziggy unsuccessfully trying to steal the owl treats. Odin would try pecking him every time he came near. Ziggy will doubtlessly be plotting his revenge during the next few days. The two of them had some kind of frenemy thing going for them. For two very solitary and sometimes difficult creatures, you could occasionally find them, for lack of a better expression, hanging out. If you call Ziggy lounging and Odin sleeping with his head under his wing next to him hanging out.

Scrawling a few sentences together, I tried giving the letter to Odin. He looked at it like he was outraged by the idea I would interrupt him in his munching with such a lowly task as delivering a letter.

"Come on, Odin, I'll give Ziggy all your treats if you don't take the letter," I whispered to him as I stroked his head. Now he stared at me with an outraged look and hooted, letting me know in no uncertain terms he wouldn't negotiate with terrorists. Why does my family only have pets with an anarchistic streak?

I rummaged through the kitchen cupboards searching for the special treats he wasn't supposed to eat more than once daily. We used them to bribe him into doing what he was supposed to do. I found them stashed behind a stack of fancy looking plates we never used. As soon as I opened the box, Odin shifted a bit closer to me and nibbled my ear. At that moment, Ziggy finally snatched one of Odin's treats and ran away with his bounty. Odin made a disgruntled sound, but was soon placated by the Eeylops Premium Owl Treats. He ate them all up with lightning speed, gave me another hoot, took the letter from my hands and flew off into the night through an open window.

After a few minutes of looking out the kitchen window, I went back upstairs, opened the door to my room and nearly had a heart attack.

"Hey," James said with a massive grin. He was sitting in the brown leather bean bag chair next to the window, his face illuminated by the early dawn.

"It's the middle of the night!"

He had a confused expression on his face, "It's not, actually, but so what?"

I closed the door behind me as I came in the room and leaned on the windowsill. "So, you're lucky I didn't have my wand on me. Or my bat. What, in the name of Merlin, are you doing here? Did someone die?" I really hoped someone didn't die. I hated the idea of funerals. They sounded dreadfully sad and boring and I didn't want to take part in that.

He casually put his hands behind his head and leaned back, "Nobody died. Would you have really hexed me?"

"I would've both hexed you and beat you with a bat. Why are you here?" I started pacing around the room until I eventually settled on the bed, my head in my hands as I stared at James.

"You sounded off yesterday. I wanted to cheer you up!" James said and got up from the chair. He sat down next to me, "Besides, I didn't come empty-handed." He took out a bottle from his backpack and handed it over for inspection. It was a ten-year-old bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky.

I frowned and said, "I don't need cheering up." I wouldn't admit I did need a distraction if not cheering up.

James put an arm around my shoulders and with his other hand tenderly turned my chin to face him. The sun was slowly rising, causing the whole moment to feel surreal, both of us bathed in faint sunlight. We were too close, his hazel eyes too understanding, his breathing even while I felt my heart hammering in my chest and being unable to breathe in. I had to stand up and get away so I could catch my breath.

What the fuck just happened?

He was messing up his hair. I looked out the window just so I didn't have to look at him. And possibly stop breathing again. I didn't want to die. Obviously.

"Listen, Quinn," he started, "your family is fucked up," I looked at him sharply as he said this, but he continued, "and they pretty much abandon you the one day in the year you're supposed to deal with a grandfather who doesn't even want to leave his room. So, you don't get to mope around on your own this year. I'm not letting you." He peered at me and made a funny face, trying to make me laugh. It didn't succeed, but at least I wasn't frowning anymore.

I leaned out the window, breathing in the fresh air. I could feel James standing behind me, he had that specifically James scent, a mix of mint and something else I couldn't define but I've grown familiar to over the years. It was a strange feeling, wanting to be alone and, at the same time, being glad he was here.

"Have I ever told you that grandad, during one of his rare reflective moments, said I remind him of grandma?" I asked.

"No. Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't think it's good or bad. But I sometimes wish it were true," I sighed and turned around. "Are you ever going to open that bottle?" I nodded towards the Firewhisky I left on my bed before I got up.

James grinned and took the bottle, opening it. He stopped before drinking and looked at me with an amused look. "You think we drink too much? It's not even ten in the morning yet."

I shrugged my shoulders, "We can say it's not even morning so we're fine, everyone drinks at night. Besides, we're still on holidays so it doesn't count."

He offered me the bottle and I took it. Sitting down next to him I swallowed a bit of the Firewhisky and it seared my throat. A feeling I was used to. We drank in companionable silence.

The sun was up by the time one of us said anything.

"Quinn?" James said in a low voice, nudging my shoulder.

"Yeah?"

He seemed like he was contemplating if he should continue, but I was curious, so I said, "What is it?"

"Why did you say that before," he quickly added, "about your grandmother, I mean?"

I thought about what I should say. Or even if I should say anything. I decided on the truth because it was James and he didn't judge me.

"Because I'm nothing like her," I rolled my eyes and continued, "she had a huge heart and felt everything. Too much at times. I don't think I feel enough."

James was silent for a while. I didn't want to look at him and see the truth behind my words on his face.

"I think you're wrong," he muttered.

I grinned at him, the warm and fuzzy feeling caused by the Firewhisky making me feel better.

"You have to say that because you're my best friend," I hugged him and he gave me an intense smile, hugging me back.

* * *

Someone should've probably told James that Apparating while buzzed wasn't the greatest idea. Right now we were both lying on two benches in the Leaky Cauldron, surrounded by Fred, Lily, Al and Ash. They were yelling around us, but while James was laughing his ass off, I was trying to stop my head from spinning too much.

"Look at them! They're wasted!"

"Naah, they're just –"

"Fred, you can't really defend them!"

"What? Why not?"

"Are they crazy?"

"Well, Quinn –"

"It was a rhetorical question!"

"I think we should –"

"Shut up, Al! It's all your fault, anyway!"

"How is it my –"

"If you weren't so slow in getting ready because you had this crazy idea of winning one of these idiots back we could've borrowed grandad's car and got them!"

"Scorpius said I needed to –"

"Enough!" Ash was probably staring them all down. She was a master at that sort of thing. My eyes were still closed, but I could guess.

"Quinn?" I cracked one eye open and saw Ash's face, framed by her signature, almost untameable, curls, hovering above me with a deep frown.

I tried to sound normal, "Yeah?" James got into another laughing fit at my tone. I could even hear Al snickering, but he stopped as soon as I caught his eye and turned an embarrassing shade of red. Lily was throwing me dirty looks like it was all my fault when really, it was James who brought the Firewhisky. And we honestly weren't wasted. I ignored her.

Ash was still frowning at me. "You okay?" she asked.

"Fantastic! Never felt better!" I sat up since I wasn't feeling like I was in a vortex anymore. Looking around me, I could see that the Leaky Cauldron hasn't changed at all since the last time I was here.

"You got my letter then?" I asked Ash as I dusted myself off.

"You mean the few scribbles that woke me up in the middle of the night? I did. Why can't you be a normal person who sends letters at a normal time?"

"You're lucky I wasn't too lazy to send even that," I made a face at her, "or you wouldn't have the wonderful opportunity to hang out with us today."

"Oh, the horror!" She was grinning, "By the way, Odin refused to leave until I petted him for almost ten minutes and gave him chocolate." That did sound like something Odin would do.

Al thrust his hand towards me and gave me one of his smirks, "Let me help you get up." He was still hot and his green eyes were still the same fuck-me eyes I was used to seeing on him. So I took his hand and let him help me. He turned the same shade of red as before. Shame about his feelings or we could've been having a lot of fun right about now.

"Mate, I think you can let go of her hand," James said, putting an arm around his brother and awkwardly patting him on the back.

"Right, sorry, um…," he trailed off, but then he looked me in the eyes with a wistful expression, "Can we talk? In private?"

Fred shook his head at that and Lily looked ready to hex me. James opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "I don't think that's a good idea, Al."

Al looked ready to try another tactic, possibly one that involved snogging, he had that look about him, but Lily jumped in, "Are we going to stand here all day while Al brings awkward to a whole new level, or are we actually going to Diagon Alley?"

James gave her a small smile. She squinted her eyes at him and said, "You're an idiot." She turned towards Ash and took her hand, "Let's go!" Little Potter was bossy. Ash gave me an apologetic look, but went off with Lily, Fred and Al following close behind them. James fell into step with me.

"Where's Dom? Don't tell me she blew us off!" I exclaimed, "Did anyone even ask her? I mean, I just assumed her actual family would –"

Ash interrupted before I could continue, "She's meeting us for dinner later."

"Dinner?" I asked, "But what about lunch? Are we having lunch?"

Lily whipped her head around, her long auburn hair hitting Ash in the face, as the brick wall formed the archway in front of her, "Some of us already had lunch while we waited two hours for some people to grace us with their presence."

I rolled my eyes at the back of her head, Fred saw me and sniggered. Al was avoiding having to look at me.

"I think," I said in a conspiratorial tone to James, "that we, good sir, are on your sister's hate list right now."

James laughed at that and threw a hand around my shoulders, "Only because we didn't share!" he said with a wink.

In the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley, with James and the rest of our friends and a tiny bit of liquid happiness, I almost managed to forget my mournful grandad, drinking his sadness away. And the fact that my family was extremely good at avoidance. I refocused my attention back to what Fred was saying.

"We can go to Flourish and Blotts first? Professor Thomas wrote the new DADA textbook! I bet it's loads better than the old one…" I was more interested in Transfiguration than DADA but Dean Thomas was one of the most favourite teachers at Hogwarts. He used to tell us about how he went into the Battle of Hogwarts without a wand, succeeded in tackling a Death Eater, punched him in the face so hard he knocked him out and won his wand the Muggle way. He was big on the practical side of things.

"But, Fred, Quidditch! It's more important than school books!" James whined and even made Al laugh.

Ash rolled her eyes and said in a mocking tone, "Is there anything more important than Quidditch?"

James pretended to think hard before answering, "I could think of one or two things," he had a sly smile on his face.

"Please don't tell me you're talking about sex!" Lily said in a horrified voice, "I don't want to hear about your sex life."

"How can you not hear about his sex life, little Potter?" I teased, "I think all of Gryffindor Tower hears about it on a regular basis. James, maybe you should stop hooking up with screamers."

"If I stop hooking up with screamers, which I'm not inclined to do, you have to stop hooking up, period."

"What kind of a stupid deal is that? You still get to shag but I don't?" I asked, glad to see Lily getting redder and redder. I don't know what her deal was, it's not like she hasn't had boyfriends. And they talked. And James and Al heard them. And I was the one who pretty much stopped Al from literally killing her last boyfriend. James was much more relaxed because he was certain Lily could take care of herself. Of course, he spent a lot of time teaching her useful curses she didn't yet get to in class.

James squeezed my shoulder, "Well, from what Al tells me, you can get pretty loud, too. So that's the deal," he smirked at Al above my head.

"Maybe I should start talking about Al's manly parts…" I mused.

"Wha—He's lying, I never!" Al sputtered and glared at James.

"Can you all please stop talking about your sex lives so we can go buy books?" Fred asked, waving his hands around looking like an old lady while doing it. Ash had a smile playing on her lips when she saw him, but she stopped herself from laughing at him.

"But I want to go to Quality Quidditch Supplies first!" James was stubborn as a mule when he set his mind to something. In this case, Quidditch supplies.

"We'll split up then, okay? So everyone can go wherever," you could count on Ash to be the problem solver. Lily was nodding her head at that.

"I have to go meet Scorpius anyway," she said and Al looked at her suspiciously while Ash perked up at the mention of her cousin.

"Scorpius? Why?"

"No reason," she answered him, but to the rest of us, she gave a meaningful look towards Al. I interpreted it that she was meeting Scorpius to talk about an intervention for Al. But who knows what she wanted to say, I'm not a Legilimens. Everyone else was also nodding along.

"I'll go to Flourish and Blotts with you, Fred. I need new quills, too," Ash said, her and Fred waving goodbye to the rest of us. Lily went off in the direction of Pluto's Planetarium before Al could interrogate her more.

"Al, you coming with us?" James asked him. Al looked awkward which was an unusual look for someone who was usually so cocky.

"Er, I don't –"

"Of course he's coming with us, we won't leave him all alone," I said before Al could get even more embarrassed. I didn't want our friendship to be completely ruined. He smiled at my words. "This doesn't mean we're getting back together. Just so we're clear."

Al nodded, "Okay. But we'll see about that," he said with a smirk. James didn't say anything, though his face had a weird expression. We started walking towards Quality Quidditch Supplies, the guys on each side of me.

"Where are we meeting Dom?" James asked.

"The Sleeping Dragon Inn," Al said. I tried remembering if I ever heard of it before but drew a blank.

"Never heard of it." I looked at James to see if he had any idea but he just shrugged his shoulders.

Al opened the door to Quality Quidditch Supplies and said, "It's near Gringotts, though I've never been, I've heard about it."

We browsed through the busy shop. A crowd was forming near one of the windows where a small stage was set up. I noticed a poster Spellotaped near the cashier's desk and saw that today they were getting the first shipment of the Stormwind with Riz Khan as a special guest. I hoped we would be gone by the time the event started. I didn't want to be stuck in a crowd of Quidditch fans and journalists.

James was casually strolling around, not looking like he planned to buy anything. "Do you actually need anything from here?" I asked him.

"Nope."

"Then why did you insist we went here first?"

"Because he's a crazy Quidditch Captain who likes to hang around in here, why else?" Al quipped in a teasing tone, "And he likes to be contrary."

"Actually, no. We," he gestured to the two of us, "need to select new robes for the Gryffindor team. McGonagall sent me a letter." I wasn't aware of this until just now but okay.

"You don't have a team!"

James ran his fingers through his hair, "But we will, baby brother, we will. And we'll win every game this season. And we'll do it in new robes."

Al rubbed his chin in thought, "Want to bet on that?" he asked. I felt left out of the conversation so I drifted off towards the part of the shop where all the Beater gear was displayed. There wasn't anything that I needed but it was nice to look at all the merchandise on offer.

By the time we selected the new robes, with Al's silly remarks about the possible designs, most of them offensive to Gryffindor, and buying all the other school stuff, I was so hungry my head started hurting. Or maybe it hurt because of a slight hangover. Who knows? Though I hoped this Sleeping Dragon did not have a sleeping chef.

The inn was nestled between Herman's Herbarium, a quaint-looking shop overflowing with various plants which looked to be in the process of taking over the place, and Solomon's Snakes, which, true to its name, sold snakes. I nudged Al towards it so he could greet his fellow snakes. He didn't look amused. Maybe he was secretly afraid of them. Scorpius would have a laugh at that since that guy actually owned a pet snake. He named her Solaris. Sol for short. Ash told me he sometimes talked with Sol about the meaning of life. I wasn't concerned with such a philosophical question, but if I was, I doubt I would talk to Ziggy about it.

The Sleeping Dragon Inn had a sign above the entrance of a sleeping, unfriendly-looking dragon and a wizard with a death wish trying to poke it. When James opened the door, the dragon woke up and burnt the wizard to ashes. After Al closed the door behind us, both the dragon and the wizard went back to how they were. The interior looked like a cave, the only light came from the small fire pits on top of the tables. Almost all of them were taken, so I decided to take that as a good sign with regards to the quality of the food.

James was the tallest out of the three of us so he was the first to spot our friends at a table some ways back, near what looked like a real dragon sleeping, but I assumed it wasn't real. That would be illegal. Not to mention dangerous.

I could see Dom, her silvery hair a stark contrast to the dark cave. She had a sneaky look to her, and my suspicion of something sneaky afoot was only confirmed when I saw Lily trying to inconspicuously spy on someone sitting alone at a nearby table. Ash and Fred were in deep conversation, but I was too far away to hear anything they might've said. Scorpius was there as well, looking his usual moodyhot self. I had to invent a new word for his particular brand of hotness.

"Who are we spying on?" I said as I sat down next to Dom, James and Al following. She shushed me. Scorpius snorted.

"We are not spying on anyone," he said with a significant look thrown Dom's way, "But Dominique is stalking Teddy Lupin."

"Teddy is here?" James asked as he turned around and saw the guy sitting alone at the table. I presumed that was Teddy, but his back was turned towards us so I couldn't tell.

"Don't draw his attention!" Dom whispered but it was futile. James was already up and walking towards Teddy. "I'm not stalking him," she huffed, "I just happen to know he always goes for dinner here after work." Teddy Lupin worked at Gringotts, but the exact nature of his job was secret. The Goblins liked their secrets.

"That is practically the definition of stalking!" Ash said before she waved her hand at a waiter.

"It's not stalking if he told me!"

"Dom, you're my cousin and I love you, but isn't Teddy pretty much out of bounds? He's with Victoire," Fred had a concerned expression on his face. He most likely thought Victoire would kill Dom. She was currently not working anywhere due to her anger management issues. It seems that hexing a parent for, and I quote, 'being a fucking Devil's Snare of a parent' is frowned upon.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Freddie. Just leave it, okay?" Dom was nervous, I could tell by the way she twirled her hair around her finger, untwirled it and then twirled it again. James was coming over with Teddy, who was sporting spiky platinum blonde hair today. He looked like an older Scorpius. Which made sense since they were related. Dom grabbed Scorpius' hand, I guess for show because they sure as hell weren't together, and threw him a silencing look just before James and Teddy joined us.

Lily beamed at them, "Teddy! We didn't see you over there! Want to join us?" He sat down opposite Dom, James next to him, and the table expanded so we could all fit without anyone getting an elbow to the head. Before Teddy could say anything, the waiter came over, a hipster with a beard and slicked backed hair. He had a moving dragon tattoo on his neck, but when the tattooed dragon saw us, it hid under the waiter's shirt, just the eyes remaining visible. It must've been a scaredy-dragon.

"I'll have a cider and – What?" Ash was looking at me with a disapproving look, "The Firewhisky wore off, so I'm going to ignore your looks." I looked at the menu but there was just too much stuff on offer and I was dying from hunger, my stomach making uncomfortable sounds, "Just give me the largest meal you have," I told the waiter. He looked like he was about to laugh at me but he stopped himself. Everyone else placed their orders, and all of them ordered some kind of alcohol so I don't get why I was the only one that got a judging look from Ash, but okay.

"What are you lot up to?" Teddy asked though he was only looking at Dom. And at her hand still covering Scorpius'. Something was going on that I wasn't aware of. That was fine with me, I wasn't interested in other people's drama. Apparently, some people, like Fred, were very interested.

"What's up with you and Victoire? Are you still together? Are you getting married? Or maybe you're getting a dog together?" Fred bombarded Teddy with questions, not even Dom kicking him under the table helped stop him.

"We're going to The Howler after dinner. You should go with us, Teddy!" Dom said and winked at him. Teddy blushed. I stopped paying attention and started fidgeting around, trying not to think about food and ignoring the tasty smells from nearby tables. Where in the seven hells was that waiter? James grinned at me and offered me a chocolate bar. I devoured it.

"You could've given me this sooner! I almost died," I said as I chewed.

"Should we start carrying around bits of food so you don't go mental when you get hungry?"

Crumpling the wrapper and burning it above our table's fire pit, I grumbled, "Is that even a real question?"

When the waiter finally came, it became apparent that their largest meal was something I was right to order because everyone else got the tiniest portions imaginable. Who spends time making food only for it to be tiny and eaten in two bites? I got some kind of a hipster burger that was popular these days. It was tasty but I think I would've found everything tasty by this point.

Teddy looked at his wristwatch and made a face, "So, The Howler? I don't think I can go with you. Victoire is probably waiting for me at home and I've got work tomorrow –"

"Fuck work!" Surprisingly, this came from Fred.

"Live a little, Teddy!" Ash said and poked him.

I got up from the table, cast a shrinking spell on my shopping bags and stuffed them into my small going-out-bag. "I don't care what you do, Teddy, but we're going now because I'm in the mood for drinking and dancing like a Hippogriff and not giving a fuck about anything, so get moving! Dinner parties are boring."

Dom shot up like a spring, dragging Scorpius behind her. That seemed to do the trick in convincing Teddy because he spiked up his hair even more and followed them. I stopped by the bar to order a round of Serpentgin shots for everyone to start us off before we left.

The Howler was a popular nightclub, settled in what used to be a warehouse, at a corner where Diagon Alley meets Knockturn Alley. It was packed all the time, regardless of the time of day. Often, there would be concerts by famous groups like the Eclipse or The Wayward Wyverns, but I preferred it on nights like these, with a DJ and the mood-enhancing fog it was famous, and loved, for. The Howler was owned by an enigmatic Potions Master who perfected the fog and had an appreciation for good music. She saw it as a great way to combine both of her passions.

In the half-darkness of the club, with the beat of the music making my body move to the tune, and the red lights, it was easy to let myself go. We were dancing in a loosely formed circle but I soon noticed both Dom and Teddy were missing from the group, Fred and Ash were in one of the booths nursing beers and looking sulky for some reason and James went off in the direction of the bar to get us more drinks.

With the lights pulsing everything looked like it was happening in slow motion or my head was just hazy but I could've sworn I saw Lily snogging Scorpius in front of me but she was now walking away so I had no idea what I saw. I locked eyes with Al, his green ones giving me a piercing stare that made me remember how good we were together and I felt myself letting even more go.

It was just me on the dance floor, my eyes closed now, bumping into other people and dancing. Soon, I felt a familiar set of arms around my waist, making me tingle, knowing all the spots they needed to press. I turned my head around and half opened my eyes, green ones meeting mine, our heads moving closer, still in slow motion, and lips finally meeting. He was rushing now, like I was air and he needed to breathe, his tongue parting my lips, dancing around my mouth in a way he knew made me weak. We parted, his soft lips travelling down my neck, teasing, probing, making me crazy.

Opening my eyes fully, I saw James standing next to us with drinks levitating in front of him with a look I couldn't read through the haze. I disentangled myself from Al, rolled my eyes and laughed everything off.

Stumbling a bit because of the crowd, I took a drink from James, standing on my toes so I could shout in his ear above the music, "A moment of weakness!" He smiled at that, a weird smile I couldn't decipher, moving his head closer to me, he nodded and said, "You're corrupting my brother!" With that, he moved over to Al, who looked like he was high and they talked about something I couldn't hear. Most likely me.

I wanted another drink so I went to the bar, a piece of rock that glowed from within. While I waited for the barman to notice me, someone slithered in beside me.

A husky voice I hadn't expected to hear so soon drawled, "Are you stalking me, Quinn Jones?" Logan Anderson was standing next to me, in all his hot badassery, casually leaning on the bar, smoking a cigarette.

I raised my eyebrows at him, "I could ask you the same question, Logan Anderson."

He smirked as he took a drag from his cigarette, "You look particularly hot tonight." I laughed at that because I was in my usual black jeans and a black T-shirt.

"I look hot all the time," I said winking at him. The barman noticed me and I ordered another shot.

"Make that two," Logan said and threw a Galleon at the bar to pay. I noticed he had nice, long fingers that looked nimble. The barman nodded, pushing two shots towards us. We clanked our glasses and drank them.

Logan moved even closer to me, his arm around my waist now, and asked, "So, how about that dance?"

"Actually –," I wanted to tell him I was here with my friends so I turned around to point at them and saw no one was there except James grinding against a girl, looking like he was about to shag her in the middle of the club.

I took Logan's arm and led him to the dance floor. He was quick to pull me closer to him, dancing with me, my arms around his neck and I was taken over by the beat. His dark blond bangs were in his eyes and I moved them away. I felt light and alive with someone so different. He smelled like smoke and tasted like tequila. His lips were rough, the slight stubble brushing against my cheek and I traced my finger along his scar. A tantalising song came on and I turned around, my back to him, his arms all over me. I could feel him through my clothes, he was kissing my ear and I had to turn around and crash my lips to his. I bit him and he bit back. I could taste blood and it was enough to make me go crazy.

"Let's go to your place," I whispered to his ear and I didn't have to repeat myself. He took my hand and we exited the club, my friends forgotten. When we were outside, he started kissing me again, my back against the wall of the club. I put my hand on his chest and stopped him, "Your place, now." Without anything further, I could feel the pull of Apparation and we were inside what I presumed was his flat.

* * *

I woke up, my head feeling like it was trampled on by a horse. The unfamiliar grey sheets were tangled around me, Logan lying next to me, smoking another cigarette.

"Hey."

I threw him a look and started laughing, "Hey? That's all? While I'm naked in your bed? You're hilarious!"

He didn't say anything to that, his eyes clouded over, and he sat up, leaned down above me, getting close and hovering, looking at me with dark eyes, and it was enough that I tangled my fingers in his hair and kissed him, not being able to wait until he made the first move.

Later, I got up and realised it was the afternoon. Throwing on his shirt, I went to the kitchen. Logan followed me, naked, his muscles rippling as he walked. He was distracting and a smile tugged at my lips as I remembered the night before.

"You want breakfast?"

"You mean, lunch? Definitely."

He opened his fridge and turned around, "I only have cereal and tequila," he said with a frown. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Cereal is fine."

We ate in silence. When we finished he looked at me and I could see a faint blush in his cheeks.

"Er, you want to hang out? Or, I mean, not hang out, like, go on a date?"

He just couldn't leave it at a fun one night stand, could he?

I moved closer, kissed him, "This was awesome, but no."

He looked confused, "But, I… We had fun, right? It was good for you?"

Rolling my eyes, I started dressing myself, "It was great, but I don't want to go on a date with you, sorry."

He smirked, "Okay. But maybe we could do this again?"

I winked at him, "Maybe," and with that, I left his flat and exited his building. I was somewhere in London. I waved my wand and the Knight Bus appeared. I sat by the front entrance and closed my eyes until we came to my house.

It was almost getting dark by now and I could see there was a light on in the living room. I opened the door and was met by three angry voices.

"Where –"

"With whom –"

"What the hell!"

Ethan, James and grandad were staring at me like I grew a third head.

"Where the fuck were you?" grandad yelled. Ethan was looking murderous. James was frowning.

"Er –"

"Why didn't you tell me you were going off with someone?" it was James' turn to yell.

"Well, you were kind of busy, you know, practically shagging in the middle of the club so I didn't want to intrude!"

"Damn it, Quinn! You can't just go off like that," Ethan said.

Grandad waved his hands around and said, "Enough! So where were you?"

"I was with Logan Anderson," as I said this Ethan looked like he was about to throw up, "Ethan's friend, you know? He introduced us the other day." I couldn't stop grinning even with all the yelling.

As I took off my Converse, I nodded to James, "Come on, let's go hang out." We went to my room and lay on my bed. He was silent.

"So, you were worried about little old me?" I teased him to break the silence.

"A little," he admitted. I turned on my side so I could look at him.

"Aww, that's cute. You can't take it back, you know?"

He grinned, "Actually, I wasn't –"

I poked him and interrupted before he could finish the sentence, "No takebacks!"


	4. Chapter 4

The day before going back to Hogwarts was usually reserved for my whole family to get together and do something fun. Not this year, though, because tomorrow, England is going to play against Transylvania in a friendly match before the upcoming World Cup, near Sighișoara, so dad's been there for a week already, training. Mum left yesterday 'to support him'. Which left grandad, Ethan and me. As usual.

Ethan and I were in the basement, circling each other. Sweat was trickling down my neck, soaking my sports bra, my hands were sweating inside the boxing gloves and my arms were hurting.

I leapt forward and suddenly I was pounding him, his hands were up in the defensive position but that didn't stop me. He could take it and we both knew it. Each hit was harder than the one before and with each hit, a little bit of my anger and frustration dissipated. It wasn't just my parents. It was also James, who was acting weird and distant ever since we went to The Howler and I had no clue why. It pissed me off.

Ethan grabbed my hands before I could hit him again.

"Hey!" I glared at him but he didn't let go of my hands.

"What the fuck is up with you?" he asked. I stopped trying to hit him so he finally let go of me.

Turning away from him, I tore open the velcro with my mouth, pulled off my gloves and started taking off the hand wraps. He circled around me and made me look at him in the eyes. We had the same eyes, dark brown to the point of being almost black, and for a moment I felt like I was looking at myself in the mirror.

"Nothing is up with me," I shrugged and started climbing the stairs. Before Ethan could pester me more and try to make me talk about my feelings or some such bollocks, I heard a commotion upstairs so I started running, Ethan following after me.

For the second time in just a couple of days, I wondered why in the seven hells, didn't I always keep my wand with me. Standing in our living room, dressed in pale grey leather robes, was the most strikingly beautiful young woman I've ever seen. She had her wand drawn and pointed at grandad who was sitting in an armchair. She obviously interrupted him while he was reading the Daily Prophet and drinking his coffee with whiskey. He looked at her with raised eyebrows as he slowly folded the newspaper. Grandad was awfully calm for someone who had a wand pointed at them by a stranger in their own house.

Before anyone could say anything, Ethan was behind her, holding a knife to her throat. It seemed he was of the 'cut first, ask questions later' mindset currently. Where did he even keep a knife?

"This escalated quickly," grandad said with an eye roll. He sipped from his cup.

"I don't know who you are but if you don't drop your wand I'm going to –"

"Relax, Ethan," grandad interrupted, "nobody is going to do anything," he pointedly looked at the woman before continuing, "Isn't that right, Selene?"

"Are you with them?" she said, still not lowering her wand.

"With whom?"

By this point, I couldn't just stand there and act like everything was normal.

"What the fuck is going on? Who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you pointing a wand at our grandad?" It seemed I found my voice. Grandad started chuckling but Ethan was stock-still and his face was contorted in anger.

"Selene Zhang, the former chief designer at Vulcan's Fire. I was just attacked at my house in Iceland," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, not looking particularly worried. "What I am trying to find out is whether or not Ian is colluding with my board of directors." While she was talking, she lowered her wand and grandad adopted a serious expression.

"You're the Stormwind designer?" as I said this grandad exclaimed, "Selene, for all your fucking smarts, you can be bloody stupid!"

He got up and started pacing across the room. Ethan sat down on the armchair, concealing his knife somewhere. Seriously, where does he keep it?

"Sit down, both of you!" grandad barked at Selene and me. To my surprise, she listened to him, unlike moments ago when she looked like she was ready to murder all three of us. I guess the adrenaline wore off.

Grandad stopped pacing. He poured Firewhisky into two glasses from a crystal decanter he kept on a credenza near the window, one for himself and the other he gave to Selene. "Start from the beginning."

"It is quite simple. I have applied for a patent on the Stormwind and the spells I invented. The application is a mere formality, the patent is going to be awarded to me. But, my board of directors did not like what they consider their property being owned by someone else. Namely, me. First, there were just threats and then… Things escalated. All of my acquaintances have been compromised by either money, threats or both. And I have no family. You are the only one left for me to turn to."

She downed her glass of Firewhisky. If I didn't know better, I would never think this woman sitting beside me was under serious threat.

"How can you be so calm?" I asked her. She looked at me with a peculiar expression, as if she didn't understand my question.

"Calm? Hm…," Selene got up and walked towards the window, she stood there, empty glass still in hand and looked out. "An interesting concept. I am confident in my abilities to defend myself. Do you think it would help if I panicked?"

Ethan started to laugh at that and Selene threw him a confused look. "Did I say something funny?"

"Well, yes," Ethan shrugged his shoulders, "but let me get this straight, you thought your best course of action would be to Apparate here and ask for grandad's help, but not before you pointed a wand at him and did, what? Curse him? How would that work in your favour?"

"It was simply a precaution that seemed fitting. There is a lot of money involved. I am not in it for the money, but I do not want my intellectual property misused. The patent is a means of ensuring that."

"How?"

"When you apply for a patent and they award it to you, a spell is cast that bonds it to you and makes any other means of acquiring it useless. Even with Veritaserum. You might know the incantation but you couldn't use it properly."

Grandad was pacing again and muttering to himself, "Stupid bloody soft heart…bloody promise…bollocks…"

He suddenly stopped and threw his glass into a wall. It crashed into a million pieces but he quickly waved his wand to repair it. He turned around to see three sets of eyes staring at him.

"Okay. Okay. I need to think. I promised your bloody mother who just had to go and bloody die too young that I'll keep an eye on you, Selene. I'm obviously a bloody fucking idiot because now I have to deal with that fucking creep Thorne and his lot. Why the fuck did you have to go and work for that fucker, eh? You couldn't go and work for Ellerby and Spudmore?"

"We could kill him." Now we all looked at Selene in shock. Ethan looked interested in the idea. What the fuck?

"Nobody is killing anybody. This needs to be dealt with quietly and politically. I'll handle it. I have enough dirt on all of them to make them reconsider whatever stupid plan they made. In the meantime, Ethan, your particular set of skills will be useful if anybody is idiotic enough to try and get to her here." Grandad threw him a pointed look, "Is that understood?"

Ethan was frowning, "I have a mission tonight."

"Bloody fantastic! Just get here when you can."

It seemed to me that I was the only one who even properly registered Selene's suggestion of killing someone. I tried to read her face again but it was as blank as a white canvas. She was either a high-functioning sociopath or…I didn't know the alternative.

I suspected grandad was quite aware of the fact but it didn't seem to bother him. And Ethan, well, sometimes my brother was as much an enigma to me as Ancient Runes or Gobbledegook. He never talked much about what he did on his missions and his recent bloodied late-night appearance still bothered me. As far as I could tell, Hit Wizards, at least the ones who were Ethan's friends and whom I met, almost never talked about their work. Not even Ragnar would tell me anything and he acted like I was his little sister, too.

"When I woke up this morning, I didn't expect that I'd find out my grandad was playing the game of thrones. Or the game of, er, broomsticks," I said, trying to lighten the mood. Nobody answered me, though both grandad and Ethan threw me gloomy looks. Selene didn't even bother with that.

Deciding I've had enough of this whole thing, I got up from the sofa and went to my room, leaving three brooding people behind me, each with their own thoughts.

As I started to take off my shorts before I could jump in the shower, James' face appeared in the two-way mirror laying on my bed.

"Quinn?"

I picked up the mirror and peered at him. When I saw his frowning face I felt my anger bubbling up inside me again, remembering how we were inseparable and everything was perfect and now… Now I haven't seen him properly since the day I spent at Logan's.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked and at the same time James said, "Why are you in your bra?"

His question confused me for a moment. I forgot I was boxing because of the whole Selene situation.

"I was boxing, you know, with Ethan since you obviously have a problem with me so I haven't even seen you –"

"What the fuck are you talking about? I just thought you were with Logan and I didn't want to interrupt your –"

"LOGAN? Are you bloody crazy? I haven't even seen Logan since The Howler!"

"FINE! I'm not fucking mad at you!"

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, so not mad at me.

"I just think you were idiotically irresponsible."

"What? What the fuck is your problem, James?"

He ruffled his already messy hair, making it even more wild than usual. I could see he was counting numbers inside his head so he would calm down.

"It was the second time you met the guy and immediately you had to go and shag him! Without even saying anything to anybody, which, by the way, is the actual problem, not the shagging part. And everyone agrees with me!"

I was tempted to follow grandad's example and throw the two-way mirror into a wall. Even though James might've been a tiny bit right, I couldn't make myself back down. Not after it seemed like he decided it would be a great idea to talk about me with everyone.

"Oh everyone agrees? Is that so? You've been talking about me with, what, your entire family? All our friends? That's just perfect!"

James pinched his nose and let out a sigh. I could see he was in his room. He started pacing and the mirror showed me glimpses of his messy, half-packed school trunk as he held it in his hand.

"Don't you understand we were all bloody worried when you didn't show up the next day? Ethan almost killed us because we 'let you do it'. Like we could've fucking stopped you."

I scoffed at that, "Why do you even care?" He stopped pacing when he heard me. There was some muttering I couldn't pick up. He set the mirror on his bed. I knew that because I could see the ceiling of his room. Taking the mirror into his hands he looked at me like I suddenly grew a beard.

"I fucking love you, that's why."

I dropped my mirror and again felt as if I couldn't get enough air, just like it was the night before we went to The Howler.

James was still talking while I was having my crisis, his voice muffled by the fluffy carpet, "…I'm your friend and I love you and I worry when you disappear. Why is that so shocking?"

I picked up the mirror and turned it over. James saw me looking at him and stopped talking. We looked into each other's eyes and I managed to gulp down some air.

People didn't tell me they loved me. My family might mention it sometimes on birthdays and days like that but it was more like a catchphrase without any real meaning.

I broke the silence, "Did you just say you love me?"

He had a stupid grin on his face but even though it was stupid, it still made me a little less angry at him.

"You're way too stubborn and temperamental and insufferably cocky, and sometimes it can be hard for anyone else to even like you. But you're my best friend. Of course I love you," James said in a confident voice, not being afraid of saying all these things that meant something. That possibly meant everything.

I stared blankly at him, not knowing what I could possibly say. So I probably said the most ridiculous thing you can say.

"Okay."

James peered at me and started laughing when he saw my face, "You're freaking out right now, right?"

I chuckled at that, he knew me so well. "A little bit," I admitted. He burst into a fit of laughter. The sound of his laughter felt like home. It felt like the past few days weren't as bad as they actually were. It felt like I had my anchor back. Which scared me because I didn't realise how much life sucked when James wasn't a big part of it. I guess I forgot how it was when it was just Ethan and I, before James befriended me. And even though I always knew I wasn't easy to like and it never bothered me, hearing James say he loved me as his best friend despite everything felt reassuring.

His laughter was always contagious to me so I started to properly laugh, too. When I finally stopped, I got up, opened the window and leaned out, breathing in the fresh air. I put the two-way mirror on the windowsill. James was still there, looking pensive.

"Why did you even want to be my friend?" I asked him, "You know, back in first year? I was such an arrogant little bastard."

"Sometimes you ask me such stupid questions. How could I not befriend the only other person in the whole castle who managed to get detention in the first week of school? Besides, you were a pretty wild eleven-year-old. I'll never forget how you kicked that tosser Osborne when he said girls couldn't play Quidditch. I don't think he was able to walk properly for a week after that. You probably destroyed any hopes he had of having children."

When he mentioned Nicholas Osborne I mentally gagged. It was a reflex after all the years I've been steadily hating him. The feeling was mutual, I was sure of it. I always wondered how he could've been sorted into Hufflepuff when he was such an enormous, chauvinistic wanker.

"Be serious, James." I waited for the inevitable 'I'm always Sirius' joke but it never came. Instead, he mumbled, "You seemed lonely."

I decided to ignore that. Admitting I felt lonely meant admitting defeat. I was perfectly fine being by myself. Most of the time.

"I'm still claiming that was a bogus detention. The only reason I got it was because dad absolutely crushed Professor North's favourite Quidditch team the day before. There is literally nothing in the school rules about being sarcastic."

James snickered, "But there probably is something about being rude to teachers and whatnot."

"Maybe," I relented, "but I guess something good at least came out of that detention."

"Our wonderful friendship?"

"Me being labelled as the most badass first year."

He looked at me with his personal brand of puppy dog eyes that, ninety per cent of the time, could make anyone do anything. Even me.

"Okay, fine. Our friendship," I made a face at him, "Stop looking at me like that! You know I hate your puppy dog eyes."

"You just hate them because they make you do whatever I want!"

I silently glared at him. He smiled. The eyes were still there.

I smiled back.

* * *

Standing alone in front of the Hogwarts Express, I contemplated why I couldn't just Apparate to Hogsmeade. Instead, I had to lug my huge trunk and Ziggy's carrier around King's Cross until I passed into the Platform 9¾. Stupid Statute of Secrecy. I was tempted to use magic anyway and then Obliviate Muggles who saw me but it was so busy I would've had to Obliviate the whole station.

Ethan never showed up after his mission, which worried me but I reckoned that if something happened to him someone would've notified us. So grandad stayed with Selene, sending Odin to do his shady bidding and leaving me to board the train alone. In the past, both grandad and Ethan went with me. My parents, on the other hand, never escorted me to school, not even when I started my first year. Appleby Arrows were playing in the League final. Dad couldn't miss mum's biggest game of the season.

I trudged through the train, looking for either the compartment occupied by James and Fred or an empty one. I spotted Ashley exiting a compartment and heading in the opposite direction, most likely to find her Ravenclaw boyfriend. When I reached it and peered inside, I saw James engrossed in the newest issue of Quidditch Weekly (it featured a huge interview with Riz Khan) and Fred with his head in the DADA textbook. It seemed as if he was already halfway through it. Antigone, James' pet owl, looked unhappy in her cage.

As I opened the door, Ziggy jumped out of his carrier and onto one of the benches, settling down next to Fred who didn't even flinch or look up from his book. That crazy cat was either not a cat or he was abnormally intelligent. How else would he have opened the locking mechanism? I swear I could see him sneering at Antigone, brazenly basking in his freedom.

"Hey," I said and sprawled over the bench, leaning heavily against James.

"Hey yourself," he replied and immediately started playing with my hair, something he often did, "I would've thought you'd at least buy me dinner first before being all over me. This is not very ladylike," he joked but that only got the smallest chuckle possible from Fred. I gave James a questioning look but he only shrugged his shoulders.

"When have I ever been ladylike?"

That got a snort out of Fred. He looked up from the book and gave me a silly look, "Never."

I stuck my tongue out at him, "How's the book? Learned anything yet or are you only pretending to read so I wouldn't poke fun at you because you were like a grumpy old lady at The Howler? Actually, you and Ash both could become the official members of the 'old ladies club'."

"You and James both could become the official members of the 'shag anything moderately attractive club'." Fred was grinning now and I was glad I could tear him from his gloomy mood at least a tad.

"Oh, don't be like that, we only shag exquisitely fit people, right James?"

James nodded his head gravely as if we were discussing something of importance, which made the whole situation even more comical.

"I saw Ash leaving. She went searching for Jonathan?" I asked. Her things were still here, neatly arranged between Fred and the window.

"Yep," James said, avoiding having to look at Fred. "Did you know they made him Head Boy?"

"Really? How dreadfully boring. It would've been fucking hilarious if they chose someone like you. Do you reckon Dumbledore was taking the mickey out of the Heads of Houses when he suggested your grandad for Head Boy and they all thought he was serious so they agreed, because who doesn't agree with Dumbles, right? And then he was just like 'fuck it, let's do it, maybe send Minnie to St Mungo's and have the most notorious prankster the school has ever seen be a role model, why not?'?"

We were all in fits of laughter by the time I was finished with my mini-monologue.

The rest of the train ride was uneventful. Dom was nowhere to be seen, James did mention something about her and a Hufflepuff but I wasn't that interested. Ashley came back just before the train stopped so we all rode together in the carriage. She spent the whole time complaining about her mother. It seemed that Daphne Greengrass – Thompson wasn't thrilled by the idea of Ash deciding she wanted to be a writer for a living. She could've easily chosen any other career because Ash was crazy smart and hardworking. But writing was what made her happy.

By the time we were all sitting in the Great Hall, waiting for the Sorting Hat to do its thing, I was dying from boredom and hunger. Dom arrived there before us so she saved us seats with the rest of her family who were in Gryffindor. As the tiny thing by the name of Roman Parker sat down at our table we politely clapped.

"Do you ever want to listen to the Sorting Hat as it talks to the people while it's deliberating?" Fred asked me. He was sitting beside me, eating a carrot. I don't know where he got it from but it would've been nice if he shared. I think he has a friend who is a house elf and she sneaks him food.

"No."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Why not? I've always wondered about what he told other people," he mused.

"I'm not interested enough in other people to wonder what the Hat told them. Seriously, Fred, why would anyone care?"

A thoughtful look passed over him and he smiled as he thought up an answer, "Research?"

I shook my head in annoyance, rolling my eyes for good measure, "No."

"You are not a very nice Gryffindor, Quinn."

"I know. That's why I'm not a Hufflepuff. That's the house with almost exclusively nice people. I hope I never have to venture into their common room. I think I'd spontaneously combust. Like a vampire in a church." With that, Shivani Varma was sorted into Slytherin, McGonagall said a few words I didn't even try to listen to and the feast started.

* * *

After everyone had gone to bed, James and I snuck out with our brooms and a small flask of Ogden's Old. It somehow became a tradition for the two of us to ride our brooms around the grounds the first night back. I caught James sneaking out to do just that when our second year started. It didn't take much convincing for me to join him.

We were sitting down on the hard grass of the Quidditch Pitch. The sky was clear, a billion stars shining above us, the half-moon allowing for enough light to see by.

"To our last year!" James exclaimed as he handed me the flask with the Firewhisky. We each drank just a bit since we were going to fly.

I admired the smooth handle of the Stormwind and for a moment I wondered what was happening back home. Where was Ethan?

James got up and helped me up. We mounted our brooms and soon we were zooming high above the castle. I did a flip, showing off a little with flying upside down. James flew underneath me, in perfect sync. When I was flying I felt like I could conquer the world. I forgot about my family and even Quidditch. It was just me and James in the air, not a care in the world.

I suddenly had a brilliant idea. Something we haven't done in a while.

"James!" I yelled even though he was near me but the adrenaline was making me talk loudly.

"What?"

"Race?"

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked, "When don't I want to race?"

I nodded my head and broke out in a wide grin, "First one to Hagrid's hut wins! But you have to pass through the flying buttresses!" Before I even finished my sentence I sped past him, the castle a blur underneath me, coming closer at an almost frightening speed. I zoomed past the Gryffindor Tower, around the Owlery to make the race more interesting, James on my tail. I neared the flying buttresses, passed through the first one, went over the second. I turned my head before I passed the third one to see where James was and saw his white face and wide eyes, his wand out, a spell hitting me and stopping me mid-air, mere inches before I hit the third buttress.

James, still white as snow, slowly levitated me to the ground, obviously not confident enough in my abilities that I could fly on my own after the shock of almost dying.

When we landed, he released the spell. I was immediately engulfed in a crushing hug. James held me around the waist with one arm, his other pressing our foreheads together. We were both breathing heavily, so close that each breath he exhaled was the one I inhaled.

He soon had both arms around me, not letting me go. I thought he felt I would fall apart if he did let go. I don't think he would've been wrong.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally moved away a bit but still held my shoulders with his hands. "Don't fucking do that to me ever again or I'll personally kill you if you do," he whispered before he hugged me close.

He didn't let go.

And I didn't want him to.


	5. Chapter 5

Needless to say, after being so stupid to look away while flying straight for the fucking flying buttress, I didn't feel like riding my broom anymore. I couldn't understand my own stupidity, though I suspected it wasn't so much stupidity that almost killed me, but my foolishly competitive nature. I just had to look away to gloat over being faster than James. Right. If curiosity killed the cat, then my ego is what was going to be the death of me. They should write that on my gravestone.

We were lying on the ground near the Great Lake, our hands barely touching, our brooms unceremoniously discarded a few feet away. The barely there contact was what helped the most with my shock. It was a link to reality, to life. The sign that I was still there, alive, safe.

The stars twinkled in the night sky, a distant owl hooted. My heart was still beating fast, as though it was going to pop out of my chest.

I propped myself on my elbow so I could look at James, who was staring at the sky. He wasn't as pale as before but it was obvious he was also shaken up. I nudged a tad closer and he managed a small smile as my face obscured his view of the sky.

"I'd be dead if it weren't for you."

"I don't want to think about that," he said. He moved up, tucking the hair that fell in my face behind my ear, his hand lingering, touching my flushed cheek. His touch felt like fire.

For the briefest and most ludicrous of moments, presumably resulting from temporary insanity caused by shock, it seemed like he was about to kiss me.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, a huge eagle owl flew down and dumped a letter on my head, immediately flying away, not even waiting for a response.

James, as if woken up from a dream, jerked away from me and looked at the hand that touched me in bewilderment. I sat up properly and turned over the letter. It was addressed to me in familiar handwriting. I tore open the envelope and took out the parchment. There were splashes of wine on the parchment, slightly smudging some of the words and the whole letter stank of alcohol and smoke.

 _Dear Ms Jones,_

 _You will be pleased to know that the English National Quidditch Team has bloody annihilated Transylvania in today's match. Your parents are currently otherwise occupied, so I was tasked with notifying you about the result. Best of luck in the coming school year!_

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Ravi Patel_

 _Assistant Manager with the English National Quidditch Team_

James cocked his head at me with a questioning look. I rolled my eyes and shoved the letter towards him. He briefly scanned it and frowned. After he read the letter, James took out his wand and set it on fire. Neither of us said anything. There was nothing to say about the already established fact that my family was fucked up.

As the flames died down, James stood up and dusted himself off. I took the hand he extended and pulled myself up. We picked up our brooms and started the walk back to the castle. James put an arm around my shoulders and instead of taking the shortcut to the Gryffindor Tower, he steered us towards the kitchens.

"The kitchens?"

"I think both of us need a hot chocolate sprinkled with Firewhisky after a near-death experience."

It was nice sitting down in the kitchens and drinking the spiked hot chocolate. The house elves loved James for all the obvious reasons, and they even liked me, no doubt because I was James' friend. I never met a house elf before James took me to the kitchens in first year to grab some sweets after I picked a fight with Stella Moss, the ultimate fan of her aunt's lovely journalist work. Yes. Rita Skeeter's niece. How could I not try to hex her? Luckily for me, the third year wasn't that good with her wand.

I blew into my cup before taking a sip. The wonderful mix of chocolate and Firewhisky made me relax.

"How come your go-to answer to all my problems is Firewhisky?" I asked James, "Am I giving off the vibe of being an alcoholic?"

He snickered at that but soon turned serious, "Believe me, I'm tempted to solve your problems another way, only if I could."

"James…"

"What?" he asked and stood up, towering over me, "How can they not even…Bloody hell." He sat back down and finished his hot chocolate. "Are we going to talk about it?"

I didn't want to talk. I wanted to feel like I felt when we were flying.

Or…Or when we were by the lake.

"There's nothing to talk about," I sighed, "and anyway, we already did. Every time something like this comes up…We're all fucked up and that's the end of it. It's great when we're together, it's depressing when we're not. I'm tired of trying to come up with excuses for my family. So can we just leave it? Please?" I looked at him with pleading eyes and his expression softened.

"Fine. But I'm here for you."

"I know."

* * *

"Quinn!"

Someone was shaking me.

"If you don't get up right now you'll miss breakfast and classes!" Dom was yelling at me. Why did she feel the need to bother me so early in the morning? I bet it wasn't even eight o'clock. Silly Dom.

"Quinn fucking Jones!" Ash pulled my covers and exposed me to an unreasonably chilly morning air.

"What the fuck do you want?" I roared from my position on the bed, curled up around the oversized pillow. My eyes were closed against the sunlight streaming in. Staying up late with James the previous night, almost dying and my general tendency to oversleep that even grandad wasn't able to uproot all resulted in my dorm mates taking it upon themselves to force me out of bed.

I opened my eyes and saw Ash pursing her lips in annoyance. Her usually wild hair was somewhat tamed in a loose bun and her caramel skin was practically glowing bathed in sunlight. It should be against the law to look that good so early in the morning.

Dom sat down on my bed and patted my shoulder with a comforting hand. There was no sign of our other dorm mates.

"You look like shit," she said and offered me a mirror. As I looked at my reflection, I understood why she was suddenly being comforting instead of annoyed. I was white as a corpse and had dark circles around my eyes that a panda would be proud of. Sadly, I wasn't a panda.

"Thanks. I guess," I muttered and looked at my watch. I only had twenty minutes before classes started. Fuck.

I got dressed and arrived at the Great Hall in record time. It was almost empty, but James and Fred were still at the Gryffindor table. I collapsed on the bench next to them, throwing my bag on the floor. Stuffing some toast in my mouth I took the timetable Fred offered me and skimmed over it. Luck was on my side for once because we had double Transfiguration before lunch, my favourite class. Not knowing what I wanted to do after Hogwarts if I didn't make it in professional Quidditch meant I still took a lot of the core classes. I dropped Herbology, History of Magic, Astronomy and Ancient Runes after fifth year, but kept Arithmancy. Numbers were something I was good at.

"Hurry up!" Fred was squirming in his seat, looking at his watch. I sent him a murderous glare but still got up, grabbed another piece of toast and we left the Great Hall. Professor Cavendish held a grudge against Fred. Accidentally setting her pet rabbit on fire during our third-year practical exam meant she took any chance she got to give him detention and take away house points from Gryffindor. Fred tried to reason with her that she shouldn't have had Hermes in the classroom with us while we took the exam but of course, it was futile. Poor Hermes was buried near Greenhouse Six. Cavendish still visits his grave every week and leaves some carrots on it.

James tapped the statue of the Architect of Hogwarts with his wand seven times and it moved to the side, allowing us to enter the tunnel that led us straight to the third-floor corridor where we had our Transfiguration lesson. I was just finishing up eating the toast I grabbed earlier when someone bumped into me from behind before I could follow James and Fred into the classroom.

I turned around and saw that it was an out-of-breath Jackson Wood. Even while audibly panting and holding his side, Jax Wood somehow managed to look fit while doing it. I guess that's what happens when you're the result of a torrid love affair between the most eligible bachelor according to _Witchy Quidditch_ for I don't even know how many years, Oliver Wood, and the Norwegian half-Veela supermodel Freya Johansen.

He caught his breath and looked up, "Oh, it's you." Straightening up, his face broke into a smirk.

"Oh, it's you? You ran out of flirty remarks or what?" I asked. He cracked a smile and scratched his jaw. I noticed his dirty blonde hair was sticking up at odd angles and his shirt was untucked, his tie loose. There was a smear of pink lipstick on his collar.

"If flirty remarks worked on you, I would've used those ages ago."

"Maybe I've changed, who knows?" I said and winked at him, "How early did you have to get up to shag somebody before classes started?"

"Are you implying that I should try it? And, uh, who says I ever went to sleep?"

I rolled my eyes at him and moved closer to fix his collar and emerald green tie. Jax seemed to have a completely different idea of what we were doing. Putting an arm around my waist, he pulled me even closer, leaning into me and closing his eyes. In the last moment before he could crash his lips on mine, I moved my head a little to the side so he only got the corner of my lips. While I appreciated his efforts, because who the hell wouldn't (damn those Veelas!), we were late for my favourite class.

"For fuck's sake, Jax! You should at least shower after a shag before you try snogging me!" I said in a teasing tone.

He looked dazed, "Sorry!" he exclaimed, jumping away like I hexed him, "I thought you were going to, uh, you know, after telling me I should try flirting and –"

I had to stop myself from laughing too hard at him so I turned around and opened the door of the classroom. He followed behind me, his face the embodiment of confusion.

"…for the upcoming NEWTs," we interrupted Cavendish as we took our seats. Her eyes turned to slits when she noticed us, "Miss Jones, Mr Wood. Aren't we lucky to be graced with your presence?" James and Fred looked over their shoulders at us, both of them snickering. Fred likely because he wasn't the one in trouble with Cavendish for once and James…Well, James liked when his sort-of-rival lost his House points. Even though they were friendly enough with each other, both Jax and James were Quidditch Captains, which always resulted in just a bit of tension. Maybe more than just a bit. Eh.

"Five points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin," Cavendish continued. She gave Jax the once-over and frowned even more, "Another five points from Slytherin for looking unkempt! Now, as I was saying before being rudely interrupted…" and she droned on about NEWTs and the amount of work she was going to give us and nothing even remotely interesting.

A parchment shaped like a bird fluttered to my desk. Opening it, I looked around to see who sent it. Fred and James were muttering something between themselves, but Ash caught my eye and wiggled her brows suggestively, making eyes at Jax who was sitting next to me and currently trying his best to not fall asleep.

 _Wood? Really, Quinn? He's been trying to get in your knickers for two years now! Before holidays started Dom and I called off the bet, thinking it'll never happen!_

The rest of the parchment was filled with either lewd stick figure pictures Ash drew or with equally lewd comments about how fit Jax is. I love how it seems that among my group of friends and even my family, it's very common for them to make bets about my sex life. Rolling my eyes at Ash, I didn't bother with scribbling a response. Instead, I took out my wand and transfigured the note into a quill, because I managed to forget mine this morning. At that moment, Cavendish turned around and saw me.

"It seems that even when late to class, Miss Jones doesn't refrain from showing off her Transfiguration skills. One point from Gryffindor for passing notes in class and five points for Gryffindor for the nice spellwork. If you're quite done, I shall continue with the lesson."

The rest of the lesson was more of the same. I admit, I zoned out about halfway through because I didn't really enjoy listening to Cavendish try and make us worry about NEWTs at the start of the school year. Jax fell asleep behind a book he charmed to stay open and upright in front of his sleeping form so I got bored pretty fast with no one to talk to or exchange notes with. My mind drifted off to Selene Zhang and her cold, blank face and dead eyes. I hoped either grandad or Ethan would send an owl and at least let me know they didn't kill anybody since I left for Hogwarts. I'll probably have to talk this over with James, just to get the whole thing out of my head. Last night was filled with too much excitement and shock for me to be in a talkative mood.

After class ended, Cavendish waved me over, "Miss Jones, I want to talk to you."

I shrugged my shoulders at Ash, Fred and James, "I'll see you guys at lunch," I said and walked up to the professor's desk. Despite being in her thirties, Cavendish had a stern look to her that made her appear older.

"Have you thought about what you want to do after you graduate, Miss Jones?" she asked and looked at me over her glasses.

"Play Quidditch professionally, Professor."

"Hm… And if you don't get an offer from a team? What then?"

I didn't like to think about that possibility. Mainly because it made me angry and frustrated. The only way I've ever known how to deal with that was to not think about it and pretend I was completely convinced of my superb Beater abilities.

"With all due respect, Professor, I will get an offer. So, if there was nothing else…" I trailed off, hoping I was rude enough that she'll get off my case.

She sighed, took off her glasses and started to clean them, "Very well. You're free to go. But, do remember that you have options. Whether you like it or not, the future is always uncertain." With one last look thrown my way, she shooed me away.

After that wonderful talk, I decided to take the longer route to the Great Hall. I felt like it would help with clearing my head.

As I walked through the first-floor corridor leading to the Grand Staircase, I spotted Scorpius suspiciously looking around before he fully emerged from behind the tapestry of Wulfric the Wondrous.

"We've only been back half a day, why are you already sneaking about?" I asked him. Scorpius looked at me with wide eyes, "I, uh… I'm not –"

Lily Potter's head appeared from behind the tapestry, followed by the rest of her, "Scorpius, what are you –" She stopped in her tracks when she saw me.

I smirked at them and put my hands on my hips, "Ha! I wasn't seeing things that night at The Howler! You two are dating!"

Lily frowned, "You can't tell my brother." Scorpius inhaled sharply at the mention of Lily's brother. I threw him a questioning look, but he just shook his head, not saying anything.

"I don't think James would care."

She rolled her eyes at me, "My other brother, you…Argh!" She threw her hands in the air, "Why are you even walking around here?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh, yeah, Al would most certainly care. And what the hell, I was just going to lunch like a normal person does at lunchtime, not sneaking behind tapestries and involving random people in their schemes when they get caught."

"Just don't tell him, alright?"

"What's in it for me?"

"What are you, a Slytherin?" At this, Scorpius looked offended, "Hey!" Lily just ignored his protest, continuing to look at me. I felt a little sorry for her when I remembered how her last boyfriend sported a fancy tail, courtesy of Al, for the better part of a week, before Madam Bones managed to remove it.

"Okay, fine, it's not like we're gossip buddies, anyway." I started to walk away from them but turned around to say something I thought of, only to be met with a full on snog-fest that looked ready to quickly be transformed into a shag-fest. Scorpius had Lily pressed against a wall, his hand dangerously high on her thigh. "Hey, idiots!" They jumped away from each other and both turned a deep red. "It's the middle of the fucking corridor! I know you're fucking hormonal and can't keep it in your pants, but don't blame me when the whole school ends up knowing your little secret!"

The only answer I got was the two of them disappearing behind the tapestry again. I scrunched up my nose, shook my head and walked away. If they'd rather shag and starve than eat lunch who am I to stop them?

I sat down next to James at the Gryffindor table. Somehow, none of our other friends were there. Putting my head in my hands I groaned.

"What is it? I thought you liked Transfiguration," he said, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

I looked up at him and made a sad face, "I like Transfiguration. I don't like professors being nosy and tormenting me with stupid questions." I piled roast chicken and grilled vegetables on my plate. "Cavendish implied I won't get an offer to play professional Quidditch."

"Fucking Cavendish can't tell which ball is the Bludger and which one is the Snitch. Since when do you even care what other people think?"

"I don't. But I do care when people annoy me on the first day of school. It doesn't matter, let's talk about something else."

"Okay, let's talk about…," he rummaged around in his backpack until he took out a crumpled copy of the _Daily Prophet_ from this morning, "this." He handed me the paper and the front page was filled with a huge picture of grandad looking shady and threatening with another guy I vaguely recognised as the CEO of Vulcan's Fire, Augustus Thorne. The headline 'IAN JONES – THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN?' was just the lead up to an article full of lies and misinterpretations.

If I was anyone else, I'd have thought my grandfather was a mastermind behind 'the Stormwind affair', as the unsigned journalist called Vulcan's Fire trying to push out Selene, and that he was using Ethan to hunt her down. It was also implied that she went crazy in their Iceland facility and killed one member of the board of directors, but it was only said to be an 'unconfirmed rumour'. I sighed and told James the whole story, or at least the part of the story I was familiar with.

He scratched his chin, "And you haven't heard from your grandad or Ethan?"

"Nope."

"Interesting."

I looked up at that, "What's interesting?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Everything. I could ask my dad to see if he knows something –"

Grabbing his hand I said, "No, you bloody won't! We're not getting involved and neither is your dad. Grandad's business is his own so we're just going to let him do his thing and pretend nothing is happening."

"But Quinn –"

"Ah ah ah! No buts. We're not talking about this."

"We're not talking about what?" Dom asked as she sat down opposite us, carrying a basket filled with what looked like raw meat.

"Jax Wood," I said without thinking, James stayed silent but still nodded his head. I didn't want anyone else knowing about anything that happened with grandad and Selene.

Dom's eyebrows shot up, "Oooooh, do tell!" She smirked and took a bite of my chicken.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my plate away from her, "There's nothing to tell, he bumped into me before Transfiguration. He was late because he spent the whole night shagging someone."

She got a dreamy look in her eyes and sighed wistfully, "I wouldn't mind being that someone."

I refrained from saying anything about Teddy but James nearly choked on his juice. "You're just saying that because he's part Veela," he said.

"I'm part Veela so it's definitely not that."

"I don't think that the Veela influence cancels each other out."

"How would you –"

"Hey Dom, why are you walking around with a basket full of raw meat?" I had to stop them because their discussions that always turn into arguments could go on forever.

She grinned, "I was helping Hagrid feed the Hippogriffs after my Care of Magical Creatures class. You know, Quickclaw has grown quite a bit since before the summer holidays! She'll be flying long journeys in no time…" Dom continued gushing about Quickclaw, the baby Hippogriff she helped Hagrid care for last year. Dom, Ash and I found her abandoned in Hogsmeade one weekend, near Hog's Head. Hagrid thought Quickclaw ended up there because of some illegal breeder trying to sell her off way too young.

The rest of the day passed in much the same way, with all the Professors needlessly stressing us out over NEWTs while the student body mostly gossiped about everyone and everything. The usual for the first day back at school.

We were all sitting at the Gryffindor table and eating dinner, with James and Fred talking about the merits of Potions.

"No mate, I'm telling you, Potions are the next big thing."

"But Defence Against the Dark Arts is –"

James interrupted, "So old school. Listen, you know how the Muggles have all these drugs…Well, imagine what you could achieve with some creative Potion making!" He smirked, "I already have quite a few ideas."

"James, you're not seriously considering making drug-like Potions and selling them to wizards?" Ash asked.

Fred rolled his eyes and stabbed a piece of roast beef with his fork, "Do you even have to ask? Of course he is."

"Wizards? Dear, deluded Ash, I would sell them to wizards and Muggles!" James wasn't totally kidding, either. He had a talent for Potions.

Dom looked around and stared at the Slytherin table with a confused expression on her face, "Why is Lily sitting with the Slytherins all of a sudden?" I turned around to look and saw Lily looking cosy between Al and Scorpius, the only Gryffindor at the table. Her cousin Hugo sat next to Scorpius and talked animatedly about something, making the other three laugh. At the whole other end of the table, Jax Wood was sitting alone for once, looking dejectedly at his uneaten broccoli.

Fred frowned, "Well, it's obvious, isn't it?"

Wait, what? Did Fred catch them, too?

"Lily is comforting Al," he continued, throwing a meaningful look my way. I choked on the glass of water I was in the process of gulping down. Everyone's eyes turned towards me.

"That's hilarious!"

"It's not hilarious if it's true."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Stop it. Seriously, Al is fine, look at him! He's laughing!"

"He's dying on the inside," Fred said in a serious tone, "He really has it bad for you, Quinn."

I looked to James to save me from Fred's hopeless romantic notions. He sighed, "Come on Fred, stop with the –"

"Aw, okay, you know I'm kidding, right Quinn?" He grinned at me, "I know you don't believe in romance but you'll see…" he said and winked. "James, when are we having the try-outs?" And just like that, the conversation turned from possibly dangerous territory to Quidditch and the upcoming try-outs for our team.

Dom was in the middle of telling Ash about Quickclaw, when Jonathan King, Ash's Ravenclaw boyfriend stormed towards our table, waving his wand with various things I recognised as Ash's levitating around him. He looked royally pissed off.

"Ashley!" Jonathan yelled. Ash stood up, looking bored out of her mind. I think that the fact he didn't get a reaction from her pissed off Jonathan even more.

"What is it, Jonathan?" Ash was now twirling her wand.

"Two years! You're throwing away…You! I fucking love you!" It seemed like everyone in the Great Hall was now staring at the two of them.

"You're making a scene. I broke up with you, get over it." Ash turned from him and started walking away. Jonathan's face was as red as my Gryffindor knickers. He pointed his wand at Ash.

"Get over it? Fine! I'll get over it! Here are your fucking things!" As he said this the things that were previously levitating around him started flying towards Ash. Fred got up and was starting to yell a curse at him when we heard a thud. Jonathan was on the floor, paralysed, with Ash's things lying all over the Great Hall. Ash wore a triumphant smile as she tucked her wand in her robes.

"Thanks, Fred, but I can defend myself." With that, she left the Great Hall, which was already brimming with gossip and rumours. No one came to help Jonathan, not even Flitwick, his ancient Head of House.

A tall and handsome Hufflepuff came over to our table and hugged Dom from behind. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, that was eventful," the Hufflepuff said. Dom looked up at him and smiled, "This is Sean Murphy, my boyfriend."

James and Fred stared at her in surprise. I couldn't help myself and there was no one there to stop me since Ash left and she was the tactful one, "But what about Teddy?" I asked. Fred belatedly kicked me under the table and I winced. Dom temporarily lost the grin but soon composed herself while Sean looked in confusion at me.

"What about Teddy?" Dom said. Now James kicked me. I forced a smile, "Nothing?"

James grinned at him, "Ignore Quinn, she's taken a Bludger to the head recently. So, uh, Sean, you want to come to the party we're organising next weekend? To welcome the new members of our Quidditch team."

I didn't know about any party until just now. Nobody tells me anything.

Sean gave me a sympathetic look but still smiled widely and sat down next to Dom, holding her hand on top of the table, "Sure!"

A chocolate cake appeared before me, courtesy of Fred, and I started eating it, ignoring Sean's pitying glances. "You're paying me back for this," I muttered to James. He pretended something fell down on the floor behind me and whispered, "I had to have Dom's back."

I snickered, "Are we a bad influence on her?" James had a wolfish grin on his face, "We're a great influence."


	6. Chapter 6

The first week passed in a blur of tedious classes. A few days ago James put up a flyer in the common room announcing the Quidditch try-outs this Saturday with a party in the Room of Requirement the same day, to welcome the new team members. Fred tried to coax Roxanne into joining the team again, but it was useless and it resulted in the two of them not speaking for a while.

I still haven't heard from anyone in my family and I was too pissed off to borrow Antigone and send letters of my own. I bet she'd ignore me or something because of Ziggy's behaviour on the train ride to Hogwarts.

After Jonathan's little outburst in the Great Hall, Ash told us she broke up with him on the train. Dom turned Ash's hair green for an hour or so for not telling us the moment it happened but I didn't think it was such a big deal. Jonathan was boring anyway. Two years of him were two years too many. I had no idea how Ash managed to stay that long with him.

I was rummaging through my trunk, looking for the gloves Ethan gave me before I went down to the Pitch for the try-outs while Dom and Ash sat on my bed with Ziggy throwing them dirty looks because that was his spot. The rest of our dorm mates were in one of the other Seventh Year girls' dormitories preparing to listen to the live broadcast on the WWN of my parents' anniversary match. They all thought it was romantic. I wanted to gag when they asked me to join them. Maybe fucking Ravi Patel will give me a fucking play-by-play in a fucking letter. Or maybe I'll just read about it in _Quidditch Weekly_.

Dom played with my Beater's bat, turning it over and even acting as if it was a sword, battling an imaginary enemy on my bed, "What's got your wand in a knot, Quinnie?"

Momentarily looking up from my trunk I glared at her, "Stop calling me Quinnie, I'm not a pet. And nothing's got my wand in a knot, what are you talking about?" I sure as hell had no desire to discuss my family with the two of them. My problems were my own.

Dom pointed the bat at me, "You're very touchy!"

"I'm always touchy when people harass me for no good reason, what's your point?"

"Come off it, Quinn!" Ash interjected in an annoyed voice, "We're not harassing you, we just want to know what's wrong! You never tell us anything."

I threw out a book about flying carpets, which I wasn't even aware I owned and snatched the gloves that were hiding under it. "Nothing is wrong. Why the sudden interest?"

Ash stared at me, "You're acting like, I don't know, someone murdered Ziggy." As she said that, Ziggy suspiciously looked at her and hissed, backing away. Dom opened a Chocolate Frog and frowned, the card was easily recognisable as that of James' dad and she already had a bunch of those.

I smiled at her, "Another one for the collection?" We always joked that Dom probably had the biggest collection of Harry Potter Chocolate Frog Cards. It was weird how often she found them because they weren't common.

Dom grinned as she put the card in her bag, "It's a curse! Maybe I could make it –"

"Stop trying to change the subject, Quinn!" Ash said and got up from the bed in order to stand in front of me.

"How many times do I have to say that everything is fine before you leave me be?" I took the bat from Dom while she rolled her eyes at me, grabbed the Stormwind and stepped around Ash who was frowning, making my way out of the dorm.

"Fine, be like that! Don't expect us to actually want to listen –" I didn't hear the rest of Ash's sentence because I was already halfway down the winding staircase.

For a fleeting second, I felt a tiny bit bad that I brushed them off but the feeling passed quickly. We were never the type of friends to talk about real problems. Well, I wasn't the type to do that. Letting myself look weak was reserved for James because he was probably the one person in the world who was always there, even when I didn't want him to be, like the anniversary of my grandmother's death.

Dom and Ash didn't have issues with trying to talk to me about things they knew I didn't care about. It usually ended with me blurting out the most ridiculous way to solve a problem according to them, like hexing someone or drinking until the problem goes away, and then I end up being free to go because my problem-solving skills were useless. Apparently.

I was the last to arrive at the Quidditch Pitch, glad to see that a crowd had gathered. James and Fred were near the locker rooms, squinting up at the cloudy sky.

"Quite a crowd, Captain," I said and James looked at the students gathered on the Pitch with a frown. "You have a plan?"

"Yes, but I'm sure you have some ideas of your own."

"Well, I thought I'd use them for target practice," I replied with a grin that didn't quite reach my eyes, "Whoever's left standing makes the team?"

"You're too sociopathic to ever be a Quidditch Captain, Quinn," said Fred.

I rolled my eyes at him, "You're wrong. I only lack leadership qualities, meaning I get bloody mad when people don't do what I tell them to do and how I tell them to do it. So I might hit them with my bat at times. That's why I wouldn't be a good Captain," I looked at James who was scribbling some notes in this little black notebook he used for Quidditch, "How do you do it, James?"

He looked up and smiled, "I've put up with you for seven years, didn't I? So I can deal with a bunch of Quidditch players alright." He put away the notebook, messed up his hair and started walking towards the crowd, Fred and I following behind him, carrying the case with the balls.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean? That I don't listen to you?" I yelled after him. James stopped and turned around, which caused Fred and me to almost bump into him. "When have you ever listened to me? You just fly off to the Pitch, yell at the other Beater to do things your way and take risky moves that might kill you. Or anyone else on the Pitch. And then we win."

I wiggled my eyebrows and bit my bottom lip, "So, what you mean to say is I'm your hotshot problem Beater?"

He smirked, "Yes. But I wouldn't have it any other way," and with that he walked away, yelling at the crowd to form groups according to the position they were trying out.

There were two groups trying out for Seeker, little Potter among them, her red hair impossible to miss, only one group for Beater, which did not make me hopeful, three groups for Chaser and two for Keeper. Except for Lily, I recognised one of the Scamander twins trying out for the Beater position, his blonde hair unmistakeable in Gryffindor crimson, but I wasn't sure which one was it. Most likely Lysander because Lorcan was the current Quidditch commentator and never showed any interest in actually playing. There was also a sixth year trying out for Keeper that I vaguely remembered as having instigated a fight with the Ravenclaws during our last match the year before. I think he watched one too many football hooligan movies.

Just from the flying exercises James gave them, I could see Lily was going to win the Seeker position. Only her and two boys whose names I didn't know flew well enough to even be considered for the team. And Lily was a lot faster than the two boys.

"Merlin, I'll have to deal with Lily on the team, too?" I groaned.

Fred cocked his head to the side as Lily did a turn, "What's wrong with my cousin?" he asked.

I lightly punched him in the arm for pretending to be stupid when we both knew he wasn't, "She hates me, Fred."

"Lily doesn't hate you," said James as he appeared next to us, casually putting his arm on my shoulder and basically using me as an armrest while he observed the groups of Chasers flying around the Pitch.

"If she doesn't hate me then she strongly dislikes me."

"Lily dislikes a lot of people, you know that. And, she's only being protective of Al."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response. But she's a great flyer, so at least there's that."

James only chuckled and motioned for Fred and me to follow him. We stood in front of the would-be Quidditch players as James pointed to the ones that were staying for another round of try-outs. Some disgruntled looks and comments later, we were left with two people trying out for Seeker, Keeper and Beater, and five trying out for Chaser.

"Lily and Amir, I'm going to release the Snitch. Whoever catches it gets the position, understood?" James asked and opened the case with the balls. Both Lily and Amir nodded their heads and mounted their brooms, prepared to take flight as soon as James released the Snitch. James turned towards the five Chasers.

"Chasers, there's five of you so first I want to see all of you in the air, passing the Quaffle, scoring some goals against Fred and dodging Bludgers. Then I'll choose the two who make the best passes and you'll play for a bit with Fred and me to see how we fit together. We'll choose the Keeper last. Whoever saves the most penalties will be the new Keeper."

James nodded in my direction and I put on my devious grin, trying my best to channel grandad, "Wannabe Beaters!" I yelled and both of them stood to attention like they were in the Muggle military, Lysander was particularly silly because he actually saluted me, which I can't say I didn't like, "You're with me. Let's see what you're made of!"

I mounted the Stormwind, shaking off the apprehensive feeling I got as I remembered the last time I flew and motioned for Lysander and the other guy to follow me. Everyone else was already in the air, doing the things James told them to do. I charmed the Bludgers to follow us until I explained what I wanted the two hopefuls to do. I turned to face them.

"I'll release the Bludgers soon. You two should play as you would in a regular game and I'll observe. Whoever manages to hit someone so they fall off their broom first, gets to try-out with me!" I yelled so they could hear me over the wind that started blowing, strands of my hair getting in my eyes. Lysander had a determined look but the other guy was frowning.

"Isn't that dangerous?" he asked.

"Yes, it is! Is there a point to this nonsense or do you just like to ask stupid questions? You want to be a fucking Beater on our team? Then bloody knock someone off their broom! Go!" For asking that question alone, I could've easily eliminated him from the try-outs but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he'd surprise me.

I floated above the Pitch, watching Lysander take surprisingly precise shots at the Chasers and Seekers who were trying out. It was a smart tactic, to target them instead of James and Fred. There was obviously a much higher chance that he'd manage to knock one of them from their broom. The other guy, unfortunately, wasn't as smart but his hits were more powerful.

James flew up and hovered next to me, "What did you tell them? Lysander seems determined to kill someone." He squinted in my direction, raising his hand to block out the sun that peeked out from behind the clouds.

I shrugged my shoulders, "First one to knock someone off a broom wins."

He smirked at me and did a flip so he was flying upside down above me, "I like the way you think."

"But…Lysander is better. We don't need a Beater who only counts on his physical strength. That's stupid thinking."

After doing another flip to right himself, James looked me in the eyes and stared at me with a piercing gaze. He flew closer, not saying a word and covered the hand that was gripping the handle of my broom with his own. I didn't even notice I was gripping the handle so hard that my hand now ached. I relaxed under his touch and closed my eyes.

"I…" I started to say something and drifted off, not knowing what I wanted to say. All the anger from being ignored by my parents and even grandad and Ethan, along with the lingering shock of being on a broom again was starting to become too much for me.

James squeezed my hand softly and whispered, "It's okay, Quinn." I opened my eyes to find his face so close to mine that I could count his eyelashes if I wanted to. I inhaled sharply, filling my lungs with the fresh air, not releasing the breath, but holding it in and still looking at James. Somehow, he managed to manoeuvre himself into a position so he could hug me and I was ensnared in his familiar scent.

He knew when I needed him and he didn't need me to tell him anything. He didn't need to ask me if I was fine.

"I'll always be here, you know that, right? Fuck fear, yeah? But I –"

The clouds obscured the sun once again and I moved away from James, balancing on the Stormwind and grinning at him, "I'm fine and yeah…it's okay."

But really, it wasn't okay.

I needed to toughen the fuck up and stop thinking so fucking much.

* * *

Lysander sent a Bludger flying towards one of the girls trying out for Chaser. She was just about to throw the Quaffle towards the hoops and couldn't see the Bludger coming her way. It was a good move since she was distracted and likely not holding too tight.

The Bludger hit her in the side while she took aim and knocked her over. I was sure she'd fall down but the girl managed to hold on for a second with only one hand, enough to still throw the Quaffle while hanging from her broom, score a goal on Fred and then start falling.

I whipped out my wand since I didn't actually have in mind that anyone should get hurt today, but I shouldn't have bothered. Fred was already being the hero and levitating the girl to the ground.

Looking at Lysander, I saw he had a huge grin on his face. I flew next to him. "Impressive. You've got the spot," I said and grinned back, "but, in the future, please try not to kill your own teammates. Though, people from opposing teams are fair game."

His face fell and he started to protest, "But you said –"

"Ah ah! The first rule of being on the team – don't contradict me! I know what I said. Now I'm saying this other thing. So keep up!" I winked at him and flew down to where James and Fred were gathered with the rest of the people trying out.

"You! The girl who fell but scored!" James yelled in the direction of the dark-haired girl with flushed cheeks and an enormous smile, looking proud of herself, "You're on the team! What's your name?"

"Wendy Nott," she replied, her eyes wide with surprise. So that was the girl Scorpius was talking about. She was fiddling with the hem of her sweater and I noticed her fingers were smudged with ink and yellow paint. A girl in the stands wearing Slytherin green cheered and charmed a couple of red sparks to fly out of her wand as James welcomed Wendy to the team. Wendy looked up and waved to the girl. The other Chasers looked disappointed but it was obvious that Wendy did something few of them would've even thought of to do, much less manage to do it.

I put one arm around Lysander and the other around Wendy, "I've got my new Beater! Wendy, please forgive him for almost murdering you," I winked at her and she flashed Lysander a smile.

"I can always hex him later, right Lysander?"

Fred came up to us, "There will be no hexing of teammates…and it's probably Quinn who told him to do that so it's actually her you want to hex." I threw him a threatening look and turned to face Wendy. She looked away and pretended she didn't hear anything Fred said. I already liked her.

We all looked up to see Lily and Amir still zooming about, looking for the Snitch. James rounded on the two Keepers. I noticed that the burly hooligan guy was doing something with his hands, a movement that seemed to help him calm down. The other Keeper didn't look nervous, she was busy eating an apple and staring at Fred, who ignored her. I recognised her as one of Crazy Julia's friends. I should've told Lysander to target her, but it would've been weird since the Keepers weren't in the air.

"You two, we'll do the penalty shots now," James said and motioned for the Keepers and the rest of the team to fly in front of the hoops.

Fred hovered next to me and pointed to the hooligan guy who was going to go first, "That's Seth Blackwood." I raised an eyebrow at him, "And I should know that name because…?"

"He's Sarah Blackwood's brother. I bet he's a great player!" Fred exclaimed and flew straight towards Seth to take the first shot. I hoped that the genes Seth shared with his sister, the Keeper for the Montrose Magpies, included Quidditch skills. The nervousness I witnessed wasn't giving me too much confidence in his abilities.

Fred feinted towards the right hoop, but changed direction at the last minute, aiming at the left one. Seth was either crazy fast or had the ability to bend space and time because he appeared in front of the left hoop and casually hit the Quaffle back with his outstretched leg.

James took the Quaffle and did the Woollongong Shimmy, zig-zagging at a high speed towards the goals. Seth stayed in front of the middle hoop and spread out his arm and leg, trying to do the Starfish and Stick, but James was suddenly above him and threw the Quaffle behind Seth, who almost managed to defend it but it was impossible to stretch that far back without falling off a broom. I could see that James was impressed even with the almost-defence.

It was Wendy's turn. She didn't try to do a fancy Quidditch tactic but charged straight for Seth who actually left the goal posts and kicked the ball from her arm, effectively keeping her from even trying to score. He smirked at Wendy's expletives. It was a risky move that paid off. It wouldn't work half as well in an actual match because there's always the danger of the opposing Chasers catching the kicked Quaffle but if the Keeper and his Chasers were coordinated enough it could be a great tactic.

Crazy Julia's friend was a disaster, to say the least. She seemed incapable of reading the Chasers and always went for the wrong hoop. We would've been royally fucked if it weren't for Seth and she was the only decent flier who tried out for Keeper.

Little Potter caught the Snitch, of course. I don't think anyone was surprised by that, even Amir looked happy for her.

After the spectators and the ones who didn't get a spot on the team left, James gave his welcoming speech in the locker rooms and gave the new members his playbook.

"You need to learn all these plays by the time we have next practice. Which is in two days. So…don't drink too much at tonight's party," James smirked at their groans, "Well, I think that the Gryffindor team will continue to be as glorious as it's been for the past few years. Don't disappoint me. Well, maybe I should've said don't disappoint Quinn, she's more inclined to do you bodily harm with her bat." Lily snorted at that and rolled her eyes. James gave her laps to run before she was free to go. The rest of us showered and walked back to the castle for lunch.

I climbed up the spiral staircase leading up to my dorm and just as I was about to open the door, I overheard Dom and Ash talking.

"Why do you think she's like that?"

"Well…Quinn's always been a tad off. I mean, you know what I'm talking about. I think she's just…coping with life in her own way."

"Sometimes I think she has no feelings."

I decided that I didn't really want to listen to this anymore or let them know I overheard them. I turned around and went back to the common room, out the portrait hole and back to the Pitch.

By the time it started to get dark, I felt drained of everything and only marginally hungry. I landed next to the lockers and dug out a Chocolate Frog from my discarded clothes. Dorcas Wellbeloved gave me a kind smile, beaming at me from the card. Crumpling the card, I threw it into the trash. The watch my parents gave me for my birthday said it was already past dinner. I put my Quidditch robes in the dirty laundry basket next to the lockers for the House Elves to clean them and jumped in one of the showers.

After I cleaned myself up and got dressed in my black jeans and T-shirt, I finally got back to my dorm. It was empty, as was much of the common room, only the younger students were still there and the occasional older one. The rest must've already left for the party in the Room of Requirement. James' dad probably regretted telling his children about it if he knew how it was being used nowadays.

I lay down on my bed and stared at the top of my four-poster. Stretching out my arm I grabbed Dom's wireless from her nightstand. I tuned it to the obscure station that only played Sons of Tyr. I found out about it at one of their concerts from another fan, who was the one who actually ran it.

Turning up the volume I drowned out the stupid, idiotic thoughts that were running through my head again.

When the song finished I got up, turned off the wireless and left the dorm. The corridors were empty. James and Fred must've bribed the Prefects to turn a blind eye. Or the Prefects were also at the party. I came to the corridor with the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and passed the Room three times. This morning James told me exactly what I needed to think in order for the Room to appear.

As the doors materialised in front of me, I heard faint music coming from behind them. I put my hand on the handle, but before I could open them, a couple came stumbling from inside. It was Dom, glued to Sean Murphy.

"Oh…Hey…Quinn…" She giggled and it was obvious that she already had a few drinks. Sean didn't say anything but he was wearing a smile that showed off his perfectly white teeth. I rolled my eyes at them.

"We…uh, missed you at dinner, the whole day –"

"I stayed behind after the try-outs, flying," I cut her off before she could go into a drunken explanation of how they were worried about me, but really, they weren't. I didn't have the patience to listen to it.

She frowned and I grinned at her, hoping it'll get her off my case. "Fun party?" I asked.

Dom giggled again and leaned into me, "Very fun! Al found himself a rebound…" She trailed off and Sean put an arm around her waist. "Come on Dom, you said you wanted to show me a broom closet…" They went off in search of the nearest broom closet, though a better idea would've been just going behind the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry.

For some reason, Dom's words stung me. Al finding someone so soon after I broke up with him was great. And yet, it wasn't because I thought he genuinely had feelings for me. I knew it was selfish of me to think that but I didn't care. I was selfish.

I entered the Room of Requirement which was packed with students from all Houses. The music was loud and a lot of people were dancing. Or jumping around. There was a crimson banner floating above the crowd welcoming the new members of our team and all the other décor was either red or gold or both. I spotted James with the rest of them next to the bar which was manned by Hugo Weasley. Lily was sneaking glances at Scorpius across the room, who was standing next to Jax and animatedly explaining something to him. There was a lot of waving about. Jax didn't really look interested, he actually had a rather gloomy look to him.

As I walked over to the team, someone bumped into me. I looked up to see who it was and my eyes locked with Al's emerald ones. He was dancing with a girl I didn't know, but when he realised who I was he stopped in his tracks. Suddenly, I was reaching out, leaning into him and moving my head next to his. "Nice rebound!" I yelled into his ear and gave him a quick peck on the jaw, in the spot I knew was his weakness, my hand trailing down his shoulder and back as I walked away. I felt his gaze following me. It made me feel a little better, knowing I still had an effect on him. My ego was an evil monster.

"Firewhisky," I said to Hugo and he handed me a glass with the amber liquid. I turned around to face the rest of the team, raising my glass in salute. They were all grinning wildly. I downed the Firewhisky in one go and asked for another.

"We're going to be glorious!" I yelled and all of them nodded, though I wasn't sure if they even heard me above the music. James stood next to me and sent me a questioning look. "Go, have fun!" I waved the team away and they were happy to oblige. I saw Wendy rush over to the Slytherin girl who cheered her on earlier today. The two of them snogged for a while and I winked at Wendy who saw me looking at them. She turned beet red and dragged the Slytherin girl to the dance floor instead. Blackwood and Lysander were trying to chat up two girls nearby but their lines were hilarious, though the girls didn't seem to mind. Lily was nowhere to be seen and neither was Scorpius. Fred was nursing a glass of Serpentgin next to James and staring at Jonathan who was, in turn, staring at Ash who was dancing in the middle of the dance floor with a couple of girls. There was a lot of staring.

"You were flying until now?" James yelled in my ear. I nodded and took a sip of the Firewhisky. He looked worried so I hugged him and yelled, "Stop worrying about me!" I backed away and beamed at him. He nervously messed up his hair, "Quinn, I –"

I finished the Firewhisky and took his hand, "Let's dance!" He let me lead the way and I also grabbed Lysander and Seth, ruining their chances and leaving two disgruntled girls behind. Fred trailed after us and soon we were jumping around like mad to the new Weird Sisters song. Well, Fred was mostly standing next to us pretending he didn't know us.

After a while I could feel the Firewhisky going to my head, I guess not eating the whole day was a bad idea. I waved to James and motioned for the part of the Room with armchairs and sofas. He waved back but was having too much fun to follow me. Lysander invented a very silly dance move that now both James and Seth were dancing with him along to. It involved Lysander tearing off an article of clothing every time they finished and started a new turn. By now he was in his jeans and his shirt was somewhere on the dance floor, mingling with remnants of alcohol. Fred was missing in action.

I saw Al sitting with the girl he was dancing earlier on one of the sofas, they were talking and generally looking cosy with each other. Once again, Al looked at me, but this time he gave me a wolfish grin. I smirked and walked over, sitting next to him. The girl frowned at me but said nothing. Taking the bottle of Dragonbreath from Al's hand I took a sip and rested my other hand on his knee. I could see his cheeks were flushed and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Hey," he murmured into my hair in a husky voice and put an arm around my shoulders, the girl sitting next to him seemingly forgotten. "You want to get out of here?" he asked and kissed my neck. His kiss made me tremble. It would've been easy to give in and just break the tension building between us. But a voice in my head that sounded unsurprisingly like Fred stopped me.

"I just wanted to see the rebound girl up close," I answered and gave him his drink back. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck in annoyance.

"Why the fuck are you so intent on torturing me? What…you can't help yourself so you just flirt with me and snog me and then expect me to forget about you? And when I try you fucking can't let me, what the fuck is wrong with you, Quinn? I'm in l–"

I stood up, "Don't say it, Al. I'm…fucked up, that's all. I'll leave you alone." I looked around, desperate to see a friendly face or at least someone who wasn't pissed with me. My eyes fell on Jax, sitting alone next to an open window. I made my way to him and sat down next to him, on the armrest.

"'lo Quinn," he said in almost a whisper. I could barely hear him. He was nursing a bottle of tequila which he offered to me and I gladly took it. Jax was staring out the window, the Forbidden Forest visible under the almost full moon.

"You seem oddly alone," I commented as I took a swig from the bottle and gave it back to him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Not really up for company. What about you? Isn't this supposed to be your party? And yet here you are, sitting alone with me."

"I was acting like an idiot so I'm avoiding the problem," I nodded my head towards Al who seemed to be arguing with the rebound girl.

Jax snorted, "What, Potter? He'll get over it." He finished the bottle and put it on the window sill. "Did you know it's my birthday today?" he asked and I raised my eyebrows.

"No…or if I did, I forgot, sorry."

He rolled his eyes and tried grinning but failed, "Don't worry, you're not the only one. My parents forgot…again."

Oh. That explained his depressed state.

I kissed him on the cheek, "Happy birthday, Jax." He smiled at me and put his hand at the nape of my neck, crashing his lips to mine. I slid down and ended up in his lap, his tongue playing with my own. I backed away slightly and saw he was still looking depressed.

"Hey," he looked into my eyes and I gave him a sideways smile, "Fuck family."

Jax nodded, "Yeah, fuck family indeed. Want to dance?"

I shook my head, "Nah, let's just sit here, drink and stare off into space. I'm in that kind of mood."

"Sounds about right."


	7. Chapter 7

By the time almost everyone else was either gone to their dormitories or sleeping in the Room of Requirement, I was still sitting in the armchair, staring out the open window. Jax was sprawled on the sofa nearby, sleeping, his arm clutching the half-empty tequila bottle.

Painfully sobered up, I felt incredibly alone in a room filled with people, even before the party ended. My thoughts alternated between the fucked up way I acted with Al and the fucked up way my family acted with everything, but mostly me. It was driving me crazy, attempting to find an excuse for my own behaviour, while I fully knew there wasn't one.

Trying to make myself feel better by flirting with Al and almost hooking up with him again was not how I planned to spend the party and making myself feel better was certainly not a good enough excuse. I sighed and closed my eyes, drowning out the guilty thoughts, banishing them from my head.

The armchair sagged under the weight of James sitting next to me. It was too small for both of us so I brought my knees up, hugged them to myself and half sat in James' lap. He didn't hug me. He wasn't saying anything, either.

"So…you saw what…what happened," I muttered in a low voice, not looking him in the eyes, but fixing my gaze on the almost full moon visible above the Forbidden Forest.

"Er…Yeah... I think Al will be fine. Just…just don't lead him on anymore," James sighed and dropped his head on the back of the armchair, looking up at the vaulted ceiling.

I let out a groan of frustration, my hands fiddling with a rip in my jeans, "He won't," James straightened up his head and we finally looked each other in the eyes, "He started to say he's fucking in love with me before I stopped him. He's bloody mental. Love…what's it good for? And we were only together for two months, he doesn't know what he's saying…Merlin…," I continued my rant but James didn't nod or agree with me. His brows were furrowed and he had an uneasy look on his face.

"What?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, putting an arm around me and drawing me closer to him, my head fitting into the crook of his neck. "I fucked up," I whispered and looked up at him. "You're the queen of fuckups," he said in a strained voice as if he was battling with himself. He then buried his head in my hair, his lips accidentally brushing against my neck, in the spot where just hours ago his brother kissed me. It felt like a jolt of electricity ran through me and I jerked away, managing to fall from the armchair on the plushy red carpet. James looked at me in alarm but soon burst out laughing at my crumpled form.

I joined in half-heartedly, my thoughts swimming with confusion at the way I reacted. Maybe I wasn't as sober as I thought I was. And the flirting with Al, the kiss, then Jax, it all must've left me fired up. That's what it was.

Glad that James didn't seem to have noticed what actually happened, I leaned against the armchair, running my hands through the carpet with closed eyes. I wasn't about to go back to the armchair in case my body had any other funny ideas.

"You could tell him you're sorry," said James. I knew him well enough that I could recognise the tone of his voice, resigned to the fact that I probably wouldn't listen to his advice.

"I thought I'd just ignore the problem and hope it disappears."

James laughed softly, shaking his head, "You almost never do that, though."

"He's right, one could say you usually crash into the problem and things explode," a voice I haven't heard since the beginning of term said. There was a faint smell of gunpowder and as I looked up at the person who joined us, I was met with the sight of Rose Weasley sporting a black eye, her eyebrows looking singed, her red tie burned off at the end.

She sat down on the table, making a couple of glasses fall down and looked around, her eyes landing on Seth who was snoring on the floor nearby, cuddled around Lysander's discarded clothing. Rose frowned and sighed.

Raising his eyebrows, James asked, "What the fuck happened to you?"

"This git," she aggressively kicked Seth with her leg but he didn't show any sign that he felt it, "passed out while we were trying to set off the Gryffindor fireworks I spent the better part of summer inventing…and poked me in the eye with his wand, except it wasn't his wand, it was a fake one and anyway…I tried to hex him but I couldn't see properly and set myself on fire accidentally." She blushed furiously, though whether from anger or something else, I couldn't tell.

"That's bizarre, even for you," I mumbled, not really paying attention because James started playing with my hair and his fingers kept lightly brushing against my neck, distracting me. I thought he would've been angrier at my behaviour, but I wasn't about to complain.

Rose's singed eyebrows shot up as Seth yelled in his sleep ('I'll kill you!'). She turned her head back to us and asked, "Hey, did you hear about your parents' match?"

I rolled my eyes, "No."

"I think you really should –"

"I'm going back to the dorm," I said as I stood up and Rose stopped talking, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "Come with me?" I asked James, "With my luck, I'm likely to bump into North as soon as I leave the room."

He smirked at me, "Well…I'm always here to help a damsel in distress…OUCH!" I playfully hit him in the shoulder, making him pout at me, but he still took out his dad's cloak and we set off towards the Gryffindor Tower.

As we drew near the Fat Lady's portrait, James draped an arm around my waist to stop me from walking around the corner. He stuffed the Marauder's Map inside his pocket and whispered in my ear, "North coming," James moved forward, flattening me against the wall and leaning against me, his breath tingling on my bare skin. I could hear Professor North's footsteps coming closer and closer, until he walked past us in the corridor, so close that if James moved an inch, he would've bumped into us. My heart was beating hard and fast and for a moment I thought it beat so loud that North might hear it.

Looking up, I saw that James had a devilish smirk on his face that made him look like he was on the brink of doing something Peeves would approve of. "Why are you smirking like that?" I whispered, peering around him to see if North has left the corridor, but he was still walking slowly, nearing the turn towards the Grand Staircase. In the darkness, I couldn't really see it, but I had a faint idea that James blushed, the occurrence of which was so rare that I wondered what in Merlin's name was going through his head. Sometimes I wished I was a Legilimens.

"No reason," he replied in a slightly husky voice, interrupting my thoughts about how being skilled in Legilimency would also be beneficial when taking N.E.W.T.s.

He was still close enough to make me feel light-headed from the Firewhisky emanating from him in delicious waves. Putting my hand on his chest to steady myself, I could feel the thumping of his heart echoing my own, almost as if the two were the same. James looked down at my outstretched hand and covered it with his, a deep frown forming on his face. He let out a breath and let me go, turning his head to see if North was gone.

"Let's go," he murmured, breaking me out of my daze and starting to walk towards the portrait hole. I followed in silence.

The common room was empty, the fire was slowly dying down, only a couple of candles were lighting the room. At the foot of the stairs leading up to the dorms, James reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping me from climbing the stairs, "Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Fix it," he said, a small smile turning his lips upward, "With Al…and Ash and Dom."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "What did the two of them tell you?"

James shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes at me, "Nothing. But you have a tendency towards lashing out and they were only trying to be your friends. You can let them do that sometimes, you know?"

The pangs of guilt that I temporarily stashed away somewhere in a nice drawer in my brain crept up again. I leaned on the stone wall, letting the cold penetrate through my clothes, not looking at James but staring off into the dying embers of the fire. He came closer and nudged my shoulder.

"I hate it when you're right," I said, but my anger from earlier seemed to have faded away, or maybe I became numb to it.

"Liar," James said in a teasing tone, smirking at me, "You're physically incapable of hating anything that I do."

I shook my head at him, struggling to keep a straight face, but I couldn't stop the slight smile that made its way to my face as I started to climb the stairs towards my dorm.

Ziggy was sleeping at the foot of my bed and Ash was sitting next to him in her blue dressing gown, stroking his grey fur. I had a feeling she was waiting for me. I could see Dom curled up in her bed, occasionally muttering something in her sleep. The rest of the beds had the curtains drawn over them. Ash heard me enter and turned towards me but didn't say anything. I sat down next to her and promptly sprawled myself across the bed.

"I'm –" I started, but Ash interrupted me. "I know you want to say you're sorry because James guilted you into it," she said, her voice low but harsh, her words not entirely wrong.

"But –"

"No, listen to me," Ash continued, not giving me the chance to explain, "You're bloody hard to be friends with but I know that. Dom knows it, hell, everyone knows it. And we've accepted it. And sometimes we pry because we're your friends. Can't be helped. So you're either going to have to accept that we're going to keep bothering you from time to time or…," she trailed off and looked at me. At that moment, I realised for the first time that besides James, besides grandad and Ethan, there were people who actually cared about me, for reasons I couldn't understand because I sure as hell wouldn't care about someone who acted like I've been acting.

"Why?" I asked in a small voice.

"What do you mean why? You might be trying to fool everyone and yourself into thinking you don't have a heart but you're also the person who broke Ridley's nose with your bat knowing you'll risk expulsion after Dom told us what he tried to do," she stood up as she said this and leaned over me slightly so I couldn't avoid her gaze, "Heartless people don't do that."

She went to her own bed and closed the curtains around her, leaving me to stare at the top of my four-poster, thinking about her words. My thoughts drifted off to James, to the night before we went to The Howler, to how he said something similar and then, and then I remembered the feeling of him being close to me, of how I couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes and chased the thoughts away, cleared my head and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I missed breakfast the next morning, sleeping late and waking up in time for lunch. I was ravenous because in the past twenty-four hours the only things that sustained me were alcohol and one Chocolate Frog. I would definitely not recommend my lifestyle choices.

When I entered the Great Hall, the charmed sky dark and full of stormy clouds, the whispers and stares followed me all the way to the Gryffindor table where most of my friends were sitting, apart from the rest of the table. I cocked an eyebrow at a third year in passing who was pointing at me, making him go beet red and bury his head behind a book, his eyes still following my every move. I wasn't unfamiliar with the occasional gossip but this was unusual even for me.

With narrowed eyes, I sat down next to Dom, who looked very green in the face and the food on her plate was mostly uneaten. She was nursing a cup of chamomile tea and holding her head in her hands, occasionally letting out a groan. James and Fred were whispering to one another, I could definitely hear Fred saying 'Slytherin' and 'Al' at one point, with both of them glancing at the Slytherin table. Ash was scribbling something in her notebook, not even looking up when I came over.

I piled a generous amount of food on my plate and started eating, eyeing the people around me with suspicion.

"Why the fuck," I started before taking another bite and continued, "is everyone staring at me and whispering?"

I only got a groan from Dom in response, but Rose dropped into the seat next to me and smirked, "Well, you really should've let me tell you last night," she said and shrugged her shoulders, then started rummaging around in her bag, looking for something until she finally took out a copy of the previous night's _Evening Prophet_. "You might want to read this," she said as she slid the paper next to my plate. James and Fred stopped whispering and even Ash looked over with interest, pausing her scribbling, tapping her quill on her lips. Apparently, none of them except Rose have read the paper last night.

I grabbed the paper and turned it over, only to be met with a front cover filled with a huge photograph of a Quidditch match with three players involved in some sort of a scuffle. It was difficult to discern what was happening because the photograph was quite blurry and there were spectators moving in front of the camera. My eyes darted toward the title and I felt a cold fury spreading through me. I turned the pages to get to the article and started reading it out loud.

QUIDDITCH MATCH MAYHEM – JONES TO BLAME

 _If tonight is anything to judge by, we might be witnessing a very public (and ugly) divorce between two star Quidditch players, Dylan and Ivy Jones, and quite possibly their forced retirement, writes Rita Skeeter. The handsome captain of the Appleby Arrows, Ivan Orlov, world-class Keeper rumoured to be the next in line to play for Russia, has had his heart broken by his Seeker, according to confidential sources close to the Jones family, which has caused him to temporarily lose his mind and take matters into his own hands after Dylan Jones, the chaser for Ballycastle Bats, scored his tenth goal of the match against the Arrows. Orlov, convinced that his Seeker not only broke his heart but also sold out his team's secrets to her husband (see more about these allegations on page 9), attacked Dylan Jones with a bat he took from Ashley Grimes, one of the Arrows' Beaters. Ivy Jones joined the fray and had to be physically restrained by three SecuriWizards before she let go of Orlov who was promptly shipped off to St Mungo's due to the peculiar nature of his injuries resulting from combined curses sent from both Ivy and Dylan Jones. The husband and wife were seen bickering shortly after and we can only presume that Dylan's hushed up, but still widely known, affair and this new development between Ivy and Ivan Orlov will only result in divorce._

 _The Jones family is well known for their scandals and troublemaking so this news should come as no surprise. The head of the family, Ian Jones, who was recently rumoured to have arranged the murder of Selene Zhang, the former chief designer at Vulcan's Fire, was watching the tonight's match unfold. He has apparently decided to dispel the rumours about him trying to murder Selene Zhang by having her accompany him to the match. Selene Zhang, who, as our confidential source tells us, is actually his lover, which is in and of itself scandalous as she is the daughter of the deceased Jessica Zhang, a former Tornados player who Ian Jones coached. He has known Selene since her childhood and we can only guess at how, and when, this love affair started. As our readers will remember, Ian Jones was also accused of fixing matches, and even though those accusations were dismissed, one can wonder whether the dismissal was the result of truth or threats, as Ian Jones has at his disposal his Hit Wizard alcoholic grandson, Ethan Jones, who was mysteriously missing from tonight's match, to do his dirty work._

 _Quinn Jones, the youngest member of the Jones family, was also missing from tonight's match but she is certainly following in her mother's footsteps. As confirmed by numerous sources, Quinn Jones leaves a trail of broken hearts in her wake, and the latest in her series of conquests is none other than James Sirius Potter, the son of Harry Potter._

"What the bloody fuck?" James yelled and I looked up from the article to see his angry face looking murderous, "Give me that!" he said and snatched the paper from my hands, continuing to read.

 _The two were seen together in the popular wizarding nightclub The Howler, but it seems that James Potter wasn't enough to satiate Quinn as she was seen tangled with a mysterious man, obviously older than her, in front of James who looked as if he was contemplating murder due to heartache._

 _We can only hope that in the future, the son of the Boy Who Lived will choose more wisely._

I stared blankly at James and the rest of my friends, lost for words. Fred was looking at the paper, "Merlin, James, you look hilarious in this photograph, quite ready for murder!" He grinned at James who sharply looked down at the photograph Fred was pointing to. I leaned over the table to catch a glimpse of it and there he was, James looking angrier than I've ever seen him, seemingly arguing about something with Fred though he was looking away from him. The next picture was of Logan and I outside the club, just before Logan Apparated us to his flat.

James made a grimace that I think was supposed to be a smile, "Did you drink so much that night that you forgot we argued about whether Firewhisky was better than Serpentgin, Freddie?" He shook his head and looked at Fred in the eyes, waiting for him to say something. Fred frowned, scratching his chin, looking like he was thinking about something but then he exclaimed, "Oh yeah, yeah…You're right! I did forget, Merlin, you and your Firewhisky, how can you even –"

"Oh stop it, Fred, you're not going to start that up again, are you?" said Ash, a deep frown on her face, watching me stare at the _Prophet_. I was stunned and I had no idea what to say to them. It was Rita Skeeter, and obviously, I couldn't believe anything that came out of her quill, but the fact that all this happened and I still had no owl from anyone was troubling me. Rose gently took the paper from me and stashed it back in her bag.

I looked up and James' eyes found my own. He winked at me and gave a huge grin, "Well, now we know that Rita Skeeter really does make up everything she writes."

For a moment I wondered whether my whole family has gone fucking mental and nobody bothered to tell me.

Dom finally raised her head and muttered, "Poor Al, he doesn't even feature."

We all started to laugh at that, even though, in the back of my mind, the words I just read kept playing over and over.

Back in the common room, James, Fred and I sat down in our favourite armchairs next to the fireplace to do our Transfiguration homework, with Ash sitting next to us, still scribbling in her notebook, her homework neatly rolled up and sealed. As I started to write the essay Cavendish assigned us (' _Discuss the potential issues arising from human transfiguration and how they can be avoided_ '), I caught myself still thinking about that bloody article.

"James?" I asked and he looked up from his essay, ink dripping from his quill on the parchment. "Can I borrow Antigone?"

James raised an eyebrow, a confused look on his face, "You're actually asking me? Who are you and what have you done with Quinn?"

"What?"

He snickered at that, "You usually just take her. Oh hell, you're not still thinking about that garbage Skeeter wrote, are you?"

I tore off a piece of parchment and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm going to send a letter to grandad to see what the fuck is going on and why I'm finding out my parents caused an incident at a Quidditch match from the fucking _Prophet_."

Dipping my quill into the ink bottle, I composed the shortest letter I've ever written.

 _Dear grandad,_

 _What the fuck?_

 _Love, Quinn_


	8. Chapter 8

I got up from the armchair, grabbed the letter I just wrote and headed towards the portrait hole, intent on finally getting some answers from grandad. I just hoped he'd actually answer my letter. Contemplating if I should've also written to Ethan, I decided against it. If he was still on a mission, it was doubtful he'd be reachable.

James and Fred got up and started following me as I neared the portrait hole, clutching the bit of parchment in my hand.

"Where are the two of you going?" asked Ash, cocking an eyebrow at them.

Fred gave her a sly grin, "We have some…business to attend to." James started chortling at that and he winked at me before they went out the portrait hole. We walked together down the staircase in silence, James occasionally checking the Marauder's Map, but as we came to the fourth floor, they continued down the stairs, waving at me while I made my way through the corridors towards the West Tower and the Owlery.

The castle seemed deserted as I walked through the empty corridors and climbed the tower. It seemed a lot of people were lounging outside, catching the last bits of sunlight and relatively warm weather before autumn rolled around with the usual heavy rains and cold winds.

My mind was filled with thoughts about the fucking article, but, as I climbed higher and higher, I put those thoughts away, imagining what grandad's face would look like if he ever caught me believing anything written by Rita Skeeter. I would send this letter and not think about it until I got a response.

The Owlery was empty when I got there so I only had the owls for company, most of them asleep. I looked around to see if I could spot Antigone, hoping that she wasn't sleeping. I didn't have to look far because she was almost at eye-level with me, her yellow eyes looking at me expectantly. I took out some owl treats from my pocket and offered them to her. Antigone hooted happily as she flew over, landing on the empty perch next to me. She ate the treats and held out her leg so I could tie the letter. I stroked her feathery head and with another hoot, she flew away through one of the windows, soon becoming just a speck in the distance.

I leaned out the window opening and looked at the grounds below to see Dom, unmistakable for anyone else with her shimmering silver hair, walking towards Hagrid's hut, most likely to look in on Quickclaw. She must've been in better spirits than earlier if she was up for walking around instead of being buried in our dorm with all the curtains closed, which is what she was doing before I left the common room. Squinting, I could just make out Sean following behind her, looking somewhat like a lost puppy, carrying a bucket. I didn't think he realised what he got himself into when he decided to date Dom.

As I descended the stairs of the Owlery, I could hear someone coming up and after a while, I came face to face with Nicholas Osborne. He was taller than me but I was two steps higher. He sneered when he saw me and I felt the anger I always carried around for the bloody git bubbling up inside me, coupled heavily with all the bottled up feelings I usually kept well hidden in the depths of my mind.

"Well, if it isn't Quinn Jones! Your parents split up yet?" he asked and leaned on the wall, barring me from passing him, his haughty face splitting into a huge grin, obviously enjoying himself at having me cornered. What a fucking idiot.

My eyes turned to slits as I frowned at him, "Only fucking idiots read Rita Skeeter. You're her second biggest fan, right? Can't beat her own niece, sadly," I sighed and shook my head, "Isn't it hilarious your fanboying is yet another thing a girl does better than you?" I mocked him, fully appreciating how the ugly red colour spread out from his neck to his face. You could always rely on Osborne to be riled with a mere mention of a girl being better at something than him.

"No, then?" he continued, a repulsive leer forming on his face as he looked me over, "I'd have thought your mum would've been ditched for sure after getting it on with half her team…Can't blame the team, though, I wouldn't mind a piece of that –"

My hands formed into angry fists without me even realising until it was too late and I had already punched him with all the power I could muster and sent him sprawling down the last couple of stairs. I was furious but the audible crunch I heard when my fist connected with his face gave me little satisfaction. I suddenly appreciated my boxing sessions a lot more.

"What the fuck?" another voice yelled from the bottom of the stairs and I descended from the tower. Jax Wood was standing over Osborne with a curious expression on his face, leaning over Osborne, who was clutching his face and groaning, a jet of blood trickling down his shirt.

Jax looked up from Osborne to my smirking face and started to laugh, nearly doubling over and clutching his sides. When I remembered that we were standing in the middle of a corridor, I grabbed his hand and started to run, dragging him with me until we came to the tapestry of Ignatia Wildsmith. I pulled it aside and entered the secret passageway it was hiding, Jax following close behind me. We were both gasping for breath, though Jax was still laughing, apparently unable to stop himself.

"You," he started, slowly getting his laughter under control and looking at me in wonder, "You broke his nose!"

I shrugged my shoulders and frowned, "He bloody well deserved it. Wanker." Realising my fist hurt, I turned it over and saw that my knuckles were red with Osborne's blood. For a moment, I was tempted to smear it across my face, like a warrior coming out of a battle, but that would've been weird so I merely let it fall back and leaned against the wall.

"He's an arsehole. But won't he tell?" asked Jax, still grinning and running a hand through his dark blond hair, the action immediately reminding me of James. I smiled as I imagined the look on James' face when I tell him about my escapade.

"Quinn?"

I turned to look at Jax and rolled my eyes, "Naah, Osborne would never admit a girl broke his nose. Especially me," I said and a devilish grin spread across my face, "But he's seriously deluded if he thinks I'm going to keep that particular bit of information to myself."

Jax suddenly moved closer and took my bloody hand in his own, "You're something else, Quinn." He looked up from the hand he was holding and there was a hungry look in his dark blue eyes, a look I haven't really seen before, his face usually smirking or casually flirting.

He was quiet as he put his other hand around my neck, tangling his fingers in my hair, holding my head and leaning down, all the time looking into my eyes. With merely an inch between us, he stopped and I blinked, biting my lip, remembering last night, how I tried to comfort him and how we kissed, though it was only a casual kiss without any real meaning. Throwing reason and the fact that I've been steadily refusing him for a couple of years just because it was fun watching Jax Wood struggle with something, to the wind, my hands found their way into his hair and my lips found his own. It was all the incentive he needed as he pressed me against the wall, his hand finding the rim of my shirt and holding me around the waist, slowly teasing the exposed skin. My own hands ended up underneath his shirt, tracing his muscles, enjoying how he groaned when they found a particular spot.

His lips were rough as they kissed me, his stubble scratching my face, but I didn't mind. Right now, I needed rough, needed something different, needed someone who would take me as I was, do things just for fun without all the drama. Someone who wasn't Al.

Light spilt into the passage and Jax let out another groan at having been interrupted. A tiny girl, a first or second year by the looks of her, was blushing furiously and she ran away, leaving us in the semi-darkness once again. Jax leaned against the wall opposite, visibly flushed, staring at me.

"Come to Hogsmeade with me," he croaked, his voice sounding hoarse, and he had a smug look on his face, "It's the weekend after the next one."

A mischievous grin made its way to my face and I walked up to him. Standing on my toes so I could reach him, I put a hand on his chest as I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Hogsmeade? I do think I have other plans for that particular trip…" I drawled and kissed his neck, "But just imagine…" another kiss and he shuddered, my hand travelling lower down his chest, "What happens if we meet in another abandoned corridor…" He caught my hand and I moved away from him slightly, still grinning. The feeling of power I held over him was overwhelming and I couldn't look away from his tense face. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and walked away, looking at him over my shoulder, only to be met with a tortured look. He was going to have to stay in that passage for a little while.

I couldn't stop grinning during the whole trip back to the Gryffindor common room with the horrible article temporarily out of my mind. It wasn't Jax that made me happier than I've been lately, it was the way he looked at me, it was the fact that I liked feeling wanted, it was because I liked the way he kissed me. And hooking up with someone always made me feel better. Endorphins. It also helped that I managed to fucking break Osborne's nose.

As I climbed through the portrait hole, I heard laughter from the common room and when I looked up I saw a crowd around Fred who was telling them something. James was sitting in front of the fireplace, looking into the fire with a frown and Ash was sitting next to him, holding her face in her hands but also laughing.

I walked over to the two of them and sat down in one of the empty armchairs.

"What's with the crowd?" I asked, nodding my head in Fred's general direction.

James looked at me with an angry expression on his face, "What were you doing with Wood?" When he said this, Ash buried her head behind a book.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Were you stalking me on the Map?"

He blushed, "I…No! I was looking at it because Fred and I were going back here and then I saw Osborne stopped you so I just wanted to…" He trailed off, avoiding my gaze. I chuckled and smiled at him, "You're cute when you worry, but I swear to Merlin, you're worse than Ethan sometimes. And, eww, you made me say the word cute. Now I have to swear at someone just to feel like myself again!"

James shook his head but turned serious again, "So, what were you doing with Wood?" Ash was looking at both of us over her book and Fred joined us, leaning against the fireplace, the crowd he was in now dispersed throughout the common room, even though their laughter could still be heard.

I raised my eyebrows at James, "He asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him after I punched fucking Osborne and broke his nose," I raised my fist, turning it so the three of them could see the blood. Ash's book fell to the floor and her mouth was open, forming a perfect O. Fred started laughing, much like Jax did, but James just stared at the blood, looking livid.

"You broke his nose?" Ash asked in wonder, causing Fred to howl with laughter at the question. James stood up, and before I could answer, took my hand and stared at it.

"What the fuck," he started, in a voice so low I strained to hear him and he looked so very angry, "did he do to you?"

Noticing that other people were trying to listen to our conversation because Fred announced to the whole common room what happened, I shrugged, not wanting everyone to know how furious Osborne managed to make me, "Oh, he was…rude." James seemed to get the idea because he let go of me and sat back down, though he continued to stare at me.

Ash twirled a strand of hair around her finger and wiggled her eyebrows, "So…Wood asked you out?" Fred wolf-whistled and I rolled my eyes.

"He did."

"And? What did you say?" asked James, an even deeper frown forming on his face, "He's the enemy, you know."

"I don't remember you having objections when I shagged the Ravenclaw Beater last year –"

"That was different! He's not the –"

I raised my voice a little, stopping James from going into an anti-Jax campaign and glaring at him, "and anyway, I said I had other plans." This rivalry between him and Jax was all well and good on the Quidditch Pitch but lately, James seemed to have given a whole new meaning to the word rivalry.

"You shagged Wood? And you didn't tell me!" Dom shrieked from behind us, which meant that the whole common room heard her, causing another round of laughter and more gossip with numerous eyes peeled on me. I groaned as she sat down on the armrest next to me.

Fred looked very amused, "Wood asked her out, though I concur they might've shagged…But then again, I'd have thought Wood had a bit more stamina, Quinn wasn't gone all that long…" he trailed off and scratched his chin, presumably thinking about Jax and his shagging technique. An ink bottle that was on the table next to James' armchair cracked and the ink spilt all over the fluffy red carpet for no apparent reason. Ash waved her wand with a lazy flick and the ink disappeared. I looked around to see if anyone was practising spells nearby but there was no one. It must've been cracked already and came to its end date.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. Since when were you so interested in Jax, anyway?" I asked Fred but he didn't bother with an answer, he just laughed at me while Dom looked thoroughly disappointed.

Ziggy made his way towards the fireplace and settled himself in front of the fire, turning his back on us and pretending we weren't there. Fred crouched and tried to pet him, but Ziggy only hissed and moved away from him.

Ash picked up her book from the floor, trying to find the place where she stopped reading, but soon her eyes were on me again. "Wait…what plans for Hogsmeade? I thought you didn't want to go?"

"Well, yeah, I'm going to read and hang out with Ziggy. Those are plans," I answered as I scowled at her. She scowled back but Dom burst out laughing.

"Now that I think about it, I do need to buy food for Ziggy," at the mention of food Ziggy turned his head and looked at me with what he probably thought was his cute face, but it was actually the sort of scary and psychotic face he had when he caught a mouse or a gnome or something.

"But we've only been at school for a week, how could he have eaten all his food already?" asked Dom.

I looked at her and sighed, "It's almost like you don't even know Ziggy. He makes it his mission to first find out where I hid the box with his food, then he breaks into the box and gorges on the food." Ziggy huffed at that and walked away from us, waggling his fluffy tail.

"So, who is going to Hogsmeade with me?" I tried to look cute but from the look Fred gave me, I think I was as successful at that as Ziggy was.

James laughed at my pathetic attempt, "Fred and I can't." He started laughing again and I had no idea what was so funny. I looked to Fred who was snickering.

"Longbottom gave us detention for the next two weekends," he said and now Ash was laughing as well. It seemed only Dom and I didn't know what was going on.

"What? Why? What, in the seven hells, did you do?"

"Well, we decided that today was as good a day as any to do our traditional Slytherin prank –" James started.

"So Al let us in their common room –" said Fred.

"And we transfigured all the Slytherins' underwear into spiders –"

"Of course, not Al's –"

"And then all the spiders escaped the castle –"

"There was a lot of screaming –"

"And now the Slytherins are left without their unmentionables," James ended with a devilish grin.

"Really, we shouldn't have gotten detention," said Fred with a revolted shake of his head, "I think Cavendish ought to have awarded us at least twenty points!"

I was speechless for a few moments, just looking from one to the other until I started laughing and couldn't stop for a whole minute. There were tears in my eyes from laughter.

"Why the fuck didn't you use the invisibility cloak?" I asked after I calmed down.

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "We did. But in all the screaming and running, someone stepped on the cloak and it slid off just when North came into the common room to see what was going on."

Dom had a confused look on her face, "But why did Al let you in?" she asked.

"I bribed him," said James with a smirk.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I told him I'll bring him Quinn's knickers," he said, nodding his head and I nearly choked on a glass of water I was in the process of drinking.

I put the glass on the table and closed my eyes for a brief moment, "You…What?"

Fred was doubled over and in danger of falling on the floor, he was laughing so hard. James winked at me, "I'm just yanking your wand. He, uh, saw you snogging Jax last night so he wasn't opposed to little revenge…And I gave him ten Galleons."

I rolled my eyes at both of them and got up, "Right, sure. Tell Al that he should probably just look under his bed next time you want to bribe him."

"And what about the two of you?" I nodded to Ash and Dom who were both busy pretending they don't see or hear me. "Well?"

Dom turned scarlet and started playing with the silver dragon pendant her uncle Charlie gave her. "Well, I'm meeting Teddy."

"You're mental," I told her, "What are you and Teddy and Vic and Sean? A love rectangle? Is that even a thing?" Dom turned an even deeper shade of red and Ash laughed at my quip though I could see that Dom didn't really think it was that funny.

I nudged Ash with my leg and she rolled her eyes at me. "Nathan Wilde –" she started and Fred's eye twitched at her words.

"Oooh…He finally slithered in, didn't he?" I said with a knowing look. Ash placed a hand across her face and looked at me through a gap between her fingers with an exasperated look. "You tell really bad jokes, Quinn."

"What? He's a Slytherin and he slithered in. It's not like we all didn't know he fancied you. Who else would've continued being your Potions partner even after you blew up a cauldron in his face?" Fred looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself and Ash was still glaring at me. I shrugged my shoulders and made my way to the table where I left my Transfiguration essay. James and Fred joined me so we could all finish the damn thing. Fred poked a hole through the parchment while writing the title.

"You're such a bloody coward," I muttered as I scratched out a word. James stayed silent but Fred stopped writing.

"I'm a coward?" he asked.

"Yep," I answered, not looking up from my essay but taking out _A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration_ from my book bag to consult it, "Instead of twitching any time another bloke shows interest in Ash, why not just ask her out yourself?" After writing another sentence I finally looked up at him. "I'm not entirely ignorant. Though, if I could notice you're hung up on her, I'm sure Ash knew ages ago."

Fred didn't say anything, just dipped his quill into ink and continued writing the essay. James literally cackled and spattered most of his parchment with ink. I must've looked very confused because James stopped cackling and whispered in a conspiratorial tone, "They snogged at your birthday party," my eyes went wide at this revelation and I looked from Fred to Ash, throwing her disbelieving looks, "Ash doesn't remember, though. She was pissed that night," he continued and Fred rolled his eyes.

"Some cousin you are," he snapped and promptly poked another hole in his parchment.

"Come on, Quinn would've wheedled it out of me at some point after she finally caught up to the fact that –"

"Oh yeah? When do you think she'll catch up to the fact –" Fred started but stopped, and after looking at James, he just shook his head in frustration and stared at Ash instead with a scowling face. After a while, he went back to the essay, leaving me to temporarily wonder what the hell that was all about. James peered over my shoulder to see what I'd been checking in the book and I absentmindedly pushed it towards him so he could have a better look.

"Thanks," he said smiling at me and the moment our eyes met, I had the inexplicable urge to smile back, forgetting that I was slightly annoyed with him.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around the next day, everyone seemed to know that I broke Osborne's nose, mostly because I couldn't stop bragging about it, which obviously annoyed him and in turn, made me very happy. They also seemed to think I shagged Jax, courtesy of Dom's exclamation in front of the whole common room, and no amount of saying otherwise, which I didn't even bother with after the first two people asked, did anything to dissuade them.

The ceiling in the Great Hall showed the stormy clouds outside and the pouring rain. Quidditch practice this evening was bound to be rough in that weather. I sat down next to Ash and James, piling roast beef on my plate. Ash was reading _Witch Weekly_ propped up against her goblet filled with pumpkin juice. I threw a glance at the article but it was only about some new publishing house founded by a recent Hogwarts graduate, Ayesha Khan.

"Can you believe this?" I said and James looked up from his potatoes, "I overheard the Quigley twins in the loo saying I shagged Osborne and it was Jax who had his nose broken, and not by me, but by Osborne!" Ash snorted at that but didn't look up from the magazine.

James cocked an eyebrow, "Do they not know who you are?" he looked over his shoulder at the Hufflepuff table where the twins were talking animatedly and occasionally glancing at us. "You'd think the whole school would know about last year and the horn incident," he said. The incident in question involved me getting into the Restricted Section to do some research for an essay Cavendish gave us and trying out a random transfiguration spell on Osborne which made him grow horns that weren't removable by a spell. He had to walk around with them for a whole month before they disappeared. I like to think it was one of my brightest moments.

Ash rolled her eyes at James, "It's more fun for the story to be the way they tell it." I looked at her in disbelief.

"What?" she asked.

"What do you mean, more fun? Isn't it enough that I broke his nose? I call that fun!"

She took a sip of pumpkin juice before answering, "I sometimes wonder how you grew up…Both your parents are famous Quidditch stars and yet you still think violence is more interesting to people than sex. And enemies who shag is definitely more scandalous than Quinn Jones committing an act of violence. That's basically your everyday behaviour."

I stabbed a piece of meat, "Grandad doesn't subscribe to newspapers and he always told us journalists are all bloody tossers. I haven't really seen any evidence that would contradict him." I shrugged my shoulders and continued to eat while Ash rolled her eyes and muttered something to herself.

Lysander and Seth shuffled towards us from the end of the Gryffindor table looking forlorn and still hungover. They sat down and Seth laid his head on the table, groaning.

"Do we still have practice today? Even in this weather?" Lysander asked and promptly earned himself a whack on the head from me.

"Next time there's a party remember you're a lightweight," I said, scowling at him.

James had a dark look on his face, "You don't have practice only if you're lying in a hospital bed," he turned to me and smirked, "What do you think, Quinn? Ten laps around the Pitch?"

I pretended to think about it, "Ten? If that's what you say Captain…" I grinned wickedly, "Ten and he has to polish all the team's brooms after practice," I said, nodding my head seriously.

James cocked an eyebrow at Lysander and stared at his stricken face, "Well, you heard our resident Quidditch team disciplinarian. Better perk up by the time we have practice tonight or you might find yourself walking around with a broken nose and horns that don't come off."

Lysander got up looking dejected and walked towards the Entrance Hall, dragging his feet. Seth groaned again, "I'd rather take the horns," he said.

"That can be arranged," I told him brightly, twirling my wand which sent off some menacing red sparks in his general direction, "What's up with you anyway, Blackwood? You're definitely not a lightweight." He backed away from me, coming so close to Ash that he almost ended up sitting in her lap.

"Lost a bet," he grunted, "so I had to drink a bottle of Dragonbreath last night."

I exchanged an amused look with James and bit my tongue so I wouldn't start laughing. Rose mentioned a bet yesterday, though I was now sure whatever bet she proposed, she rigged it somehow so Seth would lose. She always liked to get revenge. As I caught sight of her at the Slytherin table with Hugo, I noticed she smirked each time she saw Seth rubbing his eyes or holding his head.

"If you don't show up for practice, I'm banning you from alcohol," said James and got up from the table, picking up his book bag, motioning for me to follow.

Seth looked at him, horror-struck, "What? You can't do that!"

James put his hand on Seth's shoulder, squeezing slightly and grinning at him, "I'm the bloody Captain. I can do anything."

While we walked towards Charms, and without anyone trying to listen in, I told James the whole story of why I punched Osborne.

"What a git," James muttered as we entered the Charms corridor.

We were met by Osborne and his friends in front of the classroom. His nose seemed like it was back to normal though it might've been a trick of the light or my imagination, but to me, it looked like it was slightly crooked. He made as if to pull out his wand, but James was a lot faster and before Osborne could do anything, with a flick of James' wand he was floating in the air upside down. His friends pulled out their wands and pointed them at us but the doors started to open and just before Flitwick opened them fully, James let Osborne fall down.

"You're going to regret this, Jones," Osborne hissed at me, but it was hard to take him seriously and not laugh at his words while he was sitting on the floor, his clothes and usually perfectly styled hair messed up. One of his friends helped him get up and as he passed me, he violently bumped into my shoulder, making me sway and almost fall. James steadied me and looked threateningly at Osborne with the same angry expression he wore last night. Osborne just smirked at him and sat down at one of the tables.

"You okay?" he asked as he held me, not letting go of my waist, and I nodded. I was tempted to just walk in there and throttle Osborne with my bare hands so it was lucky that James didn't let go of me. While I was quietly contemplating all the ways in which I could murder Osborne, Fred came running towards us, his robes billowing behind him.

"I'm not late!" he exclaimed in a disturbingly bright tone which made me scowl at him. He looked at us wonderingly and then his eyes passed over my head to see Osborne. "What did I miss?" he asked, but James and I only shook our heads as we entered the classroom and took our seats.

We were supposed to be practising the Protean charm and linking two parchments together to show the same message. I was still furious and all I managed to do was to make one of the parchments disintegrate instead.

"What do you want to do about Osborne?" asked James after he filled Fred in on what happened.

"Is murder on the table?" I muttered, "No? I'm out of ideas then. He doesn't actually deserve the brain power I'd need to think of something we haven't already done to him."

"At least we have Quidditch later," said Fred. Just as he said that thunder rumbled outside and heavy rain battered the windows.

I looked through the window at the muddy grounds and the Pitch in the distance, almost invisible through the rain, "Yeah, that's bound to be wonderful."

The only thing wonderful about Quidditch practice was that I could fully unleash my anger when hitting the Bludgers, though if they hit a target it was mostly on accident because I couldn't see much farther than my bat. Lysander kept almost colliding with me and his coordination was almost non-existent, but he pushed through it. James kept us in the air for two hours and by the time practice was over we were all soaked to the bone.

When we entered the locker rooms, I was shivering so badly that I had to pull off one of my gloves with my teeth. Nobody spoke and we all went to the showers in silence. The fiery water felt heavenly on my skin and I stayed in the shower for the longest time, letting the warmth spread through me until I could no longer take the heat. I turned off the water and wrapped a towel loosely around myself. I couldn't hear a sound so I assumed everyone had already left so I casually walked over to the lockers only in the towel.

James was sitting on the bench and his eyes went wide when he saw me, and again there was the unusual red tinge to his cheeks. "I…Why aren't you dressed?" he asked, averting his gaze to give me some privacy.

I opened the doors of my locker and stood behind it, taking off the towel and starting to dress myself behind it. "I thought I was alone," I said, my voice muffled by the shirt I was in the middle of pulling over my head. I looked over the doors to see him still pointedly looking in the opposite direction. "James, you've seen plenty of girls naked before, why are you making this into such a big deal? You haven't even actually seen anything!"

"Yeah, well, none of them were you," he croaked, his voice strangely raspy.

I closed the doors of my locker with a bang and rolled my eyes at him, "You're being silly." He took the hand I offered to help him get up, but instead of getting up he dragged me down, making me collapse on top of him.

"You should think twice before telling your Captain he's silly," said James, his eyes twinkling with mischief and I knew what was coming before he could make his move. I quickly jumped away and ran for it, "You're not tickling me again!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out of the locker rooms into the pouring rain, James running after me. It soon turned into a race and he actually beat me by mere inches in getting to the Entrance Hall.

We were soaked again but this time I wasn't even feeling the cold as James took my hand, both of us laughing, and he dragged me to the kitchens to grab some dinner.

"Quinn?" said James after finishing his chicken. I looked up from my food and raised my eyebrows. "Are you worried about the first match? This practice wasn't what I'd call successful –"

"Oh stop it, James, we're lucky we all didn't end up flying off to the mountains with the visibility the way it was. So just… I'm the best fucking Beater this school has and you're the best –"

A huge smirk spread across his face, "So…you think I'm the best?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I rolled my eyes at him and stayed silent, but a small smile crept up on my face.

"Yeah, well…don't let it go to your head."


	9. Chapter 9

Another week passed by and there was still no word from grandad, but luckily, there were also no new articles about my family. I wondered what the hell was going on that he couldn't be bothered to answer a letter, especially when he knew I'd get increasingly angrier with him the longer he put it off.

Osborne didn't make another move yet, which made me think he was planning something big, though I couldn't imagine what his sick mind would come up with. He avoided me, mostly because James took it upon himself to follow me everywhere since Osborne made his threat, which was both endearing and annoying. I could take care of myself and James knew it, and yet, it seemed he couldn't help himself. Ash and Dom were royally pissed at him because he wouldn't leave us alone, which meant he had to hear about their periods almost daily, not to mention the endless comparisons Dom made between Sean and Teddy. Their tactic wasn't successful because James often butted in their conversation in a weirdly interested way. I zoned out more often than not when Dom talked about the two of them, but not James. No, he had his own opinions on how to successfully steal Teddy away from Victoire and it seemed to me that he and Dom were on the verge of concocting a cunning plan worthy of Al and his Slytherin ways.

The Friday afternoon before the first Hogsmeade trip was reserved for our longest Quidditch practice yet. James wanted to try out some of the moves grandad suggested to him over the summer so he thought the usual two hours of practice wouldn't be enough.

"Is he mental?" Dom asked while I was once again looking for my Beater's gloves around the dorm. I had a sneaking suspicion Ziggy kept stealing and hiding them just for the heck of it. Or maybe he was just pure evil. Who knows.

I sat down on the floor and looked under my bed, but all I could see was a couple of socks I thought were lost forever and a hat I ditched there sometime last week in a bout of frustration over Potions homework. Looking up at Dom, I caught sight of Ziggy observing my efforts with a self-satisfied expression.

"Mental?"

Dom was sitting on her bed, writing a letter and sucking on the end of her quill. She frowned at me, "A four-hour practice? That doesn't sound mental to you?"

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow, "Have you met my grandad?"

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, "You're right, your grandad is mental." Dom dipped her quill into the ink bottle on her bedside table and continued to write her letter.

As I paused in the search for my gloves, I tried to sneak a glance at Dom's letter. It was very long and it was getting even longer, but Dom was doing her best to conceal the whole thing from me. Which was stupid on her part because I wouldn't have been interested in it had she not tried to be secretive about it. I threw one of the socks I found at her face.

"Who are you writing this ridiculously long letter? Is it Teddy? Or do you have another secret boyfriend that I don't know about?" I asked as she looked at the sock that was now covering her letter in disgust. She started playing with her dragon pendant, which was a sure sign that I've asked her something uncomfortable.

Dom sighed, "Yeah, it's for Teddy."

"Why the hell are you writing him a thousand-page letter if you're going to see him tomorrow in Hogsmeade?"

Still fiddling with her pendant, Dom avoided looking me in the eye so she settled on staring out the window. "It's complicated. We are meeting tomorrow, but it's just for a shag. I'll send the letter after he leaves."

Thoroughly surprised by her answer, I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively, "So tomorrow is just a booty call? I thought you were in love with him."

Dom twirled a strand of her silvery hair around her finger, not saying anything for a while. She wasn't usually this moody and, against my better judgement and my tendency to not meddle with people's love lives because I was terrible at it as much as I was usually disinterested in it, I decided to actually listen to her for once.

"You know I don't judge people based on who they're having sex with," I started and she finally looked at me, seemingly surprised that I would continue discussing her problems, "but you can pretty much fuck any bloke you wanted and you choose to have Teddy as your, what, fuck buddy? While he's in a relationship with your sister? It could've made sense if you were in love with him but I don't get it." I got up from the floor and sat on Dom's bed, next to her.

"I'm not…He's miserable with Victoire and we've been hooking up since last year, while they were still at Hogwarts. It's just…There's this…I can't even explain it but we can't keep our hands off each other when we're alone. And I always liked him. So maybe it is love. I don't even feel guilty about trying to steal my sister's boyfriend."

"Well, tell Teddy to make up his damn mind. What kind of a person stays with someone they feel miserable with? And then shag that person's sister for over a year?!" I practically yelled that last bit so Dom started shushing me in case there was anyone passing our dorm.

"That's what I wrote in the letter," she said and gave me a small smile, "only, in a lot more words. He doesn't want to hurt Victoire, you know how she gets. She'll most likely murder us both if she finds out."

"When she finds out. If he breaks up with her and the two of you get together, are you just going to hide? And how does Sean play into this whole thing? Why are you stringing him along?" I said, but I realised I probably shouldn't have. It would be better if I didn't know anything about this, but the damage was already done.

"Sean is…useful. So I use him and he doesn't know and he better not find out," Dom said, piercing me with her gaze. Fuck. Now that she told me all this, I would be better off if I never talked to Sean again because I will fuck up her secret. Maybe I should let her Obliviate me.

"I'm not going to intentionally tell him," I told her and she narrowed her eyes, "Okay, fine! I'll tell James to kick me if I start saying stupid things around Sean. He already thinks I'm not all there due to James telling him I got kicked in the head with a Bludger so people randomly kicking me when I start talking to him shouldn't come as too much of a surprise." She sympathetically patted me on the back and returned to her monster of a letter.

I was still looking for my Beater's gloves around the dorm when Ash walked in with an annoyed expression on her face. Her eyes fell on me and she rolled her eyes, "Accio Quinn's gloves!"

The gloves flew up from their hiding place in Ziggy's den and Ash caught them before throwing them over to me.

"Thanks," I said but she only sprawled over her bed and sighed loudly.

Dom looked up from her letter, "What's got your wand in a knot, Ash?"

Ash closed her eyes and pinched her nose, "Quinn's shadow is waiting downstairs. I swear to Godric, I'm going mad with him following us everywhere," she opened her eyes and sent me an annoyed look.

I shrugged, "I have no control over what James does." As I opened the door of our dorm Ash called out after me, "Oh please, we all know that's not true!" I decided to ignore her and left her with Dom.

James was indeed waiting for me at the foot of the stairs leading up to the girls' dormitory with an excited grin on his face. I punched him in the arm instead of returning his grin and practically ran to the portrait hole. He yelped in surprise but he soon caught up with me, halfway down the corridor leading to the passageway we usually take to the Entrance Hall.

"What was that for?" James asked, still rubbing his arm, faking that it was still hurting him.

I rolled my eyes, "Will you stop following me around? Dom and Ash are going crazy. Osborne hasn't tried anything for a week, I doubt he'll do something now. And even if he does, I can hex him or punch him or both perfectly well."

He ran his hand through his hair and smiled at me, "Okay, fine. But if he tries anything, can we please murder him?"

I grinned at him, "If you figure out a way to do it without the murder getting traced back to us, sure."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence as we walked through the castle, occasionally passing other students until we reached the outside. The sun was shining brightly, with a couple of clouds visible in the distance.

"It's good weather for Quidditch practice," I said and James nodded, the excited grin long gone. I stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, poking him in the shoulder.

He frowned, "Are you really not going to Hogsmeade tomorrow with Wood? Or did you just say that to get me off your back?"

I turned away from him and started walking towards the Pitch, clutching my Beater's bat and feeling like I could use it on James' face. He ran up to me.

"Will you stop harping on about Wood? There is literally nothing going on between us except some snogging, and even if there were, it's none of your business! And I never lied to you in all the years of our friendship so I'm not going to start over a supposed date with Jax!" I yelled at him, throwing my broom to the ground, but still clutching my bat, feeling incredibly angry at James for even thinking that I would lie to him, especially about something so stupid. We didn't keep secrets from each other.

The expression on James' face was one of bewilderment as if he couldn't grasp why I was getting so worked up which in turn made me even angrier. We just stood there, halfway between Hagrid's hut and the castle, staring at each other.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," he said in a low voice that I strained to hear, "Jax is –" he continued but I interrupted.

"He's no worse than you or me! You're starting to be worse than Ethan, for fuck's sake! First, it was Logan, then following me around because of Osborne and now this? When the fuck did I stop being Quinn Jones and became a fucking damsel in fucking distress?!" I shouted at him, words spilling from my mouth, words which I might not have meant seriously, but the stress of not knowing what the bloody hell was happening at home, of being ignored, and then of James not trusting me was too much. Once I started I couldn't stop myself. I saw that I hurt him and I didn't care. I knew he didn't mean it like what I took his words for but I needed to let out my anger and James was there. Grabbing my broom from the ground, I started to stomp towards the Quidditch Pitch, with James following me silently.

When we came to the Pitch, the rest of the team was already there, including the addition of Wendy's girlfriend in the stands. I narrowed my eyes at Wendy. She stopped talking with Fred and stared at me as I made my way over. "In case you didn't notice, Nott," I spat out, still irate from my fight with James, "this is a Gryffindor practice. So go up there and tell your girlfriend to go away before I have to curse her." My voice was pure acid and I momentarily felt disgusted at myself when I saw Wendy looking frightened as she walked towards the stands. Fred was looking at me as if I murdered somebody right in front of him.

"What?" I asked but he just shook his head and stayed silent. He knew there was no point in arguing with me when I was being angry and irrational. James, on the other hand, had a different way of dealing with me.

"Twenty laps around the Pitch!" he yelled at me, with the rest of the team following the staring contest that ensued with interest. James didn't back down, though, and I couldn't stand the look on his face, a mix of hurt and worry, so I turned away from him and started running.

"Fine!" I threw back over my shoulder, not bothering to cover up the anger in my voice. James didn't say anything, which was even worse than him yelling something back at me.

I was still fuming by the time I finished the laps and I couldn't wait until I was in the air, hitting Bludgers. I could have aimed them all at James but I wouldn't let my emotions ruin my practice. So for the next four hours, I taught Lysander some of the moves I perfected over my years of playing Quidditch. He was a surprisingly quick learner, though my foul mood probably made him think of what I could do to him if he failed. So we tortured the rest of our teammates with well-placed Bludgers for the rest of the practice. Seth was particularly skilled at dodging them, which was a nice surprise, but Lily was awful. For someone so slight, she should have been much harder to hit. James ordered her to work with Lysander and me in order for her to get better. It didn't end well.

We were almost at the end of our practice when Lysander hit the Bludger straight for Lily's outstretched arm while she was trying to catch the Snitch. She was supposed to dodge, and she did but did it badly. The Bludger hit her in the face and there was a crunch, followed by blood. James and Fred both rushed over, managing to get Lily on the ground between the two of them while Lysander looked on with a horrified expression on his face.

I flew over to him and patted him on the shoulder awkwardly, "Don't worry, James took an emergency Healing course." He didn't seem like that made him feel better and I rolled my eyes. "For Merlin's sake, if it were a member of the opposing team you'd be elated. Think of it as good target practice."

Lysander shook his head and there was an embarrassed smile on his face, "It's not that. I just don't think I'll be able to walk around the castle freely for some time because she's going to kill me." I burst out laughing at his retort and mussed up his hair. I knew what he told me wasn't the whole truth, but it was still hilarious.

We flew down to where everyone else was gathered around Lily. It got dark a while ago and the magical lights that shone down on us weren't quite enough for me to see the damage to Lily's face properly. James was waving his wand and muttering spells, but he didn't look worried, which was a relief. As much as Lily sometimes annoyed me to no end, I didn't want her to get hurt.

"I'm fine!" Lily said as she waved her brother away and James grinned at her in response.

"You could at least thank me," he told her, making her laugh.

"Thanks, but I have a bone to pick," she said and started walking towards Lysander who tried to hide behind Seth.

"No, you don't," I said, stopping her from marching up to Lysander, "You're a fucking Quidditch player and Quidditch players get injured. Deal with it, little Potter." Lily scoffed at me but didn't say anything. I usually wouldn't have stopped her but I didn't think it would be a good idea for more people on the team to be fighting or anything close to it. It was enough that James and I didn't look each other in the eye during the whole practice. I wasn't about to lose the upcoming game against Slytherin because of hot-headed teammates.

I turned on the spot and left them all standing in the middle of the Pitch, staring at my back. I could feel the two sets of eyes boring into the back of my head as I disappeared in the locker rooms and I knew that either James or Fred would try and talk to me. So, instead of showering in the locker rooms, I trudged up to the castle in my filthy Quidditch gear, grabbed some food in the Great Hall, much to Ash and Dom's astonishment, and made my way back to my dorm where I could shower and eat in peace, without anyone asking me uncomfortable questions. Because, besides the obvious resentment I've been harbouring towards my family that's been building up ever since that article came out, I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why exactly I was so angry at James just because he made some comment that I full well knew he didn't actually mean in the way I wanted to interpret it.

As I sat on my bed and munched on my stolen dinner, I realised it really bothered me that I have been so angry all the time lately. My anger wasn't that unusual, I was pretty explosive at times, but I was never cruel towards James. I remembered the last time we had a sort-of fight and his blurted out 'I love you'. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach as I thought of how he was the only person in the world that could make me freak out and then laugh about it in the span of a couple of minutes with just a few words. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. There was no way in hell I would allow myself to feel guilty.

* * *

Despite my determination from the night before that I wouldn't feel guilty, I woke up feeling dreadful. For once in my life, I was up earlier than Dom and Ash, and even Ziggy was still sleeping at the foot of my bed. I kicked off the covers and lay there, staring at the top of my four-poster, trying my best not to think about anything. It was proving increasingly difficult so I got up, got dressed and decided to leave for Hogsmeade early. That way, I could at least avoid everyone.

I made a quick stop at the Owlery before I left the castle. In the midst of all the things that have happened in the short span that I've been back at school, I forgot to send some fan mail to George R. R. Martin. Some would call it hate mail because I could get passionate about my begging for him to publish _The Winds of Winter_ already. He never replied, obviously, but I felt like I could keep sending the letters and try my best at guilt-tripping him. It felt weird to take Antigone, so instead of her, I coaxed one of the school owls to take the letter with a couple of owl treats.

Luckily, there was no Osborne blocking my path this time, so I quickly made my way to the Entrance Hall and on the path towards Hogsmeade. It was a fairly cold day, so I hugged my jacket closer to my body as I walked, the wind blowing hard and making my hair a tangled mess. Since it was still fairly early, there weren't many Hogwarts students walking around the village. However, I did see a group of hags huddled together in front of Hog's Head and another group walking towards the Shrieking Shack. I was surprised at first, but then I vaguely remembered Fred talking about the HagCon that was supposed to take place in Hogsmeade during the next week. Obviously, he wanted to crash it to hang out with hags.

I walked down High Street until I arrived at the Hogsmeade branch of the Magical Menagerie. The shop was empty when I entered except for the shop owner, an older witch in pale blue robes. She was grooming a large Kneazle while I browsed the shop. I only had to buy food for Ziggy but I didn't have anything better to do so I looked in on the various creatures in the shop. There was a lonely looking baby snowy owl. I came closer and it perked up, hooting merrily when I scratched its head.

The shop owner approached me with a smile on her face. "He likes you! Do you want to buy him?" she asked, her eyebrows raised in expectation.

"No, I think my cat would probably eat him," I said, thinking of Ziggy and his tendency to devour small birds, leaving nothing but a coughed up feather as evidence of his crime.

The witch laughed. "How can I help you then?"

"I need two big packs of your premium cat food," I told her, still petting the baby owl. She nodded her head and went behind the counter, rummaging around the cabinets until she found the food and put it on the counter. "Will that be all?" she asked and I nodded my head, scratching the baby owl one last time before I walked up to the counter and paid for the food. I waved my wand to make the two packs smaller and stuffed them in my backpack, leaving the shop and walking into somebody while I was closing the zipper.

"Sor –" I started to say but then I looked up and found myself face to face with Al. Despite James' insistence that I apologise to Al, I haven't talked to him since the party. He still looked hot and I mentally cursed myself for thinking that. There was a smirk on his face and I had a bad feeling this would turn out into another sexually tense encounter in the middle of fucking Hogsmeade. We stared at each other for a couple of increasingly awkward minutes.

"Excuse me?" a middle-aged wizard said in our general direction with a very annoyed look on his face. He was carrying a large empty cage. "You're blocking the entrance," he muttered and shot us dirty looks. I moved to the side and Al followed me, casually putting his arm around my shoulders as if he was guiding me away.

"Stop it," I said, glaring at him and shrugging off his arm. The problem wasn't that I didn't like it. The problem was that I did. And he was fucking in love with me. Or so he thought.

"Listen, Al," I started before we could enter another staring contest, "I'm sorry for leading you on, okay? I'm a fucked up person so I'm sorry. I broke up with you and I kept stringing you along, at The Howler and then at the party…" I trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

There was a sad smile on his face and I couldn't remember the last time I saw him look vulnerable. "I know you don't want the same things that I do. So I'll, uh, stop…Whatever this is between us," he said and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You obviously can't keep it in your pants around me," he said in a teasing tone and I started to laugh. It felt good to be able to laugh with him again.

"Are you implying I have no self-control?" I asked, still smiling at him.

"I'm not implying anything, I'm simply stating the obvious –"

"Quinn?" A familiar voice called out and the smile disappeared from my face. I looked over Al's shoulder and saw my brother standing there. But he didn't look like Ethan. He looked like someone who hadn't seen the light of day in a very long time.

"Ethan?" I said in a weak voice, running towards him, forgetting about Al. He would understand. When I neared my brother, I saw that he looked awful. There were bags under his bloodshot eyes and his usually neat hair was messy. He reeked of alcohol. I hugged him and he just stood there, stock-still, until he started shaking and I realised he was crying. I was getting worried now, a thousand thoughts running through my head, wondering if grandad and our parents were okay.

Finally, Ethan stopped shaking and I let go of him. "Ragnar is dead," he whispered.

I was ashamed as relief flooded me. It wasn't grandad or our parents who died, but Ragnar. And after the initial relief, I felt tears prickling my eyes, though I wouldn't let them fall. Ragnar, my brother's best friend and a fellow Hit Wizard, always acted like I was his little sister. As far as I knew he had no family. Ethan was his family, and so was I. There was a certain numbness spreading through me, interspersed with grief. Grief for Ragnar but also grief for my brother who looked completely broken.

I dragged Ethan towards the Three Broomsticks and sat him down at a table while I ordered some food and drinks. No alcohol.

He was holding his head in his hands when I put the fish and chips in front of him, along with two fizzy drinks.

"What happened?" I asked though I doubted he would give me an honest answer.

"We were on a mission…It didn't go well," he looked up at me and I had the urge to hug him again but I let him talk instead, "I…I couldn't save him."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ethan snorted at that and rubbed his eyes. "Not really. And even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Magical contract and all that…" He drifted off, staring through the window. "I just wanted to see you, little demon, and tell you in person. I know you know I'm not fine but there's nothing you can do to help." His tone was resigned and his face was morphing into an emotionless mask. Nothing like the brother I held together not too long ago. I was used to him not talking about his job but I wished I could do something. Instead, I could just sit there with him while he transformed into the persona he showed to everybody else.

We ate in silence and Ethan started laughing when he took a sip of the drink I bought him. It wasn't the reaction I was expecting.

"What?"

He shook his head and waved to the waitress who quickly appeared at our table. "Firewhisky," he said and she went back to the bar, waving her wand and sending a glass of Firewhisky towards Ethan. He took it before it landed on our table and drained it in one go.

"Don't you know that all Hit Wizards are alcoholics?" he said, still laughing at me. I stared at him, unsure of what to say. I thought it was his way of dealing with grief and pain so I stayed silent. Until I remembered the bloody article.

"Ethan, what the bloody fuck is happening at home? I sent grandad a letter and he didn't respond."

He looked at me, brows furrowed in confusion until he realised what I was talking about.

"Well…Mum flirted with Orlov. So he'd stop bugging her. She figured she could charm him…You know how she is."

I couldn't quite believe what he was saying. "What the actual fuck?"

Ethan smirked, "That's what dad said."

I felt like somehow I walked into an alternate universe when I woke up today.

"And the match?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I wasn't there but from what grandad told me, Orlov took her seriously and then everything kind of blew up." Ethan took the fizzy drink and drained that, too. He got up and threw a couple of Sickles on the table to pay for the Firewhisky.

"I have to go, little demon," he said and again he was my brother, not the empty mask, as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head, "Grandad is too busy with politics right now to reply to letters. I love you." I didn't get a chance to say anything before he turned on the spot and Disapparated.

I didn't know for how long I sat in the Three Broomsticks after Ethan left. Seeing Ethan, the news of Ragnar's death, my mother flirting with Orlov had me reeling from too much information. I also didn't know what to think anymore. I only knew I was once again angry, mostly at my mother who apparently decided to fuck things up. I couldn't keep sitting there so I got up, left the pub and started running towards the castle.

I didn't go to the Gryffindor Tower. Instead, I ran up to the seventh floor and the Room of Requirement. I walked in front of it, thinking I needed my boxing gear, my place to de-stress. After a couple of moments, the door appeared and I opened it up only to be met by the perfect recreation of my parents' basement, with my leggings and sports bra neatly folded in the corner, the boxing gloves sitting on top of them.

The sound of me hitting the punching bag in the corner of the room was the only sound that could be heard for a while. It felt exhilarating, being able to hit away my emotions, to let out all my anger at the punching bag. After some time I had to stop to catch my breath. I was doubled over and breathing heavily when the door opened.

I looked up to see James closing the door behind him.

"What," I started and took a deep breath, "What are you doing here? How did you get in?" I clutched my side as I looked at him, waiting for the answer.

"Al told me about Ethan when he got back from Hogsmeade. He said he looked bad…" James drifted off and his hazel eyes looked into my own for the first time since before our fight yesterday. "I couldn't find you on the Map so I figured you must be in the Room of Requirement. It didn't take much thinking to get to boxing." He knew me too well.

"It's nothing," I muttered, not quite sure how I felt about James at this particular moment in time. I looked away from him, closing my eyes for a moment. When I opened them it was to see James taking off his shirt, pulling on his own boxing gloves and putting in a mouth guard.

We started to dance around each other, but I didn't wait too long before I threw my first punch. I hit him in the side, hard, but he didn't let out a sound. James did a couple of jabs and I managed to dodge some, but not all. I felt the contact but not the pain. I tried a hook to his lower body and felt satisfied when it connected. We continued in this way, punching each other, getting more vicious with each punch, but somehow, I felt my previous anger at him disappearing each time I made contact with his body. When I felt drained of all energy and ready to collapse in the middle of the ring, James encircled me in his arms and held me for a long time, not saying a word.

I moved away from him and looked him over. We were both sweaty and there was some blood trickling around his eye but he seemed fine overall. Nothing a couple of his Healing spells wouldn't fix.

"James…I'm –"

He stopped me before I could finish apologising, "I know."

I finally collapsed to the floor and James sat down next to me. I leaned against him, pulled off my gloves and took out my mouth guard. He ran his arm up and down my shoulder, muttering soothing words in my ear as I felt some tears finally making their way down my face. I wasn't crying. The tears came and went and I was silent during the whole ordeal. When they stopped I turned to face James. He leaned his forehead against my own and I told him everything. He listened without interruptions and when I was finished he hugged me. The feel of his body so close to mine was not unfamiliar but it felt different. He felt different.

"Everything is going to be okay," he said, face buried in my messy hair.

And I believed him.


	10. Chapter 10

After meeting Ethan in Hogsmeade, I didn't bother with sending any more letters to grandad. I was positive that he got the one I sent him, he just chose to ignore it. No matter how busy he was, I couldn't quite believe that he couldn't at least write a couple of sentences. And I sure as hell wasn't about to send letters to my parents because why would I want to exchange letters with Ravi Patel?

But, after my little breakdown or whatever the hell it was in the Room of Requirement, I decided to shut up my own mind and stuff all the things I was suddenly _feeling_ into a nice little box somewhere in the back of my mind. For some people, that would have been a problem. For me, it was easier than feeling vulnerable. I didn't bloody do vulnerable and I've had enough of it for a lifetime.

It was already Halloween and our upcoming match against Slytherin was drawing near, meaning James made us train every day. I didn't mind since it gave me something to focus on. During yesterday's practice we managed to get Lily to actually dodge Bludgers properly so at least that was a success. I only hoped she would keep it up during the match or else we were going to be royally fucked.

I was walking down to breakfast alone because once again I overslept and everyone else probably got too hungry to wait for me. Luckily, it was a Sunday so I didn't have to rush in order to be on time for class. As I was passing the library, I rolled my eyes. Coming from the opposite direction was Osborne, but he wasn't alone. With him were Byron Hastings, one of the seventh year Slytherin Chasers who I snogged at last year's Halloween party which in turn made his girlfriend at the time try and hex both of us, and bloody Jonathan. I completely forgot that the three of them were friends even though they were all in different houses.

I grabbed my wand as they approached, fully prepared to duel them in the middle of the corridor. It would have been satisfying to channel some of my anger into cursing them.

Out of nowhere, an arm snaked itself around my shoulders, just before I crossed paths with Osborne. "Alright, Quinn?" I looked up to see Jax walking beside me and smirking at me, looking oddly put together instead of his usual dishevelled look in the mornings. Before I could say anything to him, we came face to face with Osborne.

He, Byron and Jonathan had almost identical sneers on their faces when they saw us. There was something unnerving about them. I expected at least an insult thrown my way, but there was nothing except for the sneers. Jax stiffened beside me and narrowed his eyes, but there was still an easy smirk on his face. He nodded to Byron, "Byron."

"Wood," Byron said, his voice cold as ice. I thought it was weird that the two of them would be so formal with each other because they got along well, from what I knew, and they were on the same team.

The rest of us stayed silent. I was on the brink of saying something insulting just because I thought it would be a waste of an encounter if I didn't when Jax nudged me forward and we started walking away. I turned around to see the three of them huddled together, muttering about something, occasionally throwing dirty looks in our direction. I shook my head and kept walking. Jax still had his arm around my shoulders and I found out that I didn't really mind.

We neared the tapestry of the famous duel between Alberta Toothill and Samson Wiblin which also hid a shortcut to the Great Hall. I cocked an eyebrow at Jax, "Come on, there's a passage behind this. It'll get us to the Great Hall faster."

He smirked at me, "If it means this will end in the same way like the last time I followed you behind a tapestry…" he trailed off, a hungry look in his eyes that sparked something in me and made me rethink my original plan of going to breakfast. I took his hand and lifted up the tapestry only to be met with the sight of Trinity Gladstone, one of the most annoying people that I have ever met, snogging a bloke like her life depended on it. As Jax lifted the rest of the tapestry and more light filtered into the passage, Trinity jumped away with a huff and scowled at us, but I was distracted by the creeping cold that enveloped me when I saw James' hazel eyes staring at me from behind her. I quickly dropped Jax's hand but not before James caught sight of it. I saw that the Marauder's Map, though blank, was sticking out from his back pocket.

Jax broke the uncharacteristically uncomfortable silence that ensued, "How cosy," he said in a mocking voice, nodding to both of them as a way of greeting. He didn't seem fazed by the fact that James didn't even look at him or with the way Trinity winked at him flirtatiously. He put an arm around my shoulder and I had a vague inkling that I should probably shrug him off for the sake of not getting into another argument with James if he started thinking I lied to him again, but with a scathing look at Trinity, I merely smirked. I tugged on his other arm, "Let's go to breakfast." We left the two of them in silence, though I could feel James staring at the back of my head.

The Gryffindor table was almost empty when we entered the Great Hall and sat down to eat. The whole castle was decorated with pumpkins and bats but the Great Hall was also filled with massive cobwebs stretching across the enchanted ceiling. I knew that there would be more decorations set before the feast tonight but even now it looked impressive.

As I piled scrambled eggs on my plate, I caught myself thinking about James. He hadn't hooked up with anybody since that girl at The Howler and I never thought about how weird that was until now when I caught him with Trinity. I rolled my eyes while I chewed. There was no reason for me to be annoyed with him, and yet, I was. A brief flash of the night when we came back to Hogwarts passed through my mind, but I shrugged it off. I was being bloody selfish and who James decided to snog or shag didn't have anything to do with me.

"So?" Jax asked and I frowned at him. I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying but he was grinning at me and I grinned back, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and gulping down some water before answering.

"I have no idea what you're asking me," I told him and he started to laugh at me, "Sorry, but I was really hungry! You can't expect me to pay attention while I'm trying to stop myself from dying of hunger."

He grabbed a toast off my plate, "I asked if you wanted to come fly with me," he bit off a piece of toast and swallowed before continuing, "You know, after you make sure you're not dying."

I cocked an eyebrow and swatted away his hand, "The last person that stole food from my plate ended up with a black eye so you might want to rethink your lapse in judgement if you want to keep that pretty face intact." I was starting to flirt with him, fully in my element, and Jax was fun to flirt with because he could say the most outrageous things, some of which could make even me blush.

He reached out and put his hand on my thigh playfully, "You think I'm pretty? Not hot? Or sexy?" he said in a husky voice, mussing up his hair with his other hand, once again reminding me of James.

I was spared from answering him because Fred appeared at my side and sat down next to me. He looked pointedly at Jax's hand resting on my thigh which retreated under Fred's gaze.

"Merlin, I'm going mad!" Fred exclaimed and both Jax and I raised our eyebrows. Fred grabbed an apple and bit into it, a scowl on his face. I took a moment to look at him properly and I was surprised to notice that he had bags under his eyes.

"What happened?" I asked, craning my neck to look around the Great Hall and see if I could find Ashley, suspecting his foul mood might have something to do with her. As I scanned the Slytherin table, I spotted her sharing a blueberry cake with Nathan Wilde. Hugo was sitting close to them and looked as if he was listening to their conversation and writing it down. I narrowed my eyes at Fred.

"Did you tell Hugo to spy on Ash, write it all down and report to you?"

Jax nearly choked on his pumpkin juice and Fred scowled, putting his head in his hands. "No," he huffed, "But he offered to do it and I didn't stop him. He thinks he's doing it for her sake. You know, guarding her honour or whatnot." Fred shook his head, "I'm an idiot," he muttered.

I nodded and waved my fork in his general direction, "Yeah, why don't you just ask her out? I don't remember you being this scared of asking out a girl. And you still haven't told me why you look like you haven't slept in a while."

Noticing Jax eyeing a muffin I put aside for dessert, I grabbed one from the basket next to me and threw it at him. He caught it, flexed his left arm, wiggling his eyebrows and smirking at me. Bloody Keepers.

"Her date went well," Fred said in a low voice, staring at Ash and Nathan with a defeated look on his face. "Did she tell you anything about it? About him?"

I rolled my eyes. I was getting bored of listening to him whine. I wanted the old Fred back. He was cool and didn't mope around so much, even though he might've been harbouring an old lady persona whenever James and I would try to get him laid.

"Enough! I dare you to ask her out or just snog her already," I said and Fred's eyes went wide.

"You wouldn't!" He said, crossing his arms across his chest and frowning at me.

"I'm not following," Jax said, looking back and forth between Fred and me while eating the muffin I threw at him and once again his hand was on my thigh, his fingers lightly teasing me.

"James, Fred and I have a game. Whenever one of us dares the other to do something they have to do it," at this Fred stuck out his tongue at me, "or else eternal shame will be brought upon them."

Jax raised his eyebrows, "Eternal shame? Do I want to know what that even means?"

I laughed at his expression and Fred joined me, despite being dared to do something he really didn't want to do. "Well, none of us ever backed down from a dare so we haven't figured it out yet," I rubbed my chin in thought. "Backing down wouldn't be a very Gryffindor thing to do, right? But, you're a Slytherin and you lot are supposed to be cunning, so we're open to suggestions as to what eternal shame might entail."

While I was talking, Jax moved his hand higher up my thigh. So high, in fact, that he was making it difficult to ignore it any longer. I grabbed his hand and put it firmly on the table. Fred looked at the offending hand in mild disgust.

He cleared his throat, "Can I at least do it when I'm drunk?"

"I don't bloody care if you're drunk or high, I just want you to get it over with and stop pestering me about Ashley's love life."

Fred pouted, "You're going to regret making this dare, Quinn. Just wait until I dare you –" He didn't get to finish his sentence because an owl decided to land on his head. I looked at it in alarm and nearly fell off the bench from shock. It was Odin. Of course it was. What other owl would decide it was a good idea to land on a person's head?

Odin flapped his wings once, hitting Fred in the process.

"Er…Quinn?" Fred asked, his voice sounding slightly worried. "Is Odin going to kill me?"

I looked at Odin. He looked at me. Our eyes were locked in a staring contest and I knew he was making a threat.

"Perhaps. He might start with pecking out your eyeballs. Don't make any sudden movements. Just let him sit there until I get back."

"Get back? Where the hell are you going? Why are you leaving me with a psychotic owl perched on top of my head? In fact, why are all your pets fucking psychotic?" Fred started rambling, his voice increasing in volume until a couple of Ravenclaws started looking at us funny. Jax looked ready to die from laughter. He was holding his stomach with his arms as he gulped for air between bouts of laughter.

"Relax –" I started but Fred's eyes went wide and he yelled at me.

"Relax?! You just said he might peck out my eyes, how in the name of Merlin's ball sack am I supposed to relax?"

Jax let out a snort, "I'm not sure you want to keep yelling, mate, that owl doesn't look pleased with the noise." He burst into laughter again, his face red and his whole body shaking with mirth.

I crossed my right leg over the bench and stood up slowly. I noticed that Jax stopped laughing so I turned my head to look at him. "Are you staring at my arse?"

He smirked, "So what if I am?"

"Oi! This is not the time to be flirting! There's a murderous bird –"

I rolled my eyes at Fred, "For fuck's sake! I'm only going to the end of the table to get some bacon for him." That shut him up and Odin looked noticeably perkier at the mention of bacon. I would've told Fred that nothing would happen to him but I honestly wasn't sure what Odin was planning. He could get pretty violent when he wanted to. I slowly made my way towards the plate of bacon I noticed earlier, making sure to sway my hips as I walked because I was sure Jax was still staring at me. Boys are predictable, and I enjoyed having an effect on Jax. Even though I knew he flirted with basically everyone, it still made me smug that he wanted me.

I grabbed the bacon and wrapped it in a napkin, not bothering to walk slowly as I was getting back to where Fred and Jax were sitting. I was dying of curiosity at the letter Odin had tied to his leg.

"Come here, Odin, I brought you the thing that the magizoologist expressly forbid you to eat regularly," I cooed at him, waving the bacon in front of me. Odin hooted and took flight, flapping his wings and again hitting Fred, but this time he landed on the table in front of me and started devouring the bacon. Fred was touching his head and ears, apparently making sure that nothing was out of place. I untied the letter and saw that my name was written in grandad's handwriting.

 _Quinn,_

 _I can't go into details about what is going on in case someone decides to snoop through our mail, but everything is fine, don't worry about anything, politics is simply being a bitch. There will be scouts at your match against Slytherin, play well and remember everything we practised during the summer. Sorry I can't come, but I'll come to the next one. I promise._

 _I love you,_

 _Grandad_

 _P.S. Don't let Odin eat bacon. You know he gets overly excited._

I let out an annoyed sigh and rolled my eyes after reading through the letter a couple of times, trying to find more meaning in it than it apparently held.

"What is it?" Fred asked in concern. He, as opposed to Jax, knew who Odin belonged to. I appreciated his concern but I didn't want to explain things to him. Who I actually needed was currently otherwise occupied with Trinity Gladstone.

I shook my head, "It's nothing. Everything is fine." I tried to fake a smile and I think I succeeded because Fred nodded and went back to staring at Ash and Nathan. I could feel Jax's eyes on me, but he stayed silent. I knew he probably knew how I felt, with the way his own relationship with his parents was pretty much non-existent.

"We're going flying," I said to Fred, nodding my head towards Jax, "Want to come with us?"

Fred let out a snort and looked at me, tearing his eyes away from Ash, "Flying? Is that code for shagging?"

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "If it were, we wouldn't be asking you to join us, would we?"

Jax started to laugh again because the expression on Fred's face suggested he seriously doubted we wouldn't ask him to join us.

Fred held up his hands, "Hey, I don't know what Wood is into…" he trailed off, looking at Jax who slid off the bench to the floor from laughter.

I stood up, lightly nudging Jax's leg and winked at Fred, "Come on, we'll make Jax chase us around the Pitch. He won't even get to touch the Quaffle."

Jax stopped laughing at that and there was a glint in his eyes, "Is that a challenge?"

As we made our way outside, I noticed some stormy clouds in the distance and hoped that the storm would hold off until nightfall. Flying wasn't the least bit of fun during a storm.

We were lucky because while the clouds did gradually gather, no rain started to fall and we spent the better part of the day flying. Fred seemed to have temporarily forgotten about Ash, or the flying kept him sufficiently distracted. I wasn't much of a Chaser so Jax had no problems saving my attempts at the hoops, but Fred was a different story. He might not have wanted to go pro, but he was a damn good Chaser. I soon stopped trying to score and instead I did silly stunts, which sometimes involved almost crashing into Fred and Jax, in order to distract both of them from their little competition.

Only when it started to get dark and chilly did I realise that we completely missed lunch. I was enjoying myself just flying around on the Stormwind and feeling free to notice my stomach growling loudly. At least there was a Halloween feast tonight.

I zoomed towards the ground at full speed, straightening my broom just before I crashed, landing elegantly on the ground. Jax and Fred landed next to me. We were all sweaty but elated.

Jax was looking at me strangely, but I paid him no mind as we walked towards the lockers to shower. Fred entered the locker room and I was about to follow him inside when Jax grabbed my hand and turned me around. I dropped the Stormwind and I saw that Jax's Ironwood was on the ground too. He didn't say anything, instead, he pinned me against the wall of the locker rooms, tangled his hands in my hair and crashed his lips onto mine. I could feel his whole body against me as his hand found its way from my hair to my neck and lower, brushing against my breasts through the thin fabric of my T-shirt. He started kissing my neck and his hand was unzipping my jeans, making my hips arch against him, but just before he could touch me properly, the door opened and Fred appeared with a confused look on his face.

He jumped a bit when he saw us and cackled, "I knew it _was_ code!"

The moment ruined, I disentangled myself from Jax and scowled at Fred, "Shut up." Fred made a face at me and went back to the locker rooms, leaving us alone.

I snorted, "Well, I could make a bad joke about wood," I started but the pained look on Jax's face made me stop and laugh instead. He groaned in frustration.

"I think someone put a curse on me," he muttered, "Why else would we get interrupted all the time?"

I zipped up my jeans and smirked, "Well, maybe if you didn't decide to assault me in public…"

"You seemed to enjoy being assaulted."

Letting out another laugh, I ran my fingers through his hair, "I think we both need a shower. Make yours a cold one." I winked at him and entered the locker rooms.

* * *

I was in a much better mood than this morning when I entered the Great Hall, now fully decorated for the upcoming Halloween feast with spiderwebs, pumpkins and live bats flying around. The floating jack-o'-lanterns were festively creepy and the only lights that decorated the Hall, giving everything a sinister aura. The charmed ceiling showed the rain that started moments before. Lightning struck and I could see my friends sitting in the middle of Gryffindor table.

Sitting down next to Dom, who spent the day doing homework, letting me copy it before the feast, I looked around in confusion.

"Where's James?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. It wasn't like him to miss a meal, especially a feast.

Fred, who was sitting opposite me shrugged, "I haven't seen him since this morning." He didn't look bothered by that, but that may have been because Ashley was sitting next to him instead of Nathan.

Ash smiled at me, "He was in the common room before Dom and I went down to the feast. I'm sure he'll be here soon."

I nodded but her comment didn't really reassure me. I stood up slightly so I could see over people's heads and I let my eyes wander over to the Slytherin table, thinking that James might be sitting with Al. I caught Jax's eye and he winked at me but James wasn't there. Neither was Al. Weird.

McGonagall said a few words and then the ghosts acted out a scene from the Headless Hunt (it was dreadful because none of the Hogwarts ghosts were actually headless) before the food appeared. I was famished after missing lunch and flying the entire day so I piled all my favourite food on my plate, earning myself a raised eyebrow from Dom.

"What?" I asked between two bites of roasted beef, "I'm starving!"

She shook her head in amusement, "You're acting like Ziggy. I sometimes think you two are the same person in two different bodies."

Everyone laughed at her comment and I stuck out my tongue at her. "Well, I think Ziggy is a fantastic cat so thank you for the compliment."

The feast continued in much the same way and I was thankful that Fred was sufficiently distracted talking with Ash about the benefits of curses in defensive magic that he didn't mention Jax. When I realised that James wouldn't be coming to the feast, I transfigured a spoon into a bag and stuffed it with food wrapped in napkins, charming it to keep it warm for him. I wanted to tell him about the letter that grandad sent me.

When the feast was finished, I stayed sitting at the table, waiting for the crowd to disperse before I started the trip back to the common room. Ashley had prefect duties, Dom went off with Sean, they were most likely locked in a broom closet by now, and Fred kept me company. He was silent as we walked through the corridors, but before I told the password to the Fat Lady, he stopped me.

"Quinn?"

I turned around to look at him. "What?"

"Are you and Wood…" He trailed off and I laughed at him.

"Dating? Nope. Shagging? Almost. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

Fred had a troubled look on his face, "Yeah, I guess but –"

I leaned my head backwards, looking up at the ceiling in annoyance and sighing loudly, "But what?"

"Nothing, forget I said anything," he muttered, "I just thought… Nothing, let's go."

We climbed through the portrait hole and entered the lively common room. A fire was crackling in the fireplace and I saw Rose sitting in front of it, drawing something on a parchment that looked mechanical. Seth Blackwood was playing Exploding Snap with Lysander on the floor and Lily was reading a book by the window. Wendy, who avoided eye contact with me, was chatting with Lorcan.

Fred sat down next to Rose and I was about to start climbing the staircase towards the boys' dorms when there was a sudden shriek, followed by loud thundering.

"That cat is insane!" Trinity yelled as she came down the stairs, almost crashing into me. Her face was an angry red colour and she glared at me, shoving me slightly with her bony shoulder as she passed me. Slightly annoyed at the fact that James seemed to have spent the entire day with her, I quickly let it go as I had a feeling which cat she was yelling about and instantly felt a surge of love for Ziggy.

I climbed the stairs and opened the door to the last seventh year boys' dorm which was all the way at the top of the tower. James was lying down on his bed with Ziggy lying on top of him. Strangely enough, Ziggy was letting James pet him and he looked content, purring loudly. He almost never purred.

James turned his head to see who had entered his dorm with an annoyed expression on his face, but the annoyance was gone when he realised it was me. I waved with the bag, "I brought you some food," I said and sat down next to him. Ziggy immediately jumped down from the bed and settled on one of James' sweatshirts that was laying on the floor.

"Thanks," James said and opened the bag, taking out the food and starting to eat.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "So… Trinity, huh?" I asked, trying to sound teasing instead of irritated.

James rolled his eyes, "Godric, I thought she came back, but it was you."

I was surprised by this answer because he looked quite happy to be snogging her this morning. I stayed silent and James looked at me while he chewed his food. He shook his head, "This morning –"

"You don't have to explain."

He swallowed, "Yeah, but she kinda jumped me –"

I smirked, "And you didn't exactly push her away," I said and I mentally cursed myself for saying anything. I shouldn't have, but my mouth was always quicker than my brain.

It was James' turn to raise his eyebrows. I think he was equally surprised by my answer. There was a moment of silence as something flickered in his eyes and then he shrugged, "She's fit, but I really wasn't in the mood right now. So I told her to go away and she kept trying to snog me and then Ziggy sort of attacked her," he finished and laughed. I found myself thinking I would pay good money to see Ziggy attacking Trinity. I winked at Ziggy while James was busy wolfing down everything I brought him.

He laid back down on his bed and sighed, but didn't say anything or explain why he wasn't at dinner. I noticed that he looked worried which in turn made me worried. I settled down next to him and lay on my side. I poked him, "A Knut for your thoughts?"

James gave me a small smile and I couldn't help myself but smile back at him, he was infectious. "What, they're not even worth a Sickle?" He asked in a teasing tone as he started to play with my hair.

"What's up, James?" I whispered when the smile disappeared from his face.

He sighed, "I missed the feast because Al wanted to talk to me." He turned so he was laying on his side, facing me.

"About what?"

"You know how Osborne didn't retaliate after you broke his nose?"

I frowned at the question, the morning's meeting with Osborne flashing through my brain, slowly connecting the dots, "Yes?"

"Scorpius told Al that Osborne convinced his friends to use every move, legal or illegal, during every match against us. To target you specifically. So Hastings," James spat out the name in disgust, "convinced most of the Slytherin team to go along with him. Obviously, Scorpius and Wood, who you know would never play dirty, were against it but you know Slytherins. Wood can't stop them when they gang up on him and Hastings has been angling for the Captain spot since forever. And of course, it didn't take a lot of convincing to get Jonathan to agree. He would do anything to get back at Ash." James said all of this quickly as if it would make the whole thing easier to hear but it wasn't. I couldn't quite believe what he was saying. I couldn't believe that Jax didn't tell me.

"That's mental," I finally said, my eyes wide from shock.

James brushed a finger down my cheek, his cold hand making me shiver, "It is but Osborne is a fucking dick. He hates you. You humiliated him more times than anyone can count. And people… People don't exactly love you, Quinn, you know that. You rub most of them the wrong way and a lot of the guys can't stand that you're better than the lot of them at Quidditch. So they're willing to do anything they can to take away the only thing they think matters the most to you. Professional Quidditch."

James was serious. He was fucking serious and worried.

I scowled, "Fucking mental."

James took my hand in his, trying to comfort me. I felt tingling spread through my arm and smiled a devious smile.

We turned so we were both laying on our backs, staring at the top of his four-poster.

I didn't know what was running through James' head, but I found myself remembering all the dirty tricks grandad ever taught me.

As I turned my head to look at James, I flashed him the same devious smile that was playing on my lips ever since he told me everything. "I really fucking hate people."


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up snuggled against James' chest, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. The curtains around his bed were drawn so we were engulfed in semi-darkness. I looked up at him and I couldn't help but smile. He looked so peaceful when he slept, even though his other arm was twisted at a weird angle and I wondered once again how he managed to sleep through the night. His messy hair fell into his eyes and I stared at him, seemingly transfixed. I don't know how long I just watched him sleep but in those moments, I temporarily forgot about all the fucked up things going on in my life. It was a strange feeling, at the same time comforting and unnerving.

With some difficulty, I managed to snake my arm from under the pillow. I wanted to brush away the hair that fell into James' eyes so I raised my hand but at that moment James opened his eyes and I caught sight of my watch.

"Fuck!" I yelled, jumping up in bed and causing James to fall off, in turn making him yell out in pain.

I scrambled out from the tangled sheets around me. "James, get up! Get up, we need to fucking go!" I continued yelling at his confused face, putting on my Converse and feeling lucky that I was still in the clothes I wore last night.

James was still on the floor, rubbing his back. "James! We're going to be late for Potions so get the fuck up! North is dying to give us detention! He bloody hates me." Ever since that first detention when James befriended me, Professor Valerian North has held a grudge as if it was my fault that his Quidditch team, the Falmouth Falcons, were always at the bottom of the League. There was a rumour that North wanted to play professionally when he was younger but no team wanted him. Jealous, obsessive wanker.

I looked around the abandoned dorm, looking for my wand. The room wasn't too messy and I quickly noticed the wand on the floor next to James' right leg so I bent over to pick it up. "Why are you still on the floor?" I asked, nervously fiddling with my wand and tapping it against my leg.

He finally stopped rubbing his back and looked up at me, smirking, "Maybe I want to be in detention with you." That shut me up and I stopped in my tracks, raising my eyebrows at him and completely forgetting we were supposed to be halfway down the castle.

James started laughing at my face and I rolled my eyes, "Oh, sod off." He got up and dusted himself off, "What? We always have fun in detention!"

I started power walking out of his dorm, taking two steps at a time and hoping I wouldn't fall down and break my neck, "Yeah but I'm perfectly capable of having fun out of detention!" I turned my head to yell back at him. I nearly missed a step because James was immediately behind me and when I turned we ended up much closer than I anticipated. We just stood there for a moment, looking at each other, before James shook his head and grabbed my shoulders, turning me around. "We should probably run," he said and I nodded, waving my wand as I did and summoning my book bag before starting to run towards the portrait hole.

We ran through deserted corridors, taking every shortcut and secret passageway that we knew off and by the time we came to the Potions classroom in the dungeons, both out of breath and unable to talk, I saw that we were only two minutes late. I let James enter the classroom first because North was usually nice enough to his star student.

As James walked in, I went close behind him, trying to sort of hide from North. I shouldn't have bothered because he immediately turned away from the rest of the class, towards us.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for tardiness," North said and gestured to James to take a seat at our usual table in the back of the classroom. He then fixed me with a stern gaze, his clear silvery eyes looking me up from head to toe, "Miss Jones, I will not tolerate Muggle attire in my classroom! Where are your robes?"

I almost rolled my eyes at him. Of course he would let James off the hook for his own lack of school robes, but there was no way in hell he would ignore it on me. But, I really didn't want to end up in detention, especially alone, because North's detentions usually involved something stupid as cleaning bedpans in the Hospital Wing without magic. I would rather pickle rat brains. So I stopped myself before I actually rolled my eyes and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"They were destroyed in a fire, sir," I said, nodding my head seriously. I wasn't a very good liar, especially when I could hear James and Fred snorting from somewhere in the back of the class, but then again, North wasn't very good at reading people.

"Destroyed?"

"Yes, sir, Peeves set them on fire the other day because of this feud we've got between us. It all started back during second year -"

North sighed loudly and threw up one of his hands in the air to stop me from speaking, "I'm not interested in your feuds with the poltergeist, Jones. Just sit down and be quiet!"

I turned on my heel with a smile and made my way to where James was sitting. Throwing my book bag on the table, I sat down next to him and for the first time since we entered the Potions classroom, I actually noticed what we were supposed to be brewing. On the blackboard were listed the ingredients for Amortentia. It was one of the most difficult potions we've had to make and we would need to brew it for more than a month.

Putting my head in my hands and leaning against the table, I groaned at the work we would have to do. James leaned down and whispered, his breath tickling my ear, "You know you secretly love Potions."

"I really don't," I faced him, absentmindedly tracing a burn pattern on our desk, "It's easy for you, potion-making boy wonder."

He gave me a smug smile, "You love Potions because I'm your Potions partner, admit it!"

"That's what you like to think, is it?" I said, grinning at him. James just smiled at me and got up, taking off in the direction of the storeroom to grab us the ingredients we needed. My eyes wandered about the classroom and Jax caught my eye, winking at me. I frowned at him, angry at the fact that he didn't bloody tell me what his fucked up team agreed to do, and looked away only to see Fred hunched over the textbook. I realised that he basically let James and I oversleep.

I rummaged around my book bag until I found a small piece of parchment and my quill.

 _Why didn't you wake us up?_

I also drew a stick figure of Fred being attacked by an owl next to the question, for good measure. I thought it was a pretty good threat, adding little tags saying 'Odin' next to the owl and 'Fred' next to the stick figure. Crumpling the parchment, I chucked it at Fred's head. He straightened it out and after a couple of moments, turned around to roll his eyes at me. Fred scribbled down his answer and chucked the parchment back.

 _I bloody did. You yelled at me and threatened to curse me._

Turning over the parchment so I could write my response I quietly chuckled.

 _I don't remember that. It doesn't sound anything like me._

When Fred read what I wrote he just stuck out his tongue at me and turned back to his textbook. Dom sat down next to him, her arms filled with potions ingredients. She read over our exchange and turned her head to laugh at me. I pretended to be offended.

James came back with our own ingredients and I lit a fire under our cauldron, looking at him expectantly to tell me what to do. He sat down next to me and bumped my shoulder with his own.

"You should ground those fairy wings," James said, gesturing towards the small pile next to my textbook, "While I cut up ginger root."

"Okay," I said, taking out my potions kit and scooping up the fairy wings into the mortar. I started to ground them but James quickly stopped me, putting his hand over my own. "You're doing it wrong."

He got up and motioned for me to do the same. James moved behind me and took my hand holding the pestle firmly, his other hand holding the mortar. He moved my hand in a much gentler way than what I was doing before, making the wings into a fine powder. As he leaned over me slightly, I suddenly realised how weird this must look to other people.

"Here, do it slowly and you'll get a finer powder than if you do it hard and fast," he said softly in my ear and I found myself slightly leaning into him. With wide eyes, realising what I was doing I froze in place, looking around the classroom and dropping the pestle. James moved away from me and raised his eyebrows, "Something wrong?"

I shook my head, "Nope, everything is dandy," I muttered, avoiding his eyes. Instead, I focused on the fairy wings and blocked out the rest of the class.

For the next two hours we worked together. Well, I was mostly doing manual labour that James assigned me but I didn't mind, at least it was something to do instead of allowing me to think about my actions. I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me but I obviously needed to get laid soon.

After Potions ended, Jax sauntered over to our desk while James was storing our cauldron in the storeroom to stew there until our next class. I saw that Fred was hovering nearby with Dom and Ashley.

Jax casually leaned against the desk as I was putting away my textbook. "So..." he trailed off, looking at me with a confused expression. I couldn't blame him. Just yesterday I almost shagged him against the locker rooms and today I was angry at him. I didn't want to make a scene in front of the entire class so I got up and jerked my head towards the door. Jax followed me out of the classroom and we walked in silence until we got to an abandoned corridor close to the Great Hall. I stood against the wall and crossed my arms, frowning up at Jax.

"So, you decided it would be a good idea to lie to me?" I said. It was difficult not to start yelling at him but I didn't want us to be overheard.

He furrowed his brows and rubbed a hand over his dark stubble. "Lie?"

I stayed silent and stared at him, tapping my foot against the wall. After a couple of silent moments, understanding seemed to appear on his face.

Jax leaned against the wall next to me and let out a frustrated groan, closing his eyes. "Is this about Osborne's plan?"

"Of course it's about his bloody plan. Or is there something else you conveniently didn't tell me?" I spat out.

He opened his eyes, "And what was I supposed to tell you? That my own team doesn't listen to a word I say? That I'm a lousy Captain? It's not something I go around telling people. Especially not you."

I decided to ignore whatever the hell he meant with his last comment and narrowed my eyes at him. "You should've told me the truth." I absolutely hated liars and I didn't want to hear any more of his self-pitying remarks so I walked away from him, leaving the abandoned corridor and heading into the Great Hall. I was furious with myself. I should've just shagged him and walked away. But no, instead, the genius that I was, I flirted and had a little bit of fun and bloody hung out with him and expected him to at least be a several-night stand.

* * *

"What did Wood want?" Ashley asked as soon as I threw myself on the bench opposite her and Dom, scanning the table for something to eat. I put some chicken and roasted potatoes on my plate and looked over at the two of them.

"Nothing," I said and shrugged, starting to eat.

Dom cocked an eyebrow at me, "So it would be wrong of us to assume you just came back from having your way with him?"

"Very wrong."

I stabbed a potato and Ash smirked. "Trouble in paradise?" She asked, taking a sip of her orange juice. For once she wasn't reading something during lunch.

Sighing, I put down my fork and stopped eating for a moment. "It's just some Quidditch stuff. You know, with the match coming up and all..." I trailed off, hoping that my vague answer would satisfy their curiosity for now. I wasn't quite sure how to tell them Osborne would try and ruin any possibility I had of being a professional Quidditch player. The whole thing sounded overly dramatic.

"Anyhow, Teddy? Nathan?" I asked, gesturing for the two of them to talk. If they were surprised that I was seemingly interested in their love lives, they didn't show it. Maybe this time I could actually manage to pay attention for longer than five minutes.

"I actually need to go meet Nathan," Ashley said with a smirk, "We both have a free period so..." she trailed off, making me laugh.

"So you're going to have _your_ way with him?" I finished the sentence for her, making obscene gestures. "I've heard he's good in bed," I said, looking around the table, hunting for apple juice. I grabbed a nearby pitcher and filled my goblet while Dom and Ash looked at me with wide eyes.

"Don't tell me you already shagged the bloke that I'm seeing," Ash muttered, a suspicious look to her as she observed my face for a reaction.

As I took a large gulp from my goblet I dramatically pointed at my chest and raised my eyebrows in a 'Who, me?' expression. Putting my goblet down I smiled at her, "Nah, Lily told me."

Dom bit into a carrot and turned to her right where a couple of seats away, Lily was sitting with Rose and the rest of her friends, eating lunch and chatting about something. "How would Lily know?" Dom asked with furrowed brows, eyeing her cousin.

I shrugged, "Hugo told her. You know he's the resident Slytherin spy or gossip boy," I nodded towards Hugo sitting at one end of the Slytherin table, observing everyone around him carefully and occasionally scribbling down some notes. His red hair, the same colour as his twin's, was combed over and his robes were, as always, very neat. He seemed unaware of the Hufflepuff boy staring at him but I was sure Hugo was only pretending not to notice. I have never known him to date anyone and he didn't seem interested in relationships, only in information. And the occasional guarding of Ashley's honour.

"I've got to go," Ashley said and got up from the table, shrugging out of her robes, carefully folding them and stuffing them into her book bag. She waved her wand and her uniform skirt ended up a couple of inches shorter than regulation. I wolf whistled and she rolled her eyes at me, turning around and starting to walk away.

"Hey, Greengrass!" I yelled after her, using her mother's maiden name which I knew annoyed her. Ash stopped and turned towards me, raising her eyebrows. "I expect a confirmation when you get back!" Dom burst into laughter and I smirked at Ash. With another roll of her eyes, she walked away.

"Hey beautiful," Sean Murphy said in his deep voice, snaking his arms around Dom and kissing her neck right in front of me. I mentally gagged. Maybe it wasn't mentally because Dom gave me a reproachful look and I decided to pretend I was mute in case I started talking about He Who Must Not Be Named In The Presence Of Sean. Or Teddy for short. I started chuckling at my bad joke and both Sean and Dom looked at me like I was mental.

Sean whispered something in her ear and she giggled, turning bright red and nodding. They both got up and Sean caught Dom around the waist, pulling her against him. She winked at me and I made a face at her. "We have to uh..." She started to say but Sean kissed her, interrupting whatever it was that she wanted to say. When he finally unglued himself from her, they both seemed out of breath. "We've got Divination, so, uh, bye Quinn!" Dom managed to say before they took off out of the Great Hall.

"You don't even take Divination!" I yelled after them, staring at their retreating forms.

"I heard a rumour," a voice said in my ear.

I turned around in my seat to see that Seth, who for some reason had a black eye and some cuts all over his face, came to sit beside me from his place at the end of the table where I previously spotted him with Lysander and Lorcan. It was nice to see that the team got on pretty well together. If one didn't count Lily disliking me. And well, Wendy wasn't my biggest fan after the way I treated her. I didn't blame her but I wasn't about to start apologising to people all over the place. She would get over it.

"You're invading my personal bubble," I muttered as I moved away from him. He was sitting so close to me that our sides were touching.

"Um, what? Oh, sorry, you were turned away -" Seth had a sheepish look as he scrambled to get away from me. I started to laugh at him and he stopped when he realised I wouldn't turn violent.

I cleared my throat and narrowed my eyes, "A rumour? If this has anything to do with random people's relationships, I don't want to hear it."

Seth drummed his fingers on the table to the tune of the Arrows' anthem which felt like a personal insult so I grabbed his hand to stop him. I really didn't want to listen to my mother's team anthem right now. Or ever.

"No, I heard our match against Slytherin is going to be a bloodbath," he said, his eyes glowing with joy and excitement. "So, is it true?"

"Why are you sporting a black eye and several cuts on your face?" I asked because I couldn't quite ignore the fact that he looked like he just came out of a fight.

Seth took a bread roll and took a bite of it before answering. "I got into a scuffle with Nash's boyfriend this morning. You know him, the big Slytherin guy who -"

"The one with the white hair?" I asked with a frown, vaguely remembering the guy snogging Ryder Nash, one of the Slytherin Beaters, at the party in the Room of Requirement.

Seth nodded, "Yeah, that's the one. He mentioned the bloodbath before I hexed his mouth shut," he cackled at that, "poor Nash won't be getting his di-"

I interrupted before he could get into what exactly Ryder Nash won't be getting in the near future. "But why did you even get into a fight with him?" At this point, the two of us were among the last students left in the Great Hall. Which meant lunch was almost over, which meant that I was supposed to be on the seventh floor, on my way to the Arithmancy classroom. For fuck's sake, today was apparently the day I did my cardio workout by running up and down the castle.

Jumping up from the bench and grabbing my book bag I looked down at Seth. "What do you have now?"

"Free period."

I nodded, "Walk with me, delinquent-boy," I said and started running out of the Great Hall, with Seth following me. When we came to the Grand Staircase and I started to run up them he started panting, "I thought you said walk!"

"Oh come on! I'll be late for Arithmancy and you'll need a lot more stamina if you want to keep playing Quidditch," I yelled over my shoulder and he started running after me again. When he caught up, I slowed down my pace a little so we could talk. "You didn't answer me why you got into a fight."

"He started talking shit about you and the Captain during our Care of Magical Creatures class this morning," he said.

We came up to the corridor that held a secret passage to the fourth floor. I ran in the direction of the statue of Agnes the Wild. "Are you going to keep calling James the Captain? Because that's weird, Blackwood."

As I tapped my wand against Agnes' left forearm Seth looked confused. "Fred told Lysander, Wendy and me we needed to call him that."

While Agnes danced away from the wall to reveal the sloping passage I snorted, "You shouldn't believe everything Fred says. Anyway, what did what's his face say?"

"Said the two of you used Felix Felicis. And that you purposefully shagged team captains before a match so they'd be distracted."

I rolled my eyes, "How unoriginal." Seth was doing quite a good job of keeping up with me while we ran, but I was starting to feel seriously out of breath so I slowed down to a brisk walk.

"And your first reaction was to fight him? You could've just ignored him," I said, looking sideways at him and noticing he had a small smile playing on his lips.

He stopped in his tracks and I raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Well, liars make my blood boil especially when they insult my friends...," he trailed off, looking down at me and I remembered the fight he started with the Ravenclaws the previous year. "And when somebody fucks with my team, it's not going to end well for them. I might be new to the team but I've got your back. So...If there's a bloodbath, I want in on it."

I chuckled softly at his dramatic declaration, "Bloodbath is a bit too theatrical. But, I don't doubt that James will have something to say before today's practice so...Thanks, Seth, I, uh, appreciate it."

The rest of the afternoon dragged on. I didn't really have a particular reason why I still took Arithmancy, except that, besides Transfiguration, it was a class I was good at without having to put in too much work. So with my equations done fairly quickly, I had trouble sitting still during the rest of class. My eyes kept flitting towards the Quidditch Pitch visible through the windows and I was itching to just go out there and fly. If I were James, I would've spent the class thinking up plays, but I wasn't much of a playmaker and I could only think of all the dirty tricks grandad taught me, all tested and proven during his many years as the coach of the Tutshill Tornados.

Oddly, when I thought of the upcoming match on Saturday, I felt excitement instead of dread, even though I knew there would be scouts attending and it was important to show them just how great James and I were. Which would mean we had to win and not get too injured in the process.

When the final bell rang, I walked, for what seemed like the first time today, to the common room to leave my book bag in the dorm and grab my Quidditch gear. The common room was almost empty, with most people still leaving class. Lysander was lounging on the windowsill, looking relaxed with a quill tucked behind his ear and a black cat, who was clearly far more friendly than Ziggy, purring loudly while he stroked its fluffy fur.

"Is that your cat?" I asked, walking over to him and leaning against a nearby table.

Lysander grinned at me as he scratched behind the cat's ears, "No, it's Wendy's. Her name is Fury. I think it's supposed to be ironic?"

I shrugged, absentmindedly fiddling with my watch and staring off into the distance.

"Quinn?" Lysander said, looking up at me from Fury. I blinked and turned my head towards him.

"What?"

He stayed silent for a little while like he was contemplating whether it would be a very bad idea to ask whatever it was he wanted to ask. I rolled my eyes. "Out with it, Scamander."

Lysander avoided my gaze and continued stroking Fury. "I don't think I'm good enough and Seth told me there would be scouts on Saturday and I... You and the Captain need a win, I know that. So maybe..." he trailed off, looking worried and a little green in the face.

Oh for fuck's sake. I was definitely the wrong person when someone needed reassurance. I tried to imagine what grandad would have told Lysander if he were one of his players. He would be honest, I knew that. But grandad was also capable of manipulating his blunt honesty into something better. I rolled my eyes again and sighed.

"I picked you. James wanted the other guy, whatever his name was, but I picked you. Because you're ruthless and you'll do whatever it takes and you're good. That should be enough for you. And if it's not," I frowned at him as he looked at me with wide eyes, "If it's not, then you should get the fuck off our team. So either you trust my judgement or you don't. Now, stop petting that cat and get your bloody gear. We've got practice."

Before I started climbing the staircase I threw one last look at Lysander who was staring at my back, "Oh, and stop calling James the Captain."

* * *

Lysander and I were the first ones to arrive at the Pitch. I knew James and Fred had Herbology as their last class so it would take them some time to collect their gear and make their way to practice. But it gave me some one-on-one time with Lysander and I thought that might help with his insecurity.

By the time the rest of the team showed up Lysander seemed much more confident. The fact that he managed to successfully hit most of the charmed moving targets I put up for him probably helped.

We flew down to where everyone else stood, Lysander with a huge grin on his face which quickly disappeared when he saw that both James and Fred looked grim. James must've updated Fred on what was going on. Wendy and Lily were huddled together, talking about something and Seth looked like an overexcited puppy.

"There's something we all need to discuss," James started, looking at all of us in turn, but eventually fixing his gaze on me. He nodded his head towards the locker rooms and we followed him inside, sitting down at the table in front of the blackboard James usually used to explain his plays.

"So, it turns out our match on Saturday is going to be more, uh...," James trailed off, pausing to think of an appropriate word, rubbing his jaw in frustration while he did so, "Challenging than usual. Same goes for all of our matches this year." He sat on top of the table and crossed his arms.

Lily scrunched up her face and looked up at her brother, "Are you going to tell us why or are we just supposed to randomly guess whatever the hell you're not telling us?"

Everyone else stayed silent, staring at James and waiting for an explanation. Everyone except Fred who was absentmindedly flipping through James' playbook.

James ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the ceiling before he told them everything. Lily's face got redder and redder with each word James said until she finally couldn't hold it in any more and she whipped her head to face me.

"So this is your fault?" She rose up from her chair and started yelling, "You just had to break his nose, didn't you? And now all of us," she gestured towards the rest of the team, "have to suffer because of you?! For fuck's sake!" Lily turned towards James, "Just kick her off the team!"

Fred made a sort of choking sound, Wendy and Lysander had almost identical shocked expressions on their faces, Seth's fists were clenched tightly and James looked furious.

I stood up and crossed my arms as I looked down at Lily, "How is it my fault that Osborne is a fucking dick? And where the fuck do you get off saying I should be kicked off the team?! Potter, I'm the best fucking player this team has!" I spat out and realised I was suddenly very close to Lily and my right hand was holding my wand tightly.

Seth was suddenly standing between us, holding me, obviously worried I might punch or curse Lily but no one else said anything. I looked at James, still sitting on top of the table, staring at his sister furiously, as if he couldn't quite believe her.

"What do you say, James," I started and he immediately locked eyes with me, his furious expression temporarily gone, replaced with something else entirely, "Am I off the team?"

He walked up to me and put his arm around my shoulders, facing the rest of the team with a smirk. "Of course not," he said and turned towards Lily, frowning at her angry face, "And I would've expected better from my sister."

"James...," Lily started, "This is important for you, for your career."

James scoffed at her, "My friends are more important. Quinn is... I'm not letting a dick like Osborne ruin anything. So you better start acting like a team member instead of... I don't even know what."

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed, "Fine. Quinn," she looked up at me, "I'm sorry. I would've probably punched Osborne, too, if I had the chance. I just -"

"You're just worried. I know. Stop worrying," I interrupted her. Instead of sitting around talking about things we should've been practising. But Lily was always a little dramatic.

I sat back down and looked at James expectantly, "So...What's the plan for Saturday?"

James smiled and started talking about all the plays he thought up, drawing various diagrams on the blackboard and explaining various moves he wanted us to focus on during practice.

"And what about the fouls? We should practice doing them in a way that wouldn't earn us a penalty," I said after James finished explaining a particularly complex play involving all the Chasers and one Beater. Lysander was taking notes.

"Fouls?" James asked with raised eyebrows. Lysander looked up from his notes like he was contemplating whether he should write this down as well.

I stood up and walked up to James, "Well, not just fouls. I know a fair amount of dirty tricks we should use."

"We're not playing dirty, Quinn! I'm not going to stoop to their level," James muttered and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh yeah, we bloody are. You know why? Because everyone else is and we'd just be levelling the playing field!" I yelled and James just smirked at me. I expected him to yell back. "I'm not about to lose because you're too noble." I stuck out my tongue at him and he started to laugh.

He raised his arms in defeat. "Fine, we'll do this your way."

I spent the better part of the next half an hour telling them of everything grandad taught me and we spent the next three hours practising James' plays with fouls and dirty tricks. By the time practice was finished we were all slightly battered despite the Cushioning Charms James and Fred cast on everyone.

After we all showered James once again gathered us in front of the blackboard. "Keep your brooms in your dorms when we're not practising. I don't want to make it easy for them to tamper with the brooms." Everyone nodded and started to leave. I was about to follow Fred and Seth out the door when James stopped me. "Quinn, stay." I nodded and we waited until everyone else left, Wendy and Lily occasionally throwing curious looks my way.

When Lysander closed the doors behind him, I turned towards James.

"What?" I asked, expecting him to go on a tirade about how he's the Captain. Instead, he smirked again and winked at me, mussing up his hair.

"I like it when you're acting all feisty," he said in a husky voice, looking me up and down, his eyes finally settling on my own and glinting with mischief.

I laughed at that even though the comment made my blood boil slightly and not in an angry way, "You're just taking the piss. You don't think I was undermining your authority?"

"Well, you've been doing that since the day I met you and I'm still here, aren't I?" He said and moved closer, enveloping me in a tight hug, the minty scent of his shampoo familiar and comforting. I put my head in the crook of his neck and let him hold me.

"Yeah. You are." I looked up at him and he smiled.

James reached up and put the hair that fell into my face behind my ear, touching my cheekbone and reminding me of the night before, making me shiver again. I almost closed my eyes when the sound of the doors opening made me turn around. Fred walked in, a sheepish look on his face.

"I forgot my broom," he said and we all burst into laughter.


	12. Chapter 12

The week leading up to today's match was tense, which wasn't that uncommon before our matches against Slytherin, but this time around things got a lot more brutal, with Seth sending two Slytherins who tried to hex him to the Hospital Wing with burned skin and partial blindness so Longbottom gave him a week-long detention. Longbottom's house spirit was obvious since he told Seth he could do the detention after the match because he knew James scheduled our practices for every afternoon.

Lily was angry at her secret boyfriend because he kept the whole thing a secret from her. I only knew this because it seemed that I was the designated person to walk in on her and Scorpius while they were either snogging or arguing.

Osborne kept to himself during the hostilities, leaving Byron Hastings and the rest of the Slytherin team to do his dirty business. Jax was persistent like the mumblemumps, trying to talk to me while I ignored him. I felt slightly bad when I saw how stubborn he was to make things right but I was also too angry at him to listen to whatever it was he wanted to say.

At least the whole thing made Wendy stop being angry at me. Instead, she took it upon herself to try spying on the Slytherin team, though it was unsuccessful because her girlfriend figured out Wendy had an ulterior motive while they were snogging in the stands.

I rummaged around my trunk, looking for my lucky sports bra while Dom and Ash did their red and gold makeup, poking their wands around their faces. The rest of our dorm mates were all in various states of getting dressed in Gryffindor colours.

"Aha! Found it!" I yelled, dragging out the black bra from under my pile of A Song of Ice and Fire books. I always wore it to my matches and I've never lost one while wearing it. It's a shame I only bought it last year.

Dominique raised a sceptical eyebrow at the bra dangling from my raised hand. "Are you really that superstitious?"

I threw the bra at her head and narrowly missed it, the bra falling on top of her gold blanket. I really would've made a terrible Chaser. "Mock me all you want, Dominique, but I'm still wearing that thing."

Dom laughed at me, flicked her hair and continued to poke around her face with her wand. I got up from the floor and grabbed the bra, heading over to the bathroom in order to get ready. By the time I got out of the shower and dressed in my Quidditch gear, our dorm was empty and looking as if a red and gold storm blitzed through it, with little bits of decorative paper and glitter from the banners spread around the whole dorm.

I took the Stormwind from its safe place next to my bed, taking a moment to admire its shining handle and the neat, perfectly smooth tail. I tied my hair up in a tight bun because there was no way I would give someone the satisfaction of actually pulling my hair, grabbed my gloves and my bat and left the dorm.

Even the stairs leading down to the common room were decorated with little flying lions but when I actually entered the common room I was almost blinded by all the gold. I suppose that whoever was in charge of decorations felt like our common room was red enough by itself.

My eyes went wide at the sight of Ziggy prancing about, wearing a tiny Gryffindor scarf and not looking bothered by it. He looked up at me with what I knew to be a scowl. "How the hell did anyone manage to put that on you and live?" I crouched down and looked at him seriously, "Ziggy, did you murder anyone recently?"

"Naah, he let me put it on him without a fuss."

I turned my head to see James. He winked at me and gave me a half-smile. Ziggy left, his fluffy tail hitting my leg, and he settled on one of the armchairs, causing a first year to run away after he hissed at her.

Straightening up I looked suspiciously at James. "Admit it, you bribed him."

He put his free arm around my shoulder and grinned, "I might have given him those treats he loves but isn't supposed to eat to distract him."

I rolled my eyes at him but he just squeezed my shoulder and we started to walk towards the portrait hole. We walked in comfortable silence for a little while but I could feel the tension radiating from James so I stopped us before we climbed down the Grand Staircase and cocked my head towards an alcove. James sat down on a ledge and I put my gear next to him, freeing my arms to grab him by the shoulders. He looked up at me, his hazel eyes locked with mine.

"James…," I started and he put his own hand over one of mine, entwining our fingers but staying silent. The physical contact seemed like it took some of the tension from him and transferred it over to me because I suddenly felt like there wasn't enough room for us both. But I stayed still, knowing James needed to hear what I had to say.

"I know you're worried. And I know you know I'm going to tell you to stop worrying. But you also know I've got your back. Hell, I've got the whole team's back. We're awesome and they're a bunch of cheating wankers and they're not going to win. You told us to hold off on dirty play except if it becomes absolutely necessary and I'm fine with that. I know you don't want to win playing dirty. But… I'm not about to let them stop the two of us. So…," I trailed off, unsure of what I was going to say next because suddenly, James was standing and he was leaning down, his hands gripping my waist. He touched his forehead to mine. "We're going to bloody win," he whispered and we grinned at each other, something indescribable passing between us while we stood there in silence.

* * *

I piled food on my plate, filling it to the brink with all of my favourites while both Dom and Ash watched me with expressions that were a combination of mild disgust and shock. They were dressed and painted from head to toe in red and gold. Ashley even conjured up an illusion of a lion to follow them around and roar occasionally.

"What?" I asked them between bites of toast. Fred was just sitting there, glumly murmuring plays under his breath while James was shooting daggers at the Slytherin table. Neither of them ate much of anything. The rest of the team looked to be in good spirits.

"Is your game plan to vomit all over the Slytherins?" Dom asked.

"Sod off, I have a cast iron stomach and I'll need my strength if we want to win this thing." I still haven't told the two of them what was going on.

The owls swooped in the Great Hall carrying the morning post. I looked up more out of habit than because I actually expected a letter and I shouldn't have bothered. There was no Odin and no other owls made their way towards me. I saw Antigone dropping off letters in front of James and taking off after he stroked her wings. The illusory lion let out a magnificent roar at a couple of owls, causing them to screech and flap their wings in fear.

James opened his letters and a small smile appeared on his face. He looked up at me from across the table and threw me one of the letters. "This one is for you."

A couple of chocolate frogs were in the envelope along with the special Honeydukes dark chocolate which was one of my favourites. I opened the letter and immediately recognised the handwriting.

 _Dear Quinn,_

 _I hope your start of the school year was great and that you're not getting into too much trouble (sadly, I can't say the same for James because Neville has sent me a letter about what he dubbed as the Slytherin spider incident). I was waiting until the first match of the season to write because I know you're bound to be busy with training and schoolwork, N.E.W.T. year is hard, and even when you're not busy, you're quite terrible at writing letters (imagine I'm laughing)! James has written that you've been having some trouble with your family and I don't want to pry too much but he wasn't exactly forthcoming with information, he's loyal to a fault, so I'm hoping things are getting better. If they're not, you know you can always come to me and Harry and you're always welcome at Godric's Hollow. Al has also written that the two of you have smoothed things over. I'm glad to hear that and please, for the love of Godric, try not to antagonise Lily too much._

 _You don't need it, but good luck with the match!_

 _Love, Ginny_

 _PS Harry sends his love!_

I was grinning by the time I finished reading the letter and my whole body felt warm. The image of Ginny hugging me close every time I would visit played in my mind and my eyes found James. "Your mum is the best," I said, even though my heart constricted a little when I thought of my own mother, not caring enough to even send me a letter. I chased that thought away from my head, unwrapping one of the chocolate frogs and stuffing it in my mouth before it could jump away.

"I know," James said, winking at me.

I looked sideways at Dom and spied a banner neatly rolled up between her and Ashley.

"Oh hey, did Wendy make that?" I asked them, reaching for the banner and unrolling it. It was quite big with a life-like lion eating a snake. The words 'HEAR ME ROAR' were painted above the picture.

Dom nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, she did! She's such a great artist, I feel like that painted lion is more real than the one Ash conjured." Wendy blushed at the compliment, looking slightly dazed when Dom flashed her a brilliant smile.

"I told her to put 'Hear me roar' on it," I said to no one in particular, but feeling very smug as the Slytherins stared at the banner which Ash levitated above us.

"You would," Seth said as he sat down next to me and put an entire muffin in his mouth. He chewed it quickly and somehow managed to swallow the whole thing in one go. "You'd make a great Lannister, Quinn," he said, eyeing the banner. He took out his wand and waved it in the direction of the banner, muttering a spell I couldn't quite hear. Suddenly, the lion actually ate the snake and winked at the crowd now watching. Moments later, the snake reappeared and the whole scene played out again.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Blackwood."

Wendy got up from her place at the table and patted Seth on the back, "That was some really nice spellwork, Seth! Would you teach me later?"

Seth turned his head slightly and grinned at her, "Of course, love."

"Sorry, I'm the only one allowed to call her love." Wendy's girlfriend appeared at her side, casually hugging her around the shoulders. She was dressed in Slytherin green, except for the Gryffindor scarf around her neck. She was also incredibly pretty, tall and willowy, with straight black hair that came up to her shoulders. "Hi, I'm Thalia."

We all said our hellos while Wendy stood there, looking slightly embarrassed. She obviously didn't think Thalia would show up at our table but I thought it was cool that they didn't let House hostilities come between them.

"I came to wish you good luck," she said to Wendy and leaned in, snogging her in front of the whole Great Hall. There were a couple of wolf whistles and I rolled my eyes at the stupid boys from the Ravenclaw table who stopped on their way out of the Hall to stare at them. Thalia and Wendy finally came up for air, slightly out of breath. Thalia turned away from us and started walking away, "May the best team win and all that!" she shouted at us, winking at Wendy, "Which is obviously Slytherin." Wendy stuck out her tongue at her and Thalia laughed, walking away, swaying her hips slightly.

"I assume you haven't told her anything," I said as Wendy sat down next to me, nibbling on a piece of toast.

Wendy shook her head, "No. I didn't want to… I don't know. She would only get angry and protective and it's not like she can do anything about it."

"Yeah, well. At least she's there for you," I said, in a weird and absolutely out of character moment of wisdom. Wendy flashed me a grateful smile but didn't say anything else.

James got up from the table which seemed to be the cue for all of the team to follow. I grabbed the Stormwind from the bench along with the rest of my gear and followed him out of the Hall, Fred walking beside me and the rest of them silently trailing behind us. Dom and Ash cheered us on as we walked, the conjured lion walking alongside us and roaring occasionally. I felt excitement and adrenaline coursing through me. Throwing one last look at the Slytherin team huddled around Jax, I smirked and we exited the Hall and the castle.

* * *

It was cold but sunny outside, a cloudless sky overhead when we entered the locker rooms. Since none of us left our gear here, there was nothing to do but wait for Lorcan Scamander to announce the start of the match. James paced around the room, Fred was tapping his foot against the floor, Seth was flexing his fingers and the rest of us were just sitting down. The wait before the match was something I hated, but it had to be endured so I calmed myself down by thinking about grandad and everything he taught me.

The thumping of numerous feet across the grounds coming towards the Quidditch Pitch made me even calmer. It was a familiar sound and I knew that in a couple of minutes, when everyone was settled, we would finally be flying out and I would be doing what I do best.

Lorcan's magically amplified voice boomed out. "Welcome to the first Quidditch match of the season between long-standing rivals, Slytherin and Gryffindor! While Slytherin's team is the same as last year, James Potter, the Gryffindor captain, has had to rebuild his team." Some cheering could be heard before Lorcan continued. "And now, without further ado, let the match begin! The Slytherin team is led by their brilliant Keeper, Jackson 'Jax' Wood," Lorcan was temporarily interrupted by cheering and booing in equal measure as Jax presumably flew out, "followed by the Chasers, Virginia Kent, Byron Hastings and Cassandra Dryden! Next up is the Beater duo, Ryder Nash and Julian Marlowe, and, bringing up the rear, Scorpius Malfoy as Seeker!" I could hear more loud cheering as the Slytherin team flew around the Pitch.

We all straddled our brooms, prepared to fly out when Lorcan called our names. I stood behind Wendy who was incredibly relaxed for someone about to play their first match.

"And now, the Gryffindors!" More shouting and cheering, and I could hear the magnificent roar from Ashley's lion. "James Potter," James zoomed out, followed closely by Fred and Wendy, "is leading the undefeated team, with Fred Weasley and their new Chaser, Wendy Nott!"

The Stormwind was vibrating softly underneath me, almost as if the broom was full of adrenaline as I was, waiting for my name to be called. At this point I wasn't listening too closely to what Lorcan was saying about Wendy, I was just waiting and waiting and wishing he would stop babbling until finally he yelled out my name and I flew out into the Pitch to be met with cheering as loud as James got.

"... the most vicious Beater Hogwarts has ever known…" Lorcan trailed off because he was unable to compete with the boos from most of the crowd that wasn't wearing red and gold today.

I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was flying and the power I felt as the Stormwind flew effortlessly, my Beater's bat safely in my right hand. I hovered behind the Chasers as Lorcan called out his brother and finally, Seth (who got a lot of boos from the Ravenclaws) and Lily.

We flew together towards the ground where North was waiting for us. I didn't look at Jax as he and James shook their hands, I was more busy eyeing up the Beaters. Nash and Marlowe could be nasty, but I was sure Lysander and I were more skilful. I threw a discreet look at Lysander and was glad to see he was paying attention to the opposing team, looking for any possible weakness. I smirked. This was going to be a good match.

When North blew his whistle, I didn't bother looking at who won the Quaffle, instead, I flew up quickly, searching the sky for the Bludgers.

* * *

Half an hour into the match, James had to call a time-out. The whole team was bloody and bruised, but none more than Lily, who seemed as if she was on the brink of passing out. The score was 120 to 70 in our favour but the Slytherins were mercilessly committing fouls. It gave us more penalties, but it also meant we were getting tired way too fast.

We huddled together on the side of the Pitch, with Fred keeping Lily upright while James did some healing spells on her with a murderous look on his face. I cocked an eyebrow at Lysander and nodded at him, "Remember what I taught you?" I asked and he grinned at me.

"Of course. Can we do that now?" He asked, throwing a worried look at James.

I rolled my eyes, "Look at the state of us," I said as James turned his attention towards the rest of us and I looked him in the eye, "James, we bloody need to –" He held up a hand and I stopped talking.

James' face was dark as he looked at each of us in turn, "We're doing whatever the fuck we need to do to fucking win."

And with those words, we were off.

Lysander and I both aimed at Jax, hitting him with two Bludgers at once, giving all three of our Chasers free reign with the Slytherin hoops while the Slytherins took care of their Keeper, preventing him from falling. Kent was always a little in love with Jax so she missed the penalty shot they were awarded.

I zoomed about the Pitch, elbowing Ryder in the face while North was looking the other way, and causing him to almost fall of his broom, giving me time to hit the Bludger towards Scorpius. He would have a hard time catching a Snitch since I was pretty damn sure his dominant arm was currently for shit.

Lysander caught my eye as he flew towards Marlowe, blocking him, and hitting the Bludger at such a close distance that Marlowe now had a broken nose and he had to fly down so Madame Bones could fix him up. I grinned at Lysander. That was a fantastic move since it wasn't exactly a foul.

I flew straight at Hastings who was dangerously close to our hoops while Seth was busy dodging a Bludger that nearly ripped of his arm. Hastings looked at me with wide eyes, unbelieving that I would actually crash into him, and yet, I wasn't stopping, the Stormwind flying towards him so fast that he barely managed to dodge in the last second, dropping the Quaffle in the process and it was James who caught it. He winked at me as he flew past and I threw him a grin. This was one of the moves we practised together.

The match got more and more brutal after that. My whole body was hurting and I had lost count of how many times I was fouled by one of the Slytherins, though I had also lost count of how many times I elbowed someone or committed a different foul. The adrenaline coursing through me helped with the pain but I hoped Lily would catch the Snitch soon. Wendy was bleeding from a cut on her forehead, Seth was holding his side whenever the Slytherin Chasers weren't holding the Quaffle, at least both Fred and James were still flying strong but it was only a matter of time before one of them made a mistake.

Lorcan called out the result each time someone scored but the match was too even and at this point, it all depended on who caught the Snitch. I flew towards Lysander who was hovering near the Slytherin hoops, with Jax eyeing him warily. He was cocky enough to still throw me a flirtatious wink when I flew past him. I rolled my eyes and stubbornly ignored him.

"I think it's time we deal with Scorpius," I said and Lysander nodded. The idea was for him to trail Scorpius and derail him while I dealt with the rest of the game. "And Lysander," I started, narrowing my eyes in the direction of Scorpius and Lily, flying close together, searching for the Snitch and apparently yelling at each other about something, "Forget he's a friend."

It was a solid plan as Lysander flew towards the Seekers but it soon became apparent that our plan was irrelevant because before Lysander even reached them, Lily almost crashed into Scorpius, slapped him (sort of because that's quite difficult to do on a broom. I would know.), yelled at him and flew off towards the other end of the Pitch, leaving Scorpius staring after her with a bewildered look on his face.

And while we all watched the bizarre scene unfold, the match seemingly forgotten, Wendy scored another goal, North yelled out a penalty because of Lily's actions and Lorcan screamed in delight. "AND GRYFFINDOR WINS! LILY POTTER HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!"

* * *

To say that we were all a little dumbfounded when we gathered in the locker rooms would be an understatement. Fred was carrying Lily on his shoulders who looked dazed and was still clutching the golden Snitch. He sat her down at the table and she grinned at all of us.

"Great match, huh?" Lily said and Fred burst out laughing, holding his sides while he did so because, at some point, Nash _accidentally_ crashed into him. Fred's laughter was contagious and soon we were all laughing, even James who, just moments before, looked as if he couldn't quite believe that the match was over or that we won.

I stood up and winced in pain, walking slowly to my locker. I opened it and grabbed the bottle of Firewhisky I had stashed there. I waved my wand and conjured us some glasses, filling them each with a little bit of Firewhisky.

James got up from his place at the table and raised his glass, "To the best fucking team!"

The burn of the whisky was familiar and I grinned widely as everyone except James made their way to the showers. There was going to be a party in the common room when we got back.

James made his way towards me and took my hand. "Do you want me to fix you up?" He asked in a soft voice. I didn't give much thought to the way my body was abused during the match, but I knew I probably did need to be healed. The way I elbowed, shoved and flown myself into Bludgers and people was not something I would recommend. I nodded at him and took off my sweaty, dirty and bloody Quidditch robes, leaving me in my lucky sports bra and the Gryffindor knickers Fred bought me. James laughed when he saw them.

"You were brilliant today," He said, crouching in front of me as he waved his wand over my bruised body and I felt an unexpected rush of blood to my face. I might not give them out often, but I sure as hell liked to be complimented. "That move you pulled on Hastings… It was perfect." James looked up at me and gave me a smile, his hand hovering over a bruise on my ribs, nearly touching me but not quite. I shivered and he looked away.

"The move that _we_ pulled. Together," I said and ran my fingers through his dark hair as I used to when we were kids. "James…" He looked up at me again, "It was a good match, you know that, right? We need to be better but we were fucking great today. You and I were fucking great."

James smirked at me then and this time he did touch me, my skin burning like it was on fire. "I know we were."

By the time we all showered and made our way back to the common room, the party still wasn't in full swing. There was lots of food but no alcohol yet, as Dom was still in Hogsmeade, buying the stuff. The music was playing loudly and the first years seemed overexcited but I didn't mind it. I thoroughly enjoyed being celebrated by my housemates.

Not wanting to party in my leggings and Quidditch team sweater, I climbed the stairs to my dorm. Ashley hugged me when I closed the door behind me, grinning like a madwoman, her wild hair tickling me. "You were amazing!" She yelled at me and I slightly winced at the volume of her voice which was followed by a loud roar and that's when I realised that the conjured lion was still following her around and he was currently lounging on the floor of our dorm.

I peered around Ash to look at the lion in wonder. He was very lifelike. "Er, thanks. Ash, you do know that the lion is still –"

She laughed at my confusion, "He'll disappear after a while. Isn't he cool? I named him Plato…" Ash trailed off while I was rummaging around my trunk, looking under my bed and even peeked into Ziggy's den. I faced her and narrowed my eyes. I knew there was a reason she was so chipper.

"Ashley, where are all my clothes?"

She flashed me a grin and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "You mean all your boring black jeans and T-shirts?" Ash asked in a sing-song voice.

"Yes."

"Dom and I decided this party was the perfect occasion to show your Gryffindor spirit and wear something… Red." She gestured towards my bed where the dress she bought me for my birthday was neatly folded. "We hid your other clothes. Temporarily."

I sighed and rolled my eyes at her. "You do know I could just summon them, right?" I said, waving my wand around and it sent out a couple of gold sparks in the air.

Ashley snorted, "Do you really think we didn't put a charm against summoning on them? What do you take us for?" She asked, sticking out her tongue at me. "I dare you to wear the dress."

I gave out another sigh. She knew I would never back down from a dare. And it's not like I have a problem with wearing dresses, I just prefer not to most of the time. So I shed my comfortable clothes and replaced them with the skin-tight blood-red monster that barely covered my ass.

Ash wolf-whistled and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "I have a great taste in clothes, you look fucking hot."

"I always look fucking hot." Appropriately, the lion roared.

"You're so modest, Quinn," Ashley said, taking hold of my shoulders and nudging me towards the door. The music has been growing steadily louder while I was getting dressed and now, as we descended the stairs, it felt like we were in The Howler and not in the Gryffindor Tower. I hoped someone remembered to put a Silencing charm around the common room or else Longbottom might crash our party.

I spied Dom lounging in one of the armchairs, sipping a Butterbeer. She waved at us and blew me a kiss. I assumed it was because of the dress. Ashley went over and sat down next to Dom, the lion following close behind her. I walked over to the makeshift bar. This time, it was Lorcan who was manning it since only Gryffindors were allowed at the party. The rest of the team was standing around him, giving their orders, their backs turned towards me. I tapped Seth on the shoulder and he turned around, a glass of Firewhisky in his hand. His mouth opened as if to say something, but the only word that came out was 'Wow'.

I took the glass from his hand, downed the Firewhisky and gave the glass back to him. I smirked, "Thanks, Blackwood."

The others turned around as well, all staring at me. Fred was grinning wildly while he looked me over and he whispered something to James, who nodded, not taking his eyes off of me.

"Give me a Serpentgin," I said to Lorcan and he handed me the glass with the green liquid while Wendy dragged Lily and Lysander to the middle of the common room and they started dancing in a weird group circle thing. I leaned against the bar and watched them, a grin playing on my lips as I noticed Fred making his way towards Ashley.

"You look bloody amazing," James whispered in my ear, his hot breath tickling my neck. He moved away slightly and gave me a wolfish grin. He was dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt that fit him well, showing off his muscles.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I said in a teasing tone as I sipped on my drink. Seth stood next to James, still looking a little shocked. I drank the rest of the Serpentgin and took both of their hands, dragging them towards Wendy, Lily and Lysander, who was once again shirtless. We danced together, jumping and swaying to the music, deliriously laughing, happy that we won.

I felt a pair of hands around my waist and I turned my head slightly to see Seth grinning down at me. I grinned back but danced away from him, hugging Wendy and dancing with her for a while and then we both grabbed Lysander, twirling him between us like a couple of fools. And then both James and Seth joined us again, both smiling widely and Lily was sitting on Seth's shoulders, hands in the air, singing loudly along to the song that was playing.

I don't know how long we danced, but I left them all to grab another drink from Lorcan. I made my way to one of the open windows, breathing in some fresh air, clearing my head a little bit. I was surprised at the fact that it was already dark outside. It seemed like we just ate breakfast and played the match. I leaned against the window and watched as Lorcan got yelled at by one of the seventh year boys for having no Firewhisky. I rolled my eyes because Dom probably bought the booze according to her own tastes and she wasn't the biggest fan of Firewhisky.

"James has a stash of Firewhisky in his dorm, we'll go get it, okay?" I asked Lorcan but made sure to look at Jason Campbell, the guy who yelled at him. Lorcan nodded with a grateful expression on his face and I looked around, searching for James.

I couldn't find him at a glance because he wasn't dancing with the rest of the team so I walked around, making my way through the crowd, searching for his familiar form. When I neared the fireplace I saw him. He was sitting on one of the sofas, Trinity Gladstone next to him, her hand on his knee and she was saying something to him while he nodded along absentmindedly. I walked over to them, a surge of annoyance coursing through me.

"James, do you still have that stash of Firewhisky under your bed?" I asked, completely ignoring Trinity and her offended face.

"Yeah. Are we out of booze already?" James said, throwing a look towards the bar, running his fingers through his hair.

"Just Firewhisky. Let's go get it and then you can get back to your…" I trailed off, finally glancing at Trinity, "whatever the hell this is." James raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything as he stood up and followed me to the stairs.

We climbed in silence though I could feel James staring at the back of my head all the way up. When we finally reached his dorm and closed the door, muffling the music somewhat, he broke the silence.

"Why does Trinity annoy you so much?" He asked, though his tone wasn't angry. It was teasing. James faced me and crossed his arms.

I scoffed, pushing a strand of dark hair out of my eyes. "She's an annoying person," I said, not breaking eye contact.

James moved a couple of paces closer to me, so close, in fact, that I could see the flecks in his eyes clearly under the moonlight that shone down on us.

"I think you're lying," He said in a husky voice, dropping his arms to the sides. My breathing quickened and my pulse raced at the tone of his voice, at his closeness.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said, trying to sound mad but my voice was low, almost a whisper. James moved even closer. I didn't move away from him.

"I think," He started and leaned down, "that you're jealous." My eyes went wide when he said that and just as I was about to respond with something definitely intelligent that also definitely involved some form of the word 'fuck', James crashed his lips on mine, pulling me close with one hand around my waist and the other tangled in my hair, and all the intelligent responses in the world disappeared from my mind.

Because James was delicious, his lips were like fire on mine and when his tongue parted my lips, it felt like I had woken up from a slumber and my hands were suddenly all over him, pulling him closer until we were pressed together and I could feel him getting hard. He moved from my lips to my neck, sucking on the exposed skin of my collarbone as his hand made its way from my waist to grab my ass and then under my dress and soon, my black knickers were on the floor and his fingers touched me expertly and I let out a moan.

I found his lips again and I couldn't get enough of him. I tried grinding against his fingers but it wasn't enough so I wrapped my legs around him and bit his lip, making him hiss in pleasure. He carried me towards his bed and we crashed down on it. I kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt, feeling him shiver as my cold hands made contact with his skin. He unzipped my dress and I wiggled out of it, naked except for my bra which I slowly unhooked and let it fall while James watched. The moment I was completely naked was like James got a shot of adrenaline in his veins. We kissed hungrily and I scratched at his back, arching into him, making him groan.

He unbuckled his belt and soon we were both naked. Our hands grasped at each other, pulling closer until he finally thrust into me and I moaned loudly, feeling glad for the loud music. We rocked against each other and I sucked on his neck, biting when he hit a particular spot, and his hands were touching me, bringing me closer, making me scream out his name as I came, James following quickly.

We both panted heavily, both out of breath. My chest was falling and rising violently and James stared at my breasts as if transfixed, his fingers lightly touching my ribs, brushing against my breasts, sending little explosions through my body.

He closed the curtains of his bed and we stared at each other in silence. Finally, I couldn't hold it in any longer and I grinned at him and he grinned back, moving closer and kissing me again, hugging me close, our hearts beating fast, in the same rhythm.

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night and all that happened came rushing through my brain. Silently, I gathered my discarded clothes, put them back on and made my way towards my own dorm.

As I lay in my bed, there was only one word floating around my head.

Fuck.


	13. Chapter 13

I couldn't sleep and I couldn't think without flashes of what happened earlier playing out in front of my eyes. James staring at me, James kissing me, James pressed against me, James almost ripping off my knickers, James… I blinked a couple of times, desperately trying to forget the feel of his body against mine. I was usually so good at stowing away whatever the fuck I didn't want to think about somewhere in the back of my mind but James was _burned_ into my brain and I wasn't sure if I could ever purposely forget him.

What the fuck was wrong with me? It was like I had lost my mind when he kissed me, lost any common sense I might've had before that moment, completely thrown it out the window. I couldn't even blame the drinks, at least not fully because I wasn't so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing. I could blame adrenaline from the match and drinks and not getting laid and whatever the fuck else I managed to think of, but really, it was all James' fault. What the fuck was wrong with _him_ would be the better question. Why did he have to fuck up everything, _literally_?

But fuck, he was good, he was like a bloody drug, like he knew exactly what I wanted, what I needed. I never felt like that before. Which made all of it ten times worse. He was my best friend. He was absolutely not someone I should've shagged. Fuck. I couldn't remember if I had ever done something as stupid as this. And I've done plenty of stupid things. James' friendship meant more to me than anything, even though I had a hard time admitting it, and of course, I had to go and bloody ruin it. He ruined it, too. The only explanation for his behaviour that I could think of was that he was, in fact, drunk. After all, the team did start drinking before I showed up. Or maybe he had a concussion from all the times a Bludger hit him during the match. Either way, there was something wrong with him.

I wanted to scream out in frustration but that would mean I would wake up all of my dorm mates so I took it out on my pillow, punching it until it resembled a crumpled black mass instead of something I would sleep on.

Deciding that there would be no sleep for me tonight I threw away my blanket, got out of bed and quietly padded towards the bathroom. I cautiously lowered the door latch, careful not to make a sound and locked it behind me. I hadn't bothered changing into pyjamas so I was still wearing the bloody dress that I partially blamed for tonight's temporary insanity, which is what I decided to call sleeping with my best friend.

Unzipping the offending item meant I got a nice little flashback in the form of James doing exactly the same thing, his fingers lightly brushing against my back, and I groaned, though I wasn't quite sure if it was from frustration, anger or if all the flashbacks made me turned on, which was seriously not something that should have been happening at this point.

I turned on the shower and stood under it, waiting until the water turned scorching hot on my skin, burning away the feel of James, the scent of him. My mind felt like there were a thousand little knives shaped like thoughts swirling around, fighting to get to the forefront, but while the water slowly turned colder I managed to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and held my breath until I ran out of air and by the time the ice-cold water clutched me in its frigid claws I felt slightly less confused. I knew what I had to do.

I stole Dom's wireless and drew the curtains around my bed, casting a Silencing charm around it before I lay down and turned the wireless on, wincing at the cheery song by The Wandless playing. I fiddled around with it until I managed to tune into the Sons of Tyr station. As soon as the dark tones hit me, I felt myself relaxing, the tension leaving me with each note. So I lay there, in darkness, listening to the moody songs, consciously avoiding thinking about anything or about anyone, just letting myself enjoy the music until sunrise.

At some point during my night-time brooding, Ziggy jumped on top of my bed and settled himself next to me, putting his front paws and his fluffy head right on top of my stomach. He still had the Gryffindor scarf tied around his neck and I felt like there was a rock stuck inside my throat when I saw it. I couldn't bring myself to untie it.

When the very faint rays of sun finally appeared, making the darkness around me slightly less dark, I turned off the wireless, dressed in the leggings and sweater discarded the night before and grabbed the Stormwind. I wasn't hungry. The only thing that I felt was the absolute need to be outside, to fly, to not give a fuck about anything. And so I did what I always did when I wanted to let off some steam. I walked down to the Pitch, the early hours of the day feeling considerably colder than yesterday and the air smelled like snow. The sky was mostly overcast, the clouds looming above, virtually concealing the sun behind them, almost as if the weather reflected the wonderful mood I was in.

Winter is coming, I thought to myself with a slight smile that faded as quickly as it appeared.

The grass was slightly frozen and it crunched under my feet as I walked across the grounds, passing Hagrid's hut, the smoke twirling above the chimney and I could hear Hagrid humming to himself inside.

When I finally arrived at the Pitch, I mounted the Stormwind, flying off, higher and higher, until I was amongst the clouds, freezing my ass off, tears from the cold slowly rolling down my cheeks, my hands gripping the broom handle tightly, feeling frozen in place. But no matter how high I flew, how fast I zoomed about, no matter how many times I flew towards the ground at high speed, straightening the Stormwind at the last second before I crashed, there were still morsels of tension left inside me, clutching at my insides.

I probably shouldn't have sneaked off in the middle of the night, I found myself thinking, and immediately, I cursed myself and flew in a spiral around the hoops, making my mind go blank.

I stayed there for hours, I just couldn't stop flying, the feeling of freedom and carelessness was addictive. If only I could fly forever. But I couldn't and I wasn't a fucking coward who would truly want to run away from her problems, most of which were of my own doing. The whole thing was a mistake and I was sure James would agree with me. I needed to talk to him.

By the time the sun, barely visible through the gathering clouds, was high in the sky, indicating it was at least noon, or maybe sometime past noon, I flew towards the ground, my clothes completely drenched. As soon as I hit the ground, I was freezing. The wind picked up while I was flying and now each time a gust of wind hit me, my wet clothes made the feeling of cold a lot worse. I waved my wand to dry myself off and cast a warming spell around me to last until I got to the castle.

I walked slowly towards the castle, enjoying the fresh November air even though I just spent half a day outside. Halfway between Hagrid's hut and the castle entrance, Jax Wood crossed my path. He stood in front of me and I saw he was carrying his own broom.

Jax raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Are you going to listen to what I have to say?" He asked.

I wanted to keep ignoring him. I also didn't hate him. Maybe the move Lysander and I pulled on him yesterday made me feel slightly less inclined towards ignoring him. I tilted my head slightly and stayed silent, indicating with one arm that he should say whatever it was he wanted to say. He visibly relaxed, his shoulders less tense as he walked a few paces towards me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what a fucked up dick move Osborne was making," Jax started and ran his fingers through his hair, a habit I had to strongly ignore because it was uncomfortably familiar. "But I really didn't want you to know what an awful Captain I am that I can't even control my own team…" He trailed off, looking me in the eyes. "I…" He rubbed the back of his neck, looking nervous which was almost unheard of when it came to Jax Wood, before he moved even closer, so close that I could feel the warmth radiating off him. "This may sound absurd and like I'm yanking your wand, especially since I know you and you know me and well –"

I rolled my eyes. I was hungry and didn't really fancy standing out in the cold, listening to Jax babble, "Oh for fuck's sake, Jax, what the fuck are you on about?"

He flashed me a grin, "Er, well, okay. I like you. And not just in the sense that I want to fuck you, but also, yes, that too."

I laughed at him. And it wasn't just my usual laugh, I was laughing so hard that I had to hold my sides because they hurt from laughing. It wasn't even funny, I just had a very inappropriate reaction to, well, everything that happened.

Jax looked mildly confused and I couldn't blame him, I was acting mental. So I forced myself to stop laughing and focus on him.

"Sorry, I'm just… Having a very bad day."

"Well, there's a party the day after tomorrow at Hogsmeade, if you want something to look forward to," Jax said, eyeing me. He was undeniably handsome, and wicked. Jax had the devilish good looks, the part-Veela charm he didn't even need to use and he was so easy and not messy. This party he was talking about sounded like a very tempting distraction.

I cocked an eyebrow at him and bit my lower lip. "A party?"

"It's a Slytherin thing but no one will care if you come with me," Jax was now looking at me with a predatory stare and I didn't mind because it meant I could forget about the bloody mess I made. At least temporarily.

"That's Tuesday night."

He shrugged in a careless way, "I sleep through my morning classes anyway."

"That's because you spend your nights shagging instead of sleeping," I retorted and Jax burst out laughing.

"Well, who says Tuesday night will be any different? I want to continue what we started by the locker rooms," He said and closed the small space between us, putting his arm around my waist, fingers resting just slightly above my ass, while his other hand played with the elastic band of my leggings.

I rolled my eyes at him and removed his hands from my body. As I started walking towards the castle, I turned around to see him staring at my retreating form. "Maybe. No strings attached?" I yelled out.

Jax smirked again, "No strings attached."

* * *

When I entered the Great Hall, I was met with the sight of a decidedly hungover Gryffindor table. Only the younger students seemed semi-interested in the food, the rest looked like they were fighting hard to keep what they ate from coming back up. I almost laughed at the fact that, apparently, even without the Firewhisky James and I were supposed to bring, they all managed to get drunk enough.

I spotted James immediately because the moment I stepped into the Great Hall, his eyes found mine and he kept staring at me with an unreadable expression while I walked towards the middle of the long table where he and the rest of my friends were sitting. I felt the rush of blood in my face and the burn of my insides as he watched me, as once again I remembered how his mouth tasted like. James didn't _look_ hungover.

I sat down next to James, putting the Stormwind on the bench, our fingers accidentally grazing, spreading the burn I felt before into a fucking fire inside me. Dom gave me an amused look.

"So, who was it this time?" She asked nonchalantly, a wicked grin on her face. Ashley and Fred perked up at her question and all of their eyes were now on me.

I decided to play very dumb. "Er, what?" I asked, avoiding looking Dom in the eyes, so instead, I found myself a sandwich, biting off a huge chunk of it so it would give me a bit more time to not answer her questions.

Dom made a grimace, "Who'd you shag? Because you weren't there in your bed when we," she gestured towards her and Ash, "woke up."

I chewed my sandwich for a long time. "No one. I just woke up early and went flying," I said, gesturing towards the Stormwind and once again biting off a piece of my sandwich. Dom burst out laughing but didn't press the matter and James, James was fucking smirking. I wanted to punch him. Or maybe fuck him again, I couldn't decide.

Fred was still eyeing me strangely but he didn't say anything. I briefly wondered if he acted on my dare yesterday because the last time I saw him, he was making his way towards Ash. But, judging by the lovestruck looks she was giving to Nathan at the Slytherin table, I thought he probably didn't. Coward.

I smelled her before I saw her. Trinity's perfume, vanilla mixed with some flowery scent I couldn't quite recognise, was strong and when she wrapped her arms around James, putting her blonde head on top of his shoulder, I flinched. James' smirk grew wider.

"Where did you disappear to yesterday?" Trinity crooned in his ear, loud enough for half the table to hear her. "I thought we were meant to...you know…" She trailed off, suggestively placing a kiss on James' neck and I just looked at Fred, who was sitting directly opposite me, with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Fred seemed like he was on the verge of bursting into laughter, though if it was because of the look on my face or because of Trinity, I didn't know.

James shrugged casually, and threw her a sideways look, "I was tired, you know, with the match and all." Trinity nodded sympathetically and sort of massaged his neck before straightening out. "Oh, yes, you played wonderfully, James. I'll see you around later, yeah?" She asked, smiling at him, her perfect teeth on full display. James nodded and she winked at him, walking away from us and joining her friends further down the table, throwing one last look at James before engaging in conversation with her friends.

I continued eating, though the sandwich now felt like ashes in my mouth. James' words floated around my head but I ignored them. There was no reason for me to be _jealous_.

After I finished my sandwich, I grabbed the pitcher of orange juice, and once again James' fingers managed to find their way so close to me that we touched and I closed my eyes briefly, intentionally, thinking of Arithmancy to stop my body from doing something stupid. When I opened my eyes, James was staring at me and the rest of our friends were gone, probably off doing homework.

"We need to talk," I said, averting my eyes from his piercing gaze, giving up on the rest of my lunch, grabbing the Stormwind and starting to walk out of the Great Hall, with James following me.

We climbed the Grand Staircase and walked in silence along the second-floor corridor until I saw a tapestry we both knew hid an alcove behind it. I pushed it aside and entered the alcove, setting the Stormwind against the wall. When I turned around, James was standing very close to me and I stepped back, only for my back to be met with a wall. Maybe talking inside a tight-fitting alcove wasn't my brightest idea.

James threw me a smouldering look and just as I was about to say something, we were kissing again. It felt even better than the night before and I mentally cursed myself for wanting this but I thought I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. For the first time, I thought I understood Dom's explanation about her and Teddy not being able to keep their hands off each other. I tangled my fingers in James' hair, biting his lip, pulling him closer. I heard Stormwind clatter to the ground.

James' hand somehow ended up under my sweater, the cold fingers making me shiver as he trailed them along my ribs, and up, under my bra, stroking my breasts, pinching my nipples between his thumb and forefinger, and I closed my eyes, letting out a mewling sound that only spurred him on, his other hand travelling lower until he slowly, tantalisingly slid his fingers past the waistband of my leggings, past my knickers and finally, he rubbed my throbbing clit and I breathed out a loud moan. I hugged him close as I arched my hips into him, my mouth on his neck. "This isn't… ah," he slipped a finger inside me and worked faster, his thumb still rubbing me, bringing me closer, "What I… came here for," I whispered and James stopped immediately, his head pulling away from me, looking concerned, "Do you want us to stop?" I pulled at his hair and stood on my tip toes so I could kiss him, "If you stop now, I'm going to murder you."

And he was back, my nipples hard between his fingers, my hips straining against him, his lips trailing kisses down my neck and collarbone while he drove another finger into me, making me want to scream, but instead, I bit into his shoulder, his fingers going harder and deeper, until finally I came. I shook with pleasure and he held me up against the wall, both of us panting. I could feel his cock straining against his trousers. I moved my hand from his neck to stroke him and James gasped at the contact, bucking his hips forward and I couldn't stand the foreplay anymore.

"You need to fucking finish what you started, properly," I breathed out, looking into his slightly dazed eyes. He didn't need me to say anything more, his hands already pulling my leggings and knickers down, just enough for him to drive into me, my back pushing against the wall with each thrust he made. I wrapped my legs around him and he lifted me up, moving harder against me, my nails digging into his back as he kissed me, his lips soft and his tongue teasing. I clenched tightly around him, making him let out a guttural sound and he kissed me again to smother the noise of his own scream.

He had to support me against the wall for a while until I felt like I could stand on my own and we both breathed heavily, our breaths mixing and in those moments I almost forgot what I wanted to say to him. But, when he pulled away from me slightly and I tugged my knickers and leggings back up and James was fully clothed as well, I knew I had to say it.

"James…" I started and it certainly wasn't helpful that the look he gave me made me want to fuck him again but I stood my ground. "This," I gestured lamely at the alcove, at us, "We can't do this again, okay? I mean, fine, I guess it was bound to happen at some point, at least when we got drunk, but we got it out of our system now. So… We can go back to the way we were, right? You're my best friend and I can't fuck that up. Well, more than I did already." I even laughed a bit at my own joke but James' expression was unreadable, much like it often was for me lately. I sometimes hated my fucking stupid inappropriate reactions.

"Right," James muttered, his voice sounding uncharacteristically hoarse and his eyes looking everywhere else but at me. He cleared his throat, "Okay, yeah, you're right. I was, um... I was drunk yesterday and now... It just felt good, I guess."

Somehow, James saying he was drunk yesterday when we shagged didn't have the reassuring effect that I thought it would, but at least we were on the same page now. I bent over to pick up the Stormwind, and when I straightened up I gave James a small smile. He looked at me for a moment, just stared at me, his face totally blank, but finally, after what seemed like a lifetime to me, he smiled back.

We didn't talk while we walked back to the common room, and for once, I wasn't quite comfortable with our silence but I had no idea what to say. So, of course, I ended up blurting out something stupid. "Did you ask Lily why she slapped Scorpius?" I almost put a hand over my mouth because I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to talk about the two of them with James, but I stopped myself at the last moment, which meant my hand ended up somewhere mid-air between my side and my mouth, making me look quite absurd.

James looked at me like I was mental and he burst into laughter which was at least better than uncomfortable silence. "Uh, no, I just assumed she wanted to distract him."

I nodded along, pretending to agree with him while I twirled a strand of hair around my finger.

"Did you hear from your parents?" James suddenly asked and I tucked the strand of hair behind my ear, rolling my eyes in the process.

"Nope. I don't think I even want to hear from them." Which was a lie and I was sure James knew it but he let me put on a brave face.

I noticed James was clenching his fists in anger as we walked. "I know you love them but fuck, your parents are stupid," He said, and I was glad, my insides feeling warm because it meant he was still the old James and our friendship was still there.

* * *

After another shower, I realised I really had to do my homework which had turned into a very big pile of neglect. I sighed at the thought, but still, I made my way to the library where I found Dom and Ash doing their own homework at a table next to one of the windows overlooking the lake.

I plopped myself down on one of the empty chairs, put my arms on the table and leaned my head on them, looking from Ash to Dom, hoping they would take pity on me and let me copy some of the homework. I could've asked James for help with Potions (an essay on brewing Amortentia) but somehow that didn't seem like a good idea right now.

"Why do you look like the last time you slept was sometime in the previous century?" Ashley asked without looking up from her essay. Dom was reading a book on dragon mating.

"Does it matter?" I asked with a tired sigh, closing my eyes. I could feel Ash burning a hole in my head with her stare.

"Are you okay, Quinn? You seem… Like something is wrong," She said in a low voice, gingerly patting my arm. I cracked one eye open only to see her concerned face. Dominique also seemed worried about me. I briefly wondered how badly I looked that the two of them would gang up on me with their worry.

"I'm fine, just… Really tired from the match." I wasn't about to tell them I spent the night shagging James and agonising over it, then spent half the day agonising some more and flying, then fucking him again, and then trying to not let it ruin our friendship. There was way too much agonising involved in the whole story. It would be best if we could all forget about yesterday. And today.

"Will you help me with homework?" I asked instead, failing again to pull off a cute face but I must've looked like shit because they eventually did take pity on me, letting me copy their work, even though Ash wanted me to promise I would put school first in the future, what with N.E.W.T.s and all. Yeah right. I stared her down until she relented. I never made promises I knew I couldn't keep.

Even copying down others' work was tiresome and when it got increasingly darker, with the library candles starting to glow with their faint light and the stars twinkling outside, I felt like I could comfortably fall asleep right there at the table, using books as pillows. I yawned and stretched out. Dom and Ash were long gone, having finished their work on time, leaving me alone. I gazed out the window and recognised the owl approaching. It was Odin, which meant another letter from grandad. As I opened the window, a gust of freezing air rushed in, and my Potions essay flew away from the table. Luckily, Fred sauntered over at that exact moment and the essay collided with his face just as Odin landed on the table, staring at Fred and looking quite threatening with his feathers all ruffled.

"Oh, hell no! First you assault me with," Fred paused to read the title, "' _The brewing and practical applications of Amortentia_ ' and then this harbinger of doom," at this he pointed at Odin who screeched, earning us a disapproving look from the librarian, Mr Goldstein, "appears out of thin air with some dastardly purpose!"

I raised an eyebrow at Fred and closed the window. "Why are you talking like a sixteenth-century lady who was waylaid by pirates and now thinks they're going to defile her?" Sitting back down, I took the letter from Odin who was still glaring at Fred.

Fred sat on the window ledge, as far away from Odin as possible, and pouted at me. "I borrowed one of Roxy's romance novels."

I snorted at that but Fred didn't seem to mind.

"So, what's up? James has been acting odd since lunch. He's in the common room alternatively staring into the fire and laughing at Trinity's jokes," He said, frowning. "And Trinity isn't funny."

At the mention of James, I smiled involuntarily and at the same time rolled my eyes at the mention of Trinity. "He's hungover," I said, brushing off Fred's concern. "Did you do the dare I gave you?" I asked in order to distract him.

Fred crossed his arms and determinedly looked up at the ceiling, humming to himself. "Er, not yet. Do you have a deadline for me?"

"Stop being such a wimp. You're cool and handsome, Ashley likes you already, what's the problem?" I put my head in my hands. Oh for fuck's sake, why did I suddenly start involving myself with other people's relationships and playing matchmaker?

"She likes me as a friend."

I started massaging my temples. "Don't be stupid, she liked you well enough to snog you."

"She was drunk," Fred said with a sigh.

" _In vino veritas_ and all that. Just do it already or else I'll have to keep listening to how big Nathan's –"

"Please stop talking."

I shrugged, "Fine. I want you to do it before New Year's. That should be enough time for you to find your nerve."

Odin pecked my hand because I still haven't opened the letter he brought me. I searched around my book bag to find some treats for him so he wouldn't commit mass murder in the library. He devoured them the instant I put them in front of him. Then he glared at the window, which was my cue to open it up again and he flew off into the night. Fred visibly relaxed and I opened grandad's letter.

 _Quinn,_

 _I've heard about the match. Good job on the win, but remember, a win isn't a win unless it's a fucking kill. I understand that there was some questionable play involved but what I don't understand is why you didn't act sooner, beat them with everything I know you know because I fucking taught you. You better be practising with your left arm._

 _In other news, you might want to read the Daily Prophet tomorrow - Augustus Thorne has been arrested, but you didn't hear that from me. Ethan is fine, I know you must be wondering about him, but don't worry, I'm keeping an eye on him. He's been drinking more than usual but he's staying with me so he's sobering up. Selene is still with us, but after tomorrow, I doubt Thorne's associates would have the balls to do anything more._

 _Your parents are currently separated, don't ask me for details because I haven't got a fucking clue. Those two are acting like bloody teenagers. I had to hear it from Ravi Patel. If it weren't for him informing me of things, I would've probably found out when it was reported as some sort of a scandal. Bloody journos. I'm sorry that this is happening and I wish I could do something._

 _I love you,_

 _Grandad_

 _P.S. If Odin comes back smelling of bacon, I won't be held responsible for my actions. You have been warned._

I stared at the letter for a long time, re-reading it over and over again. At first, I just felt irritated at the start of the letter, at the comments about the match, but my parents' separation was an unexpected blow that made my chest constrict. What the fuck was wrong with them? Why the fuck couldn't they have at least told me themselves?

Grabbing all of my stuff and stuffing it into my book bag, I marched out of the library, Fred following me and asking questions that I didn't hear because of the buzzing in my ears. I needed to calm the fuck down but I could feel the anger just boiling under the surface, fighting to get out, making me want to lash out. I must've looked murderous because people kept going out of their way to avoid me while I made my way towards the Gryffindor common room. There was only one person to whom I wanted to talk to.

I climbed through the portrait hole, still clutching the damned letter, already crumpled from the way my fist was clenched. The common room was packed but it wasn't hard to find James. He was sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace and Trinity was straddling him, their lips locked together. They looked like they were about to shag in front of the whole common room.

The letter fell from my hand and my fury was suddenly replaced by strange numbness.


	14. Chapter 14

I have no idea how long I stood in the middle of the common room, staring at James and Trinity. The feeling of numbness was something I couldn't remember experiencing before and I decided that maybe it was even worse than fury. With anger, I knew what I could do to make it go away and this numbness was unfamiliar, uncharted territory and it left me feeling very confused.

At some point, Fred picked up the letter from the floor, shamelessly read it without asking if he could and I was painfully aware of the silence that followed when he finished. I could feel the look he gave me and I hated it because I knew it was one of pity. I didn't need pity.

Trinity was kissing James' neck and he turned his head slightly. His eyes locked with mine and I couldn't look away. He kept staring at me while she was kissing him and all I could think of was that I needed to get out of there because if I stayed, I wasn't sure if my anger would return as quickly as it was replaced by numbness and Trinity seemed like an easy target for me to lash out at because she was there, all over James, when I needed him. Rationally, I knew it wasn't her fault that they were snogging at a time when it was inconvenient for me, but the rational part of my brain seemed to have gone on holiday for the time being.

So I turned on my heel with James still staring at me and I almost collided with Fred who was standing close behind me. "Burn that fucking letter," I said and left the common room.

Walking around the castle at night wasn't my idea of fun, but somehow it was still better than the common room. At first, I thought I would go up to the Astronomy Tower but then I realised how hungry I was. I missed dinner because of homework, my lunch was cut short and I haven't had breakfast so I felt like there was a gaping hole inside of me.

The castle was eerie when almost everyone was in their common rooms, with the exception of Prefects doing their rounds, but I didn't let it bother me while I made my way towards the basement and the kitchens through the dimly lit corridors. I wanted to be alone.

When I walked down to the Entrance Hall, I saw Al coming up from the dungeons. He walked over, a smile playing on his lips but it disappeared when he got a better look at me.

"Quinn? Is something wrong?" He asked, coming closer. Al made as if to put a hand on my shoulder but decided against it. We haven't really talked since that day in Hogsmeade and I had a feeling he was trying to avoid me, and honestly, who wouldn't after the shit I pulled with him. But, we were friends long before we hooked up and I sort of hoped, faintly, that we would be once again some time in the future.

I bit my lip as I looked up at him, his emerald eyes my longstanding weakness and yet, this time, I didn't feel the need to mess around with him.

"It's nothing, I'm actually really hungry. Had to miss dinner because of homework," I answered and continued walking towards the kitchens. Al walked beside me.

"I'll come with you, I'm in the mood for pancakes," He said and put his hands in his pockets.

"How come you're not in your common room?" I asked and just as Al was about to answer, we both turned around because we heard someone running behind us. It was Fred and I rolled my eyes.

"Quinn!" Fred said, doubled-over and clutching his stomach. He was out of breath so he must've run after me all the way from the common room. How he knew I would go to the kitchens, I had no idea. "Oh, hey Al," He waved at Al who was looking at Fred like he thought he was a little bit mental.

I sighed and crossed my arms, leaning against the cold stone wall of the hallway. "What are you doing here?"

Fred finally caught his breath and grinned at me, "What does it look like? I'm keeping you company. I can also be your shoulder to cry on in this dire moment of emotional distress."

Al furrowed his brows, "What –"

"I don't need a fucking shoulder to fucking cry on," I started, getting worked up, "And I'm not in emotional fucking distress!" I yelled at Fred who definitely did not look like he was taking me seriously. I turned away from both of them and started walking. "I'm just fucking hungry! And fucking angry!"

Fred and Al followed me to the kitchens despite the fact that I thought it was pretty obvious I would rather be alone. The brightness of the kitchens, the glint of the brass pots and pans and the warm light of the fire crackling in the huge brick fireplace was almost blinding after the semi-darkness of the rest of the castle. We sat together in the middle of one of the long tables, near the fireplace that radiated a pleasant warmth, and the house elves brought out tons of food, even though there were just the three of us and Al only wanted pancakes.

"So… Will anyone tell me what's going on?" Al asked after devouring a pancake and I had calmed down slightly, but only because I was too busy eating a quiche. I didn't know how I felt. The numbness that came over me was still there, but Fred's words, the implication that I would _cry_ over something as fucking stupid as my parents when I never cried, made my fury resurface.

"My parents are separated. That's it, that's the story, no big deal," I said and shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it, I just want to eat in peace and I have no idea why the two of you decided to follow me here." I glared at Fred. He glared back at me.

"We're here because we're worried about you."

"Well, actually, I had no idea about any –" Al started but Fred raised a finger and he stopped talking. Not even the house elves were making any noise like they were interested in my little drama. Which wouldn't surprise me because I would bet the house elves knew more Hogwarts secrets than anyone else in the whole castle.

Fred put a hand on my shoulder in what I was sure he thought was a comforting gesture. "You should talk to us, it will make you feel better." Why the hell he thought I would appreciate this and want to talk about my fucking _feelings_ was a mystery. He was acting like he just met me and not like someone who had known me for seven years.

I stood up, my cutlery falling on the stone floor with a loud clank, scaring two house elves who were hovering behind me, making them jump, and I walked over to the door.

"I feel fucking fantastic."

* * *

When I got back to the common room there were only a couple of sixth years playing chess near one of the windows. I supposed that everyone else must've gone to their dorms. I briefly wondered whether Trinity was with James, but I quickly banished that thought from my head and climbed up the stairs to my own dorm.

Ashley and Dom were sitting on their respective beds, both of them reading and I hoped they wouldn't be in the mood for pestering me. The rest of our dorm mates were all chattering together about something or other.

"Finished with your homework?" Ashley asked, putting a bookmark in her book and closing it as she looked up at me.

I walked over to my own bed and dropped my bag on the floor next to it. "Uhm, yeah. Listen, I'm dead tired so I'll just go to bed." I didn't wait for her response before making my way to the bathroom.

Standing in front of one of the sinks, I stared at my reflection in the mirror above it. There were dark circles around my eyes, I was pale like a fucking vampire and I still had a couple of cuts and bruises on my head and neck. Some from the match and some… Most definitely not from the match. I rolled my eyes at my reflection and splashed some ice cold water on my face before brushing my teeth.

I closed the curtains around my bed, lit a candle on my nightstand and waved my wand to cast the Silencio charm and only then did I lean over my bed, poked a bit under it until my fingers closed around the bottle of Dragonbreath I kept hidden there for special occasions. I smiled as I unscrewed the top and drank the blood red liquid straight from the bottle. A pleasant warmth spread through me, my fingertips tingling as I lay back down, my head hitting the pillow hard.

I stared at the top of my four-poster and drank some more. I wished that I was with James instead of drinking alone in my bed. I wished that grandad didn't send me that letter. I wished that my parents weren't such fucking idiots. I wished that my brother were here. Ethan always knew how to deal with me. It was us against the world.

The sounds of the dorm quieted after a while. A glance at my watch told me it was almost one in the morning. I wanted to throw the fucking thing away but I couldn't make myself take it off. So instead, I took another swig from the bottle, enjoying the slight burn that the drink left in its wake. The bottle was half finished and my mind was getting fuzzy enough that all the thoughts swirling around it were almost silenced. The only thing I could still see when I closed my eyes was James. The look he gave me while Trinity was kissing him. I shut my eyes tightly and drank some more until even James disappeared.

I woke up to the feeling like I was about to be smothered in my sleep. Cracking my eyes open, I saw Ziggy sleeping on top of my head, covering my mouth and nose. It was difficult to breathe but when I tried to move my head, the pounding was so strong that I decided it would be easier to let myself be murdered by Ziggy instead of actually moving. After a couple of moments of very laboured breathing, Ziggy finally moved slightly and I could breathe properly even though he was still partly covering my head. I sighed when I remembered everything that happened. And then the pain in my head got so bad that it was the only thing I could focus on. I lay there in my bed, unmoving, until my headache dissipated enough that I didn't feel like I would pass out if I moved.

When I finally sat up in my bed and opened my curtains it was only to be met with an empty dorm, the sun glaring way too brightly for my eyes and a note next to my bed written in Dom's handwriting.

 _I tried to wake you, didn't work. Will tell North you're not feeling well._

A quick glance at my watch told me I missed all of my morning classes and that lunch was just about to start. Which meant that my potions essay could now be used to light a fire because North would never accept it late. The bottle of Dragonbreath was lying on the floor next to my bed, almost empty. Fuck. I was in no condition to go to classes and certainly not to eat anything but if I missed more classes, Longbottom would be all over me because of it. I was sure that the excuse of ' _Sorry sir, I got drunk so I could forget about all the fucked up things in my life and I was too hungover to go to class_ ' would not be acceptable.

So I dragged myself out of bed, brushed my teeth, almost drowned myself in the shower because it felt good and wandered down to the Great Hall. I spotted Dom first, she, Ashley and Fred were sitting near the entrance and opposite them were James and Trinity. They were holding hands. I nearly vomited. But I managed to control my gag reflex and sat down next to Fred who promptly slid today's the _Daily Prophet_ in front of me. Nearly everyone at the table was looking at me, either silent or quietly whispering. I knew that the news of my parents' separation must've spread like wildfire. Trinity was openly staring at me, her eyes curious. My friends were silent, but I knew that Fred probably told all of them about the letter, if not yesterday then this morning.

My eyes wouldn't tear away from James and the hand that was entwined with Trinity's, and I felt like there was a huge rock bearing down on my chest. He raised an eyebrow at me and I finally looked away, pouring myself some black coffee in the hopes that it would make me less likely to resemble a vampire. I couldn't bear the thought of food, much less actually eat something so I glanced at the newspaper. It would've been better if I didn't because smack in the middle of the front page were two huge pictures of my parents. Well, one was of my parents arguing in some restaurant and the other was of my mum snogging a bloke that definitely wasn't my dad. It was Riz Khan. A sick feeling came over me, my hands shaking and I spilt coffee all over the _Prophet_ before I even read the title of the article.

Fred poured me more coffee and I drank it in silence, once again staring at James.

"Are you okay?" Dominique asked, pointedly avoiding looking at the soggy paper.

"I'm perfect," I spat out and continued to drink my coffee. After that, they didn't try to engage me in conversation and I was glad because I wasn't sure I wouldn't snap in the middle of the Great Hall and curse someone, literally anyone, who said something to me. My head was still throbbing and I was tempted to ask James for some hangover potion that he brews but one look at him and Trinity talking about some bloody nonsense put a stop to that thought.

"Are you two together now?" I asked them and Trinity beamed at me, nodding enthusiastically.

"Oh, yeah! We've been on and off since that day you caught us," She giggled at this and I was strongly tempted to roll my eyes while Fred raised his eyebrows in surprise, "But yesterday we finally decided to give it a proper go!"

I nodded, trailing my finger over the rim of my cup, my eyes again wandering over to James, our eyes locked together. I tried to smile at him but I think all I managed to do was a grimace. He winked at me, which he probably thought would be reassuring but obviously, it wasn't and my face stayed blank. I averted my gaze, now glaring into my half-empty cup.

"So, your parents –" Trinity started, earning herself a glare from Fred, Dom and Ash and if looks could kill she would've dropped dead. I drained my coffee and slammed the cup on the table, interrupting her.

I got up from the table, feeling slightly dizzy so I had to grab Fred's shoulder to steady myself. "I'm going to class," I said and left them sitting there, staring at my back.

While I made my way to the fourth floor where we had Defence Against the Dark Arts classes, I half expected James to come after me so we could talk but he didn't. Instead, I found myself opening the wooden door of the classroom to discover Jax Wood sleeping at one of the tables in the furthest row from the teacher's desk. There was no one else in the classroom since we still had ten minutes until class actually started. Jax had sunglasses on even though we were inside the castle and the room was already quite dim and he was using his messily folded robes as a pillow while what he was actually wearing was a leather jacket over his white school shirt.

I sort of collapsed next to Jax, startling him awake, which was quite funny because he fell from his chair, letting out a very silly sound in the process, and I laughed properly for the first time since this whole mess started. Jax laughed, too, his sunglasses askew as he got up from the floor, stretching out, which made his untucked shirt ride up and give me an enticing view of his v-line.

He sprawled himself over the chair and the table, somehow taking up all this space around me. Jax leaned his head on one hand and looked me over, slowly raising his sunglasses with his other hand.

"You look like shit," He said and smirked, "I'd still fuck you, mind, but what the fuck happened?"

I laughed a little more and rolled my eyes, though I actually enjoyed Jax being so openly flirty and shameless. "Let's be real, you'd fuck anything with a pulse, so I'm not sure how is that a compliment."

"Of course it's a compliment and even I have standards," Jax said, pulling out some minty gum from a jacket pocket. He offered it to me and I took one, the minty taste welcome to my stomach and pounding head. Massaging my temples, I leaned over the desk and closed my eyes.

"So, what happened?" Jax asked again, moving slightly closer. Close enough that I could smell the seductive, spicy and woody scent of his aftershave.

Cracking one eye open I looked at him. Unexpectedly he had an expression that could be classified as worry etched on his face. Maybe I should've bothered with putting on makeup or something. Quickly, I dismissed that thought because even just getting out of bed was a painful ordeal, so makeup, which I don't bother with unless I'm going out because I usually value sleep a little more than mascara even though it does make me look better, was out of the question.

"Don't you read the newspapers?"

Jax shrugged carelessly, a half smile playing on his lips. "Sometimes. Most of the time I don't. It's not fun to read articles about how fit my mum is and stuff like that."

"Well, how would you like to see your mum snogging a bloke on the front page of the _Daily Prophet_?" I realised it was probably a stupid question the moment the words left my mouth. Jax's parents were never married and his mum has been featured on numerous magazine covers. I closed my eyes again because it was far easier than squinting because of the light coming into the classroom.

"It's happened before but I don't really care. She can snog or shag whoever the fuck she wants. But then again, we've never been a family," He said in a casual tone, "And my parents were never together."

"Yeah, well… I'd have liked for them to at least tell me. I had to find out from grandad who was told by Ravi Patel, you know who he is?" I asked. There was no way in hell I would tell him about the fuck-up that was shagging James. Even thinking about him made me hurt even more.

"I know. But who the fuck cares, right?"

I snorted at that. "The majority of the school. But I'm not bothered by that. What I am bothered with is that people seem to think it's a great idea to ask me questions. It doesn't help that I made the executive decision to drink more than half a bottle of Dragonbreath before passing out yesterday so my head feels like there are Hippogriffs running around inside. And I have Quidditch practice later. Godric, I need motivation not to kill anyone today."

Jax put a small potion bottle before me, filled with pink liquid that I recognised as hangover potion. "I can't fuck you if you're in Azkaban," He said, winking at me with a grin, and yet, somehow, he managed to sound deadly serious.

"That's excellent motivation, I've heard you're great in bed," I retorted, uncorking the small bottle and drinking the potion in one go. It was sweet and tasted of cinnamon. A tingling sensation spread through my body, starting from my head all the way to my toes, my headache disappearing immediately with the potion leaving a feeling of bliss in its wake. This wasn't the typical way a hangover potion worked, usually, it just made all the effects of a hangover disappear. I looked at Jax with wide eyes and a huge smile because somehow it became impossible not to smile.

"Feeling good?" He asked.

"What was in –"

Jax tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his fingertips leaving tingles along my cheekbone, going straight to my head, which seemed to be another effect of whatever it was in that hangover potion. "It's just a bit of highly modified Elixir of Euphoria mixed in. There's only a couple of drops in this one, though, so it'll wear off in a minute or two. Sorry, I didn't have the regular hangover potion so this is the next best thing. Or, in my opinion, a much better thing," He said, a devilish grin playing on his lips.

"You should've given me this earlier, it's bloody amazing," I said, poking his hand and enjoying the weird tingly sensation that originated in the tip of my finger and spread through me. I tried it again but this time I poked him in the shoulder, touching his leather jacket. Nothing happened and I pouted at Jax.

"Doesn't work like that. Just skin on skin contact," Jax whispered, cocking an eyebrow and staring into my eyes, sounding very pleased at the implication of his words.

I opened my mouth to say something witty but at that moment the doors of the classroom opened and Osborne appeared, followed by Jonathan and some of his other friends. A smug smile appeared on his face when he saw me. Not even the Elixir of Euphoria, highly modified that it was, could stop me from grabbing my wand and pointing it at him. Jax took a hold of my arm and lowered it slowly, not even looking at Osborne who was now laughing at me with his friends. "He's a wanker and absolutely not the reason you should get detention and not be able to come with me tomorrow night."

Suddenly drained of energy, I let go of my wand, still glaring at Osborne. I couldn't bring myself to care, it took too much effort. Wondering how the hell was I supposed to get through practice later, I somehow didn't notice when the rest of my classmates appeared. At least not until James sat down at the table in front of the one where Jax and I were sitting, Trinity taking the empty chair next to him.

I never actually agreed to come with Jax to this Slytherin thing in Hogsmeade but suddenly it seemed like a good idea. "What should I wear to this _party_?" I asked, drawing out the word party far longer than necessary.

Jax gave me a wicked look. "I would rather you didn't wear anything."

* * *

We were supposed to be learning how to cast a Patronus. Professor Thomas told us not to worry if we only manage a silvery mist but I was failing so spectacularly that literally nothing came out of my wand. Not even mist. Everyone else managed to produce something, though no one produced a corporeal Patronus. Fred was the closest, his silvery mist huge and with something that resembled wings, but it disappeared too quickly for anyone to identify it. Meanwhile, Professor Thomas' bat Patronus flew above us, almost as a mocking reminder of what I couldn't do.

Jax wasn't even trying that hard, lazily waving his wand around, making the occasional burst of mist come out of it. I tried to think of a happy memory but all of my happy memories were with James. The two of us flying in my backyard when we were kids. The two of us getting drunk together for the first time, acting like a couple of fools, James holding my hair back while I threw up and still we were laughing so much. The two of us dancing together after we won our first Quidditch cup, deliriously happy. And then, inevitably, the two of us in his dorm, behind a tapestry. All of those memories ended up being invaded with the picture of James and Trinity.

Then I would try to think of something else, of grandad and Ethan, but I would remember my parents as well and any happy memory I thought I could think up would disappear.

"I give up," I said, slumping down in my chair and laying my head on the table. I was exhausted, I could barely keep my eyes open. All I wanted was to go to sleep.

Jax sat down next to me and patted me on the head. "Who needs a Patronus, anyway, right?"

I nodded, observing the rest of the class and fighting hard not to let my eyes close. Everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun. Fred was helping Ashley with her wand movement which was at least something that made me smile slightly. James was doing the same thing with Trinity which made me mentally gag. With that much action going on all around us, I was lucky that Thomas didn't notice me basically using his class as my personal two hours of being idle.

When the class was finally over, I didn't notice it until there were only a couple of people left in the classroom, amongst them Dom and Jax. She came over and looked at the two of us, sprawled across the table, with a deep crease between her eyebrows.

"Quinn!" She yelled and I winced.

"What?"

Dominique crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor. "You've got Quidditch practice in ten minutes. So stop sleeping and get your ass down to the Pitch or James will go mental."

I rolled my eyes at her. "I wasn't sleeping, I was –"

"It doesn't matter, just get up and go away."

Sighing, I picked up my stuff and waved at Jax as I walked after her.

I dragged my feet all the way down to the Pitch. There was no fucking way I would be able to get through this alive.

Everyone else was already ready by the time I showed up, but I wasn't late so there was no reason for James to give me laps or something. I changed out of my robes and into training gear slowly, but I couldn't drag it out too much or someone would've come after me in the locker rooms. So, with my hair in a messy bun, I walked over to where everyone else was in the middle of the Pitch.

"...and we need to practice your rolls, Wendy, because the Hufflepuffs have better Beaters than the Slytherins, so they won't miss you so easily, not to mention it's Osborne and he's always vicious…" James was talking strategy and I tried my best to follow what he was saying, but at some point I just lost the thread and stood there, leaning against the Stormwind, waiting for us to get into the air. That is until I heard a girly cheer from the stands. I whipped my head around to see Trinity up there, some of her friends with her, obviously here to watch James play. I silently groaned so no one would notice.

Up in the air, I was idly watching Lysander hit Bludgers at our teammates, hovering on the Stormwind, not really paying attention. Then James flew over, cocked his head at Lysander to practice somewhere away from us and fixed me with a stare.

"What the fuck is up with you?" James asked and I stared at him blankly.

I groaned again and rolled my eyes. "I'm fucking tired, okay? Sorry I can't be cheery all the time," I said this with a sneer and a look towards the stands, "Captain."

James had that look he always had when he mentally counted numbers so he wouldn't explode at someone. "If you want to stay on the team, you're going to practice with us. No excuses, just like with everyone else." His voice was cold when he said that, before flying away and catching a Quaffle from Fred. There was another fucking cheer.

I don't know what came over me, but suddenly I had this energy flowing through me. I flew towards the nearest Bludger, not paying attention to what the rest of the team was doing, and I swung my bat at it with all the force I could muster, sending it straight for the stands, narrowly missing Trinity's head.

The fact that I wasn't paying attention meant I had Lysander's Bludger hit me in the side, sending me spiralling towards the ground. It hurt like hell and I couldn't focus on flying properly. I could feel the Stormwind adapting and slowing down considerably, but it wasn't quite enough because, a couple of feet above the ground, I fell from my broom with a thud.

I lay there in the grass, looking up at the sky, thinking how fucked up I was. My ribs hurt and it was too much effort to try and move around. James was the first one jumping to the ground, running towards me, crouching down, his face drained of all colour. "Quinn! Are you okay?" He yelled, his voice sounding strange to my ears. James took my hand in his own as he looked me over and I just stared up at the clouds passing.

"I'm fucking fantastic."

* * *

The next day, again I overslept because I was so tired and hurt, but for once I had a free period in the morning so I didn't miss much, just Arithmancy and that class was a fucking breeze for me so it was fine. Except that when I came down to lunch, all my friends, with the wonderful addition of Trinity, seemed like they secretly talked about me and were ready to do something annoying like _discuss my behaviour_. So I turned away from them and walked over to the Slytherin table, sitting down next to Jax, to everyone's surprise. But, with the number of stares I got yesterday, this was nothing.

Al, Hugo and Scorpius waved at me from across the table and I smiled slightly at them. Jax cocked an eyebrow at me and grinned. Hastings, Nash and Virginia Kent, who were sitting near us, threw me dirty looks, but they didn't say anything.

"So, you decided to join the dark side?" Jax asked before he slid the plate with the roast chicken I've been eyeing towards me.

"Well, the dark side isn't overflowing with people _worried_ about me."

Jax shrugged and bit into a sandwich. "Worrying is overrated."

"What's tonight's Slytherin shindig even for?" I asked, earning myself some more glares.

"It's Salazar's birthday, so traditionally, all Slytherins from fifth year and up have permission to celebrate it in Hogsmeade. There's a house there that once belonged to Slytherin and it's where we go each year", Jax said, drinking some apple juice before continuing, "Of course, over the years, some Heads of Slytherin would try and control the situation, but luckily, North doesn't care what happens as long as we don't destroy Hogsmeade and no one gets injured or dies."

Somehow, that didn't surprise me in the slightest as I observed Professor North, tall and haughty at the teacher's table, talking with Professor Longbottom, even laughing at something the man said. He was charming when he wanted to be, and the Slytherin's discipline wasn't something he concerned himself with as long as they managed to contain it between themselves. And he counted on the older students to rein in the younger ones. That same carelessness didn't extend to students he didn't like, but you at least always knew what to expect from him.

"How is it possible that the rest of the castle doesn't know? Someone would've noticed a bunch of you traipsing around the grounds towards Hogsmeade?"

Jax smirked, his eyes glinting with mirth, "There's a passage connecting our common room and the house, love." I was about to ask why the fuck don't they use that to go out to Hogsmeade all the time but Jax, probably expecting the question, beat me to it. "It's only open from today until tomorrow."

I glanced at my watch and sighed. "I've got to go to Transfiguration. Actually, you do too, we have that class together." I said with a frown.

"Eh, classes are overrated. Meet me at nine," Jax said with a wink and I left the Great Hall.

The rest of the day passed by slowly. Cavendish wanted us to practice human transfiguration on ourselves, so the whole class spent the time in front of a table mirror, changing our hair colour, eye colour, easy standard stuff. Luckily, it wasn't so easy for everyone, so both Dom and Ash were too occupied with their spellwork, and Fred has apparently given up on trying to make me talk when I obviously didn't want to. Trinity didn't take Transfiguration so James was sitting next to me, but we were both silent. He healed my ribs yesterday and obviously wanted to go with me up to the castle, but Trinity came down to the Pitch and I made Fred go with me instead, because I had a horrible feeling Trinity would go with us, in case I decided to collapse in the middle of the grounds.

I wasn't sure what was happening between James and me, but I didn't like it. I could lie and say that I did all I wanted to everyone around me, but he was my best friend. I couldn't remember a time when we weren't okay. Or well, not great. Every little fight that we had was always resolved quickly enough, by yelling or boxing or, in rare cases, apologising. But this time, we weren't even fighting. We were just in some sort of weird limbo.

So when Transfiguration was finally over, I went straight to dinner, maybe a bit early but I didn't want to go later when the Great Hall would be packed. Rose joined me for dinner, though thankfully, she had enough sense not to pester me about my parents. Instead, she talked about Lily's upcoming birthday. Rose was the one who had to organise it, drawing the short straw between all her cousins. I mumbled something at appropriate times but I wasn't really listening.

Back in my dorm, with everyone else now at dinner, I showered and stood in the middle of the room, wrapped in my fluffy grey towel, contemplating what to wear. Finally, I settled for skin-tight black jeans and a black top which at least wasn't one of my T-shirts so I thought Ashley would've been proud. I even put on black eyeliner and mascara with blood red lipstick. It somehow made me feel a little better, even if it wasn't much, but at least I looked fit. I dried my hair with my wand, tied my black combat boots tight, grabbed my bag and leather jacket and left the dorm.

Lysander was lounging on one of the red sofas in the common room. Seeing me come down the stairs he wolf-whistled, grinning widely. "Where are you off to?"

"I'm going to a strange house filled with likely hostile Slytherins to celebrate Salazar's birthday. So you know… If I don't make it back, I've probably been murdered or something."

"Oh. Hey, I, uh… I'm sorry for making you fall yesterday," He said in an unsure voice. Lysander really needed to accept the fact that sometimes, people will get hurt on the Pitch. He was like a little ball of conflict, having no issue about targeting people with Bludgers and then feeling guilty about it afterwards.

"Relax, Lysander. It's fine," I said and left the common room, making the long trip down to the dungeons.

Jax was waiting for me, casually leaning against the stone wall, his long legs crossed, and a cigarette in his mouth. This was obviously his domain because I had never seen anyone else so casually smoking inside the castle. His hair was perfectly styled and he was dressed in well-fitted black trousers and white shirt with an almost loose black tie, his jacket thrown over his shoulder. Somehow, Jax managed to look both casually messy and sleek at the same time. A wolfish grin appeared on his face when he saw me, blowing out some smoke to the side and throwing the cigarette on the ground, stepping on it to snuff it out.

"I would definitely fuck you," He said and I burst into laughter. Laughing felt good. I felt better than I have in days.

"You're so smooth, I would've thought you had more lines than just telling a girl you'd fuck her. You must be working the Veela charm to get them to actually fuck you."

He put an arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the part of the stone wall that was the entrance to the Slytherin common room. After saying the password ( _Serpensortia_ ), he led me inside the long underground room, illuminated by greenish light, filled with students. The Slytherins gathered there were all looking quite posh and for a moment I felt underdressed, but I was out of fucks to give.

We followed a couple that removed a portrait of Salazar Slytherin, revealing a passageway lit by candles behind it, and entered the passage.

"Actually, I don't use the Veela charm," Jax said in a serious tone while we walked. "Well, unless someone wants me to."

"Really?"

"It feels… Rape-y to me. And I don't get off on that shit. You know how when Dominique smiles at someone in that way of hers and they're slightly dazed?" Jax asked, looking at me and I nodded. I was all too familiar with her dazzling smile. She never did it on purpose, as far as I knew. It was just the way she was.

"Yeah, so, she's only got a bit of Veela in her so it's not a big deal, there's basically nothing to control, right? It's… Different for me. If I wanted to, I could make a girl do almost anything I wanted, without any complaint, whether she wanted to or not. But there's no fucking way I would ever do that, it would be disgusting and very wrong."

Jackson Wood was one good fucking guy.

We walked in relative silence after that, Jax lighting another cigarette. They were of course, fancy and special, not leaving a bad taste. He lit me one and I took a drag of the sweet vanilla flavour.

"You said that sometimes, girls want you to use it," I said, cocking an eyebrow at him and he smirked.

Jax stopped, threw away his cigarette, and moved towards a shadowy part of the passage. I followed him and he put his hands around my waist, pulling me closer. "Do you want me to show you? I promise I won't do anything you –"

"Do it," I said, looking him in the eyes. Jax smiled and his blue eyes darkened somewhat and I felt desire building inside me, I wanted to fuck him, uncaring that we were in a passage with other people passing by us. It was like I felt everything but multiplied tenfold. I tangled my fingers in his hair and he leaned over, kissing me slowly, our lips pressed together and I knew why someone would want this. Just the touch of his lips on mine was enough to make me shudder with desire. The kiss spread through me like wildfire, all the way down to my core, lighting me from inside and immediately I wanted more, parting his lips with my tongue, hungry to feel closer, I arched my hips towards him, Jax letting out a hiss. And then the wildfire stopped as quickly as it appeared, leaving me horny but definitely not crazy like before. He pulled away from me and I breathed heavily for a while, recovering. I didn't say anything for a minute and Jax frowned. "Are you –"

I nodded shakily, "I'm fine. That was… Wow. Fuck."

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry."

"No, don't be, it was… Fucking hot."

Jax took my hand then and we rejoined the Slytherins on their way to Hogsmeade. I'm not sure how much time passed, but finally, we came to a wooden door with a knocker in the shape of a serpent. Jax opened the door and I followed him inside.

I wasn't sure what I expected but it probably wasn't something that faintly resembled The Howler, only fancier looking and Slytherin themed, with green and silver everywhere. I looked up at Jax in wonder and he started laughing. "It looks like an ancient house from the outside, but inside it changes with the times."

We walked over to the bar manned by a house elf. The music was playing, but it wasn't so loud that we couldn't talk, at least not where we were standing. I looked around in interest, a lot of people were already dancing so I guessed the party started earlier but Jax wanted to show up fashionably late.

He ordered us tequila shots, five each and looked at me wickedly. Jax took my hand, turned it towards him and poured the salt just below my index finger. He leaned over, keeping his eyes locked on mine, and slowly licked the salt off the back of my hand. He downed the tequila shot and quickly bit into the lime wedge, sucking on it, all the while not breaking eye contact. Two could play that game.

I shrugged out of my jacket, the house elf storing it somewhere, and put some salt on my collarbone, biting my lower lip and watching Jax. His eyes widened and he grinned as he moved closer, his tongue hot on my skin. I didn't want him to have an advantage over me, so I grabbed his hand and teasingly licked the salt off it, drinking the tequila quickly, sucking on the lime and grinning at him. I did the second one from my own hand, making Jax watch, enjoying seeing his jaw clench. We finished the remaining shots, smiling like fools at each other and ordered a bottle of Serpentgin.

Jax found us a low table and sat down on the dark green leather sofa, pulling me on top of him. I uncorked the Serpentgin and took a swig from the bottle, offering it to Jax who took it greedily. He put a hand around my neck and lit a cigarette with the other one. I took it from his mouth and inhaled the sweet smoke.

"Why the fuck haven't you asked me here before?" I said, leaning into him so he would hear me.

He laughed, "I didn't think you'd come."

I rolled my eyes at him and playfully punched his shoulder which only made him laugh more. A really good song by the Wicked Wands started playing and I jumped up, grabbing Jax's hand and pulling him towards the dance floor. "Let's dance!" I yelled for good measure and put my arms around his neck.

It didn't take long for Jax to grab my ass and pull me into him, and we danced like that, close, grinding against each other. And then I pulled away slightly and Jax twirled me around in a totally inappropriate move to the song that was playing but it made me laugh so it was okay. He seemed as much into jumping around with me as he was into dancing pressed close together. He put his arms in the air around me, one hand holding a cigarette while we both sang along to the music. Jax rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and loosened his tie even more while we danced.

I was thirsty so I pulled him back towards the table, drinking Serpentgin like it was water. My mind felt pleasantly loose and I couldn't remove the seemingly permanent grin from my face. We sat down for a little bit and Jax pulled out two potion bottles, similar to the one he gave me yesterday. The liquid inside was dark green. I looked up at Jax and he offered one to me.

"What is it?" I asked, my words slurring a little bit, making me think I wouldn't drink more, I didn't want to get drunk. I tilted the bottle in front of my eyes, like that would tell me what it was.

"The highly modified Elixir of Euphoria," Jax said, eyes glinting with mischief, "Without the hangover potion. And more concentrated. You want it?"

Remembering the brief moment of happiness from yesterday I didn't think twice about it, just unscrewed the top and drank it all in one go, Jax doing the same. The effect was instant, my mind filled with joy, without a bad thought. I looked over at Jax only to be met with a beaming smile. He got up and took my hand, the tingling sensation amazing as it spread through my arm. We started dancing again, my hands untucking his shirt and touching the taut skin of his muscles underneath, his hands touching my exposed back, making me gasp.

Jax kissed me again and when our lips touched it was as if the tingling sensation increased even more, spreading quickly, and Jax's hands were suddenly around my neck, touching everywhere, the lightest brush of fingers against my skin making my pulse race, making me wet just from the brief touch. We weren't even dancing anymore, just standing in the middle of the dance floor, touching all the places that were exposed, and when Jax sucked on the skin of my neck I moaned, the sound disappearing in the loud music.

Still touching, we made our way back towards the couch and I pushed Jax down, straddling him, rocking my hips against his as his hands found their way underneath my top, brushing against my breasts. He was rock hard as I leaned over, my hair falling like a curtain around us, my teeth biting his lip and Jax cursed, hips bucking into me, hands roughly holding me around the waist. I kissed his earlobe. "I think we," He pinched my nipple and I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation, "Need to go. Somewhere." Jax didn't need me to say anything more to him, instead he cocked his head towards the door we came through, and I got up, brushing my hand against his cock through the fabric of his trousers to tease him. He pulled me back, my ass rubbing against him as we walked towards the door, pressed together, his arms around me. Jax nodded to the house elf who conjured both our jackets and Jax waved his wand, making them shrink and putting them both in my bag.

Once we were back in the passage, Jax pushed me against the stone wall, kissing my neck slowly, as his fingers touched me through my jeans but it wasn't enough for me. "Your dorm, now."

We almost ran back towards the Slytherin common room, occasionally stopping to snog, but I wasn't about to fuck in a passage where anyone could see us so we quickly made our way back.

The effect of the Elixir waned but I was still horny, following Jax towards his dorm through the dark hallway leading out of the common room. His dorm was at the end of the hallway and there was no one inside. Jax waved his wand to lock the door and for a moment we just looked at each other, like time stopped.

And then, like we were pulled with some magnetic force, we were kissing again, desperately clawing at each other's clothes. Jax unzipped my jeans and pulled them down, his fingers immediately going towards my knickers but I stopped him, pulling him back up and looking him in the eyes.

"Does the Veela thing do anything for you?" I asked, nervously biting my lip.

"It… Uh, it makes the sex better. For both of us," Jax answered, rubbing circles on the skin of my back.

"Can you do it so I don't lose total control?"

Jax nodded, "Do you… Want me to?"

"Fuck, yes, I want you to do it, it feels… Like I'm on fire. I fucking loved it."

And with that, the traced circles on my back made me gasp and Jax looked smug. He got on his knees, pulling my jeans all the way down and I stepped out of them, pulling my top over my head as Jax watched, transfixed. He got up and kissed me, unhooking my bra with practised ease while I unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his belt, throwing them on the floor. I felt slightly dazed, but not so much that I didn't know what I was doing. It was only like all of my senses were heightened, every touch, every kiss, every brush of lips blazing through me.

I pushed Jax back and he fell on top of his bed, watching me as I slowly climbed up and straddled him. He put his hands on top of my thighs, fingers digging into my skin as I leaned down and kissed him, trailing kisses down his neck and chest, moving lower, making him groan when I kissed the skin above his boxers. I pushed his trousers and boxers down, Jax helping me and I grinned at him as I lowered my head, licking him teasingly. I could feel he was restraining himself so I straightened out, kissing him again and stroking his cock slowly and Jax growled, suddenly flipping us and holding my hands above my head with one hand as he sucked on a nipple. I licked my lips when he lightly rubbed my clit, my hips arching towards him, begging for more. "Jax… Fuck me already."

He grinned at me, kissing my lips again, still holding my hands above my head as I strained against him, trying desperately to get some friction but he was still only lightly touching me and it was infuriating. I bit him again, and he got even harder. So Jax likes it rough. Sucking on his collarbone, I snaked one of my hands away from his grip, scratching at his back and leaving marks.

Jax groaned and finally drove into me, pleasure spreading through me, making me lose my mind as he went faster, my hips rocking against him. "Harder," I whispered before kissing him and I flipped us over so I was on top, one of Jax's hands playing with my breasts, the other rubbing at my clit furiously. He sat up slightly, licking my nipple, sucking on my breasts and I screamed out in pleasure, pulling at his hair as I came, the waves of pleasure pulsing through me, and I was still riding him hard, neither of us stopping, until I felt another deep throb building up, begging for release. Jax kissed me then, the pressure of his lips bringing me over the edge, my mind dazed, every touch multiplying and it felt like my body was fucking exploding.

We lay on his bed, tangled with one another, breathing heavily. Jax was tracing the marks he left on my body with his finger, lightly, just a feather touch but it still felt blazing hot.

"Are you… It wasn't too much?" He asked, still worried about the Veela charm.

I didn't fucking care that I was under the influence. It was just what I needed to forget everything that happened, and even though James was still in the back of my mind, the thought of him didn't hurt so much.

"I feel fucking fantastic."

This time, I meant it.


	15. Chapter 15

Jax was propped against the wooden headboard of his bed, another cigarette in his mouth, the smoke swirling around us. I was sprawled across the bed, still feeling slightly dazed while Jax lazily ran his fingers across my ribs and breasts, occasionally making me shiver.

The Slytherin dorm was surprisingly cosy. You'd think it would feel cold and unwelcoming, being in the dungeons, but that wasn't the case. The deep green carpet was soft and warm and there was a fireplace in the middle of the room, though right now it was only filled with glowing embers, the fire having died down.

Jax put the cigarette in my mouth and I inhaled deeply, the smoke burning my throat and lungs, spreading its sweet aroma. I gasped when I felt Jax's mouth sucking on my nipple, tongue circling it slowly, his hand leisurely travelling lower. Propping myself up on my elbows, I looked at him and he gave me a feral grin.

"I want to go down on you," Jax murmured between kisses he trailed down my chest to my stomach.

"That can be arranged," I said, taking one last drag from the cigarette and snuffing it on the ashtray, "But not right now. I have to go if I want to make it to my morning classes. If I stay here, we're just going to fuck all night." Jax circled my clit with his tongue in response, making me moan. And then he stopped, coming up to lay beside me, smirking down at me.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. But fine, I won't tempt you. Although next time…"

I sat up, looking around the dorm for my discarded clothes while Jax stared at my naked body. "You seem very sure there's going to be a next time," I said, reaching towards the soft green carpet to grab my knickers and jeans.

"You enjoyed it." He didn't phrase it as a question. He didn't need to.

I stood up, padded over to Jax's nightstand and bent down to pick up my bra, all the while feeling Jax staring at me. Somehow, I didn't hear him coming up behind me but as I straightened up, he put his hands on my waist and leaned down to kiss my neck. There was an intricately designed silver mirror above his nightstand, very Slytherin in appearance with numerous snakes intertwined around one another, framing the mirror glass. We looked at each other's reflections. Jax was smirking as one of his hands snaked around my body and found its way towards my knickers, my jeans still unzipped, while the other pinched my nipple, playing with the hardened nub. His fingers slowly inched under my knickers, rubbing me softly, teasingly.

"I did enjoy it… Ah," I gasped as he rubbed faster, biting down and sucking on my collarbone. "Jax, stop." Immediately he stopped and looked up. "I enjoyed it and I want to do it again, just maybe not right now. If I miss more classes, Longbottom will be on my case and he might kick me off the Quidditch team, if James doesn't beat him to it since I completely failed at Quidditch during our last practice and if I don't get any sleep, I'll fail again."

I turned around to face him and I even managed a slight smile, which proved difficult now that both the Elixir of Euphoria and Jax's Veela charm wore off.

"I'm sorry," He said, rubbing his neck nervously. "I didn't mean… I was just teasing you, I would never –"

"I know you didn't and I'd stay here in a bubble with you where other things don't matter. But, I can't. So I'm going to go now," I said, putting on my bra and top and zipping up my jeans. Pulling on my boots, I grabbed his boxers from the floor and threw them at him. "Shouldn't you put these on? What if one of your dorm mates walk in after I leave?"

He grinned at that, "I sort of told them they can't come back here tonight." Jax casually shrugged his shoulders. I shook my head in amusement and walked over, now fully clothed. Snaking my arms around his neck, I kissed him, pulling away from him before the kiss could get more heated. I wasn't completely evil.

I cast a Disillusionment Charm on myself before exiting the Slytherin common room. I really didn't need to be caught and this was the closest I could get to be as unnoticeable as possible. With a sigh, I remembered James' Invisibility Cloak and started the long walk back to Gryffindor Tower.

It seemed I was particularly lucky tonight because I didn't meet anyone until I passed through the portrait hole and entered the common room. There, sitting in front of the fire, was James with the Marauder's Map in his hands. For once in the last couple of days, he was alone, no Trinity in sight.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I walked over and sat on an armchair, staring at him. For a while, we just sat there in semi-darkness, the only light coming from the fire crackling merrily. After what seemed like an eternity, James folded the Map and put it into his pocket, finally looking at me. His face was blank and I felt a pang of hurt spreading through me like poison, its delicate tendrils wrapping themselves around my insides.

"I'm sorry," James murmured, his voice so low that I barely heard him. "About your parents."

"Right."

He stood up then, giving me one last look before turning away and climbing the spiralling staircase that led towards the boys' dorm, leaving me alone. He was sorry about my parents. He didn't even try to talk to me. He just abandoned me. For fuck's sake.

Sitting there, alone, I felt like I was coming down from a trip, the poisonous tendrils twisting together, weaving around my throat, my lungs, making it difficult to breathe, draining me of energy. I slumped down on the armchair and closed my eyes, biting down on my hand so I wouldn't let out the scream building inside me.

* * *

"Quinn!" Someone was shaking me awake and I realised that everything hurt. Opening my eyes, I saw Fred standing in front of me, one hand on my shoulder, and for a brief moment I wondered how he managed to get up to the girls' dorms but then the rest of the room came into focus and I caught up to the fact that I was still in the common room. And it was morning, judging by the light coming in through the windows.

Slowly, I uncurled myself from the strange position I was sleeping in. My neck was hurting the most and it cracked when I sat up, stretching out. Still in last night's clothes, I smelled of sex and Jax's cigarettes. Fuck.

"Why are you sleeping in the common room?" Fred asked in a low voice so a couple of third years sitting nearby wouldn't overhear. I imagined I must've been a really strange sight to everyone who passed through the common room.

"Er… I don't know. What time is it?" I yawned widely while Fred picked up my bag that slipped to the floor.

"Eight. What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I mean I fell asleep, I guess. Who the fuck cares, I need a shower," I said, getting up from the armchair and taking the bag from Fred. He was looking at me suspiciously so I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you even know which class we have first?" Fred said with a raised eyebrow.

I grimaced, "Of course. Charms." I actually had no idea, but Charms seemed like a safe bet for some reason.

"Potions."

Fuck.

By the time I got to breakfast, I only had a few moments to grab a couple pieces of toast which I ate on the way to the dungeons. Students were still waiting in front of the Potions classroom when I got there so at least I wasn't late. I might not actually need Potions after I leave school, but I still fucking hated failing at anything.

Jax wasn't among the students waiting, obviously choosing sleep over classes, unsurprisingly. James was standing near the front with Fred, Ashley and Dom, all four of them whispering about something. I had a sinking feeling that it might've been about me. Thankfully, Potions was yet another class Trinity didn't take, so at least she wasn't there. I walked over to them, silently leaning against the wall next to Ash.

She gave me an amused look. "Hello, stranger. Where have you been?" Dom was making obscene gestures behind Ashley's back, winking at me and mouthing something that I was pretty sure was supposed to mean 'Jax'. I wasn't really in a mood for joking, but Ashley's look and Dom's antics still made me grin.

"I've been busy," I said with a nonchalant shrug, looking up at the domed ceiling before I could burst into laughter at Fred's scandalised expression. He would make a great actor in some sort of very expressive drama.

"Doing what?" James asked, rubbing the back of his neck and acting like we didn't have that weird whatever-the-hell-it-was-because-sure-as-fuck-it-wasn't-conversation the night before in the common room. Why was he acting this way?

I frowned but before I could answer with something appropriate, Dom moved closer, put an arm around my shoulders and laughed. "Doing who would have been a better question," She said, grinning like a madwoman. "He's tall, fit, extremely fuckable and his name rhymes with hardwood." At this, even Fred snorted.

Ash smirked at me. "So, was he, you know, hard Wood?" And even though this was a bad enough joke to rival one of my own, everyone except James snickered. James just clenched his jaw and stared at me with a stony expression. He'd been doing a lot of silent staring lately and I've been getting sick of it so I twirled a strand of dark hair around my finger, looking straight at him, curling my lips into a half smile.

"Very hard." Just as I was saying that, North opened the door of the classroom and students started filing in. I followed Ashley and Dom inside but then a devious thought occurred to me so I turned my head slightly and gave Fred a cocky wink. "Oh, and Fred, I know you were wondering about Jax's stamina. Well, let's just say I'm...sore all over." James coughed and I mentally congratulated myself on at least getting some kind of attention from him even when he was being a dick.

The two of us sat down at our usual table in the back, James fetching the Amortentia we were still brewing from the store cupboard along with some ingredients that we needed to add at this stage. The potion didn't yet have a scent and it was red instead of having a mother-of-pearl sheen, which meant we still had a couple more weeks of brewing to finish it. Why anyone would even teach a bunch of teenagers how to brew a love potion was beyond me.

North wasn't even paying attention to the class since we were supposed to do all of the work on our own, without his instruction. He was sitting on his chair, legs propped up on the teacher's desk and reading _Quidditch Weekly_. I refused to even glance at the newspaper because I was pretty sure what they were writing about so instead, I turned towards James, looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to bring me up to speed on what the hell we were supposed to be doing with this damn potion.

James pushed a big chunk of dragon liver towards me. "You should cut this up," He said and took out his own potions kit, put it on the table and started powdering three griffin claws. That was the only fucking thing he said to me and after that, we worked in silence.

Cutting up the dragon liver with my silver knife was incredibly satisfying, I could simply imagine it was Osborne's face and the whole activity got an added bonus. The fact that I was currently tempted to imagine it was James' face was inconvenient. I obviously had to do something about this unspoken tension between us because I was certainly going mental if there was someone I would rather cut up than bloody Osborne.

I absentmindedly stared at our bubbling potion, the dragon liver neatly cut up beside me, waiting for the right moment to be added in. In the front row, Ashley was waving her wand above the cauldron, Nathan Wilde standing very close to her, one hand on the small of her back and whispering something in her ear. My eyes immediately wandered off to where Fred and Dom were sitting, to see if Fred noticed but the two of them were busy trying to stop their potion from bubbling so violently that sparks flew out and singed people around them. I chuckled at that and earned myself a _look_ from James. I glared at him.

"James," I hissed, poking him lightly in the shoulder.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Why are you being a dick?" I retorted, still in a low voice. I didn't want people to overhear us. Granted, most of them were too busy with their potions to care about our conversation, but still.

James had the decency to look away from me. "I'm n–"

"Don't say you're not," I said, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms across my chest. "You know what? I'm sick and tired of all this… Whatever the fuck it is." The bell rang for the end of class but while the rest of our classmates put away their potions and collected their things, James and I stayed there, sitting and staring at each other. James ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"I know. I'm…," He trailed off, fiddling with his wand. We were alone in the classroom and I had the urge to just do something, anything to make him become the old James, the one who would never just let things go with my parents, who would insist on me talking it out with him and even if I didn't want to he would let me rage at him. But this James just sat there silently. It was infuriating.

I had had enough. I stood up violently, knocking over my potions kit, the mortar and pestle clattering on the stone floor.

"Fuck you, James!" I yelled at him. He finally looked up at me, brows furrowed and fists clenched. I felt a pang of guilt at the expression of hurt on his face but I was fucking hurt, too. "For fuck's sake you are my best friend and you're just… Why the fuck are you being like this?" I stared at him, waiting for an answer.

James rubbed the dark stubble on his jaw, apparently at a loss for words. After maybe a minute of silence, I was so furious that I almost hexed him, but instead, I turned on my heel and marched out of the classroom.

I was still fuming by the time I got to lunch, the thunderous sky mirrored in the ceiling above perfectly matching my current mood, that I didn't even notice what the hell I put on my plate, right up until I started cutting up a slice of bread like it was a piece of meat. Fred tried to hide his laughter but he was terrible at it so he gave up and just laughed at me outright.

"Fuck!" I shouted at no one in particular, hitting the table with my knife. Dom raised a sceptical eyebrow at me while daintily slicing up her steak.

"What's up with you?" She asked, glancing at her watch with a frown. "Shit, I've got to go help Hagrid with a baby unicorn, we'll talk later, yeah?" Dom stuffed a big piece of steak in her mouth, grabbed her bag and left, passing James on her way out of the Great Hall. He made a beeline for the empty space next to me, so I got up, snatched my stuff and stomped away, leaving him standing there, watching me leave. I could feel his stare at the back of my head, but I refused to turn around. Fred was muttering something to James, but I was too far away to make out what.

I started climbing the Grand Staircase, not really paying attention to where I was going until I found myself on the third floor, in the Charms corridor, vaguely wondering which class I was supposed to go to. There was a group of students standing in the middle of the corridor, Rose Weasley among them. Her robes were distinctly messy, her Gryffindor tie loose and red hair barely contained with a black hair band, loose flyaway strands framing her face as she walked over, hands in her pockets, and looked at me in confusion.

"Er… Quinn? What are you doing here?"

"Not sure. I thought I had Charms but, yeah, I don't fucking know." I rummaged around my bag, searching for the bloody timetable. I wasn't quite sure why the hell I was so convinced that I had Charms today because when I finally fished out my timetable, today's afternoon was blank, the only thing marked down was a study session with Ashley and Dom in the evening, which was something I couldn't remember ever attending. "I'm just… It doesn't matter, I'm going to go now." I started walking back the way I came but then Rose yelled after me.

"Quinn!"

"What?"

She came a bit closer and looked me over. "Is everything okay?"

I almost laughed hysterically at her question. No, everything is not fucking okay. Everything has gone to shit. I've somehow ended up in an alternate reality where each day there's something else to make my life worse. And somehow, I've also ended up giving a damn.

"Yep," I said not even trying to force out a smile. Rose nodded, though she didn't look particularly convinced but she was smart enough not to pry and so I left. Instead of aimlessly walking all over the castle, I made my way up to the seventh floor and the Room of Requirement, my boxing gear waiting for me.

The moment I walked into the dimly lit room, I felt even worse than before, every fucking thing bubbling up inside me, just boiling under the surface, threatening to spill out. Candles were floating above the mat in the middle of the room, the heavy punching bag hanging off to the side, leaving enough room for footwork. There was even a small bathroom adjoining the main room. The rest of it was pretty spartan and that was exactly how I liked it, focused on letting out everything the only way I knew how.

I took off my clothes, almost ripping my shirt in the process, and hastily put on my sports bra and leggings. Tying up my hair and wounding the black semi-elastic hand wraps firmly around my hands and wrists, flexing a bit to make sure they were wrapped properly felt like a ritual.

I didn't bother with warming up, I was already so wound up that I just wanted to hit the bloody bag and hit it over and over again until I couldn't feel anything anymore. The steady thudding of my fists and the occasional leg kick against the bag were the only sounds that could be heard for a long time. Sweat was trickling down my neck and I was breathing heavily by the time the door of the Room of Requirement opened. I caught the heavy bag and steadied it, leaning against it as I looked at the intruder.

Of course, it was James. It couldn't have been anyone else because he was the only one who knew me well enough to be able to enter the Room while I was in it. The pure feeling of relief at the fact that he actually came here to find me quickly disappeared when I remembered why I was here in the first place.

He was wearing sweatpants and a dark red Gryffindor T-shirt, which he promptly took off, slightly distracting me from my anger while I suddenly realised just how fit he was, muscles rippling as he stared at me, slowly wrapping his own hands in silence. It was almost seductive.

"James…," I started lamely, "We can't just –"

He grinned at me wolfishly, apparently deciding to ignore my protests and my anger as he moved closer, already in a fighting stance. "Yeah, we can." And while I stood there, feeling slightly confused, James took a swing at me, his right fist coming straight for my face. I dodged in the last second, my arm striking out of its own volition, instinct taking over. I kicked out with my leg, James grunting as I made contact with his shin.

We circled each other, eyeing each other up, looking for weak spots. We've sparred enough times to know them already, but it was something done by habit instead of conscious thinking. I aimed a left hook at his jaw but James dodged gracefully, like he was expecting the move, smirking down at me. I smirked back at him, pivoting as my right hand punched him in the ribs while he was distracted.

Dancing around James, I kicked out with my leg again but he caught it and flipped me over. I fell down on the mat with a loud thud, but once again, I kicked him behind the knees, making him fall as well. I was ready and I jumped up over him, straddling him, my thighs locked around his torso. I punched him in the face, splitting his lip, my wrapped fist smeared with his blood and he flipped us over easily, straddling me and grabbing my hands, leaning over me and holding my wrists above my head, face so close to mine that I could've counted the flecks in his hazel eyes.

James held me there firmly, pinned to the floor, I couldn't move at all, only my chest was rising and falling rapidly as adrenaline coursed through me, my pulse racing. Hovering over me, his breaths coming out in shallow bursts, James looked as if he wanted to either punch me or fuck me, and I didn't quite know which one would've been better.

I got my answer soon enough as James moved his head even lower, his lips grazing softly against mine, the electric feeling between us back in full. I mewled like a cat, and my hips involuntarily arched against him when his tongue brushed against my lower lip. The metallic taste of James' blood was strangely addictive.

He pulled away slightly, our lips still touching, and his eyes were twinkling. The smile on his face pulled me back into reality of what we were doing and I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to look at his face. "We can't," I murmured.

James groaned in frustration and let go of me, rolling over and laying down beside me, looking up at the ceiling. "I… Fuck... Sorry," He said, seemingly unable to form a coherent sentence.

"I can't fuck around with you, James. It'll fuck us up. I'll fuck everything up, as usual. And I think I _need_ you as my friend. There's no one else who… I'm… ," I trailed off, uncertain what exactly I wanted to say, only knowing that continuing this between us would bloody _mean_ something and I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't do my thing and just _leave_.

So I turned my head towards James, looking at him properly. "Friends?" I asked in a small voice, smiling at him, forgetting about the anger I was feeling, forgetting about everything else in that moment.

Thunder cracked in the distance, lightning flashing outside the window, illuminating James' face. He managed to give me a half-smile, which was at least better than a blank face. "Best friends."

We lay on the mat in silence for a while, listening to the patter of rain against the window, of thunders cracking and rumbling outside, our arms spread out, fingers barely touching. It strongly reminded me of how we were during that first night back at Hogwarts and a lump formed in my throat as everything that happened came crashing down on me.

"Do you want to talk?" James whispered, like he could feel how hard I was trying not to let everything get to me, how hard I was trying to push my thoughts away.

"Not really… I'm angry and I'm fucking tired of being angry all of the fucking time like some bloody banshee. And I don't think talking about it is going to make me less angry. I just… Don't want to feel anything."

"Okay. But when you do, I'll be there."

* * *

For some stupid reason, I thought that James would ditch Trinity after our little boxing session. I had a feeling he was with her just because she was one of the girls that would annoy me the most and he wanted a little bit of revenge for me hooking up with Jax, who he thought of as his biggest rival even though Jax couldn't give a fuck about Quidditch the way James did, and yet, in the next couple of days, Trinity spent more and more time with James, which meant I had to see them snogging in public way too many times. But it was even worse when they weren't snogging, because the hand holding, the little smiles, all of it was fucking getting on my nerves. All the girls James usually dated were dumped fairly quickly, not having been with him for long enough to even start being as annoying as Trinity.

Fred and I were sitting by one of the windows overlooking the snowy mountains in the distance, the common room lively around us and the fire crackling merrily as we observed James and Trinity tangled on one of the armchairs, probably mentally scarring some first years. As much as Fred was a good guy who liked to give people a chance, even he was having difficulty in trying to be nice to Trinity.

"Eww," Fred muttered, rolling his eyes while James snaked a hand under Trinity's shirt. "I don't get it, how can he be with someone so… I mean, what the hell do you even say to someone who doesn't understand how not paying house elves is slavery? Or… Or –"

I hit him in the shoulder lightly, "Please stop, I can't listen to another tirade about goblin rights and centaur rights or fantasy books or whatever else you just wanted to mention, I've had enough of it when you were trying to make her see sense." Trinity's jabs at fantasy books was something that made my eye twitch, but somehow, I managed to stay silent whenever she started going on about something that wildly differed from my world views. I didn't want to fight with James again. But you really had to wonder at some of the things that came out of her mouth. "I don't think they do much talking," I said with a dark look.

Fred snorted. "She must be great in bed then. I'll admit she seems awfully flexible."

I cocked an eyebrow at him with a judging look.

"What? Am I not allowed to appreciate a woman's body? Is that against the rules of… Er, I don't know which rules but –"

"You're allowed, it's just not something you do often. I'm just surprised, that's all."

He flipped through our Defence Against the Dark Arts book. "Why don't you do something about it?" Fred asked, still intently looking at an open page, like he didn't just ask a totally random question.

"Do something about what?" I said, glancing once again at the dallying duo in front of the fireplace. They were whispering something, an occasional giggle escaping Trinity.

"What were we just talking… You know what, it doesn't matter," Fred said, rubbing his jaw, "I'm supposed to be helping you with your Patronus. What's your problem?"

I scoffed, tearing my eyes away from James to look at Fred. "I don't have a happy fucking memory. Or happy enough, I guess."

Fred looked very uncomfortable when I said that, scribbling something on a piece of parchment, tapping his foot against the carpet. "I can't really help you with that, I'm sorry."

I sighed, folding my legs under me, sipping on the chai that Fred's house elf friend brought me. The spicy taste warmed me from the inside. "It's okay, I know you can't. It's my own damn problem." Which I had no idea how to fix, but I didn't want to say that out loud.

Dominique climbed through the portrait hole, looking slightly dishevelled as she made her way towards us, flopping down next to Fred, clutching a letter in her hands. She was very pale. At first, I thought this had something to do with the letter, but she carelessly threw it on the table and put her head in her hands. "Ashley is in the Hospital Wing," Dom said in a weak voice and I felt myself growing cold. Fred jumped up lightning quick, grabbing Dom's shoulders and shaking her slightly.

"Is she okay? What the fuck?" He yelled, causing James to finally disentangle himself from Trinity. He stalked over, looking from Fred to Dom and lastly to me with furrowed brows.

"Jonathan cursed her… She was with Nathan behind that tapestry on the third floor and he found them and just… He's fucking mental."

I closed my eyes, trying to calm down but I fucking couldn't. I silently stood up while both Fred and James crowded around Dom, asking questions. But I didn't fucking care about their questions. I ran towards the portrait hole, clutching my wand tightly, making my way out of the common room, running all the way down to the fifth floor, then west to the spiral staircase that led to Ravenclaw Tower. Somehow, I was lucky, because Jonathan was there, in front of the stairs, about to climb them. Fucking coward.

I pointed my wand at him, but before I could utter a word, he toppled down on the stairs, petrified. I turned around to see Scorpius standing behind me, out of breath, wand out and clutching his side. I had never seen him looking so furious. He didn't say a word to me as he marched towards Jonathan's prone form, tucking his wand away. Scorpius leaned down, grabbed a fistful of Jonathan's hair and stepped on his left hand, with full force. I could hear bones cracking. "If you ever so much as look at my cousin again, I'm going to fucking murder you, fucking dickhead."

Scorpius let go of Jonathan, a wild look on his face as he sauntered over, rubbing his neck.

"Ash?" I asked in a whisper, coughing slightly. We started walking away from the still petrified Jonathan.

"She'll be fine but… There's going to be some scarring on her back. Nothing major. I fucking hate him. I'm tempted to ask mum for advice on how to poison him or something. Her or grandad would know how to make it undetectable. Oh fuck, aunt Daphne is going to be livid…" He trailed off and lapsed into silence.

After a couple of moments, we came upon a shortcut to the second floor. I tapped three times on a slightly off colour stone with my wand, and the archway appeared, the path sloping downward, dimly lit by floating candles.

"Do you think they'll do anything to him?" I asked.

"The Head Boy _and_ Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain?" Scorpius scoffed, shaking his head in annoyance, "I doubt it. Probably give him detention, but nothing more. They won't want to see it for what it is, fucking abuse from an obsessive ex."

My blood boiled at his words, but sadly he was probably right. Jonathan came from a powerful pureblood family, with lots of ties to the school governors and the Ministry. We walked in silence after that. I was itching to go back and curse the fucker but I also wanted to go see Ash and that seemed more important.

As we came out of the secret passage, we were met with a raging Lily Potter. She looked from Scorpius to me and back again to the passage we just came out of. I could see her mind working in all the wrong ways but before one of us could say anything she started yelling.

"Her?! Fucking Quinn Jones?! What the fuck, Scorpius?"

I could've been offended at her tone but I just didn't give a fuck. Scorpius started to explain, trying his best to calm Lily down while she yelled and I slinked away, not wanting to get involved in one of their spats. Lily wouldn't have listened to whatever I had to say anyway.

When I arrived at the Hospital Wing, it was empty of visitors, Madam Bones was in her office. I entered through the double doors and made my way towards the only occupied bed, closing the privacy curtains around it.

Ashley looked incredibly small and fragile in the hospital bed, the white sheets wrapped tightly around her. She was awake, but I caught sight of the empty potion bottles on her bedside table, one labelled as a painkiller, the other one a Blood-Replenishing potion. I sat down on her bed and took her hand in my own. Her skin was unnaturally cold.

"What did you do?" Ash croaked out, her voice raspy.

I shook my head, my eyes burning, my chest constricting painfully at seeing her so weak. "Scorpius," I managed to say. Ash clutched at my hand, tears streaming down her beautiful face. She was one of the strongest and smartest people I knew. My friend who was not a damsel in distress. Except right now, she was. I had to look away from her.

"Ash…Did he ever… Was he, you know, while you were together?" I had to ask her, I couldn't not know. She made the smallest of nods, and I felt such a rush of hatred course through me that I only saw red for a moment, my heart pounding so fast that I thought it would jump out of my chest.

"You can't tell," She said and I looked sharply at her, narrowing my eyes. How could I not tell? How could I not go and fucking _murder_ him right now?

But Ashley held my hand and I couldn't leave her.

"You can't, you have to promise you won't. I don't… I don't want to be a _victim_ ," Ash whispered, more tears soaking her pillow. "I don't want anyone to know."

"Ash…"

"Promise, Quinn, _please_." Her nails dug into the skin on my wrists while she pleaded with me.

"I promise."


	16. Chapter 16

Ash spent two days in the Hospital Wing before Madam Bones decided she was well enough to return to her own dorm and attend classes. Since she didn't want anyone to know what exactly happened between her and Jonathan, what an abusive prick he was, the rest of our friends didn't feel the same level of repulsion I felt every time I laid my eyes on him. It was getting difficult to restrain myself from doing something that Ashley definitely did not want me to do. Like murder him. And in those moments, I had to bring up the mental image of Scorpius, who obviously knew something, or suspected it, at least, breaking Jonathan's fingers, so I wouldn't rage at him.

Scorpius was right in thinking that nothing would be done about the attack. Jonathan played it off as an accident, and Ashley didn't say anything so he only got two-week long detention. She did break it off with Nathan, though, which at least lifted Fred's spirits, even though he still didn't make a move. I didn't pester him about it, because the whole thing seemed incredibly stupid after everything that happened. Though I knew Fred would do something. At some point in time. He wouldn't back down from the dare but he was giving Ash space.

I was walking towards our Defense classroom, trying to figure out what the fuck I was supposed to do about not having a happy memory when all I needed to do in the damn class was cast a bloody Patronus, when Dom fell into step with me. Her hair was shining in the early winter afternoon light coming in from the big windows looking over the lake, her skirt was shorter than it should've been and her shirt's top button was undone. And even though it's been ages since we last hooked up, I was still distracted when she smiled at me and I remembered Jax's words about the Veela charm.

"So…," She started, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, "Are you going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

That was a difficult question and Dom knew it. For once, she and Ashley were going to be staying at the castle, having a girls day, whatever the fuck that meant. They asked me to stay with them, but they also knew I probably wouldn't.

I felt like I needed to be alone, to be away from people, from James and Trinity. The two of them have been together non-stop since Ashley's attack and I was beyond annoyed and angry. I didn't have a best friend any more. Only someone who spent all his time with Trinity. They were going with Fred and some girl Trinity thought he would like. I had no idea why he accepted but I saw him talking in hushed tones with James on multiple occasions, so I suspected they were plotting something. Which left me with no options besides Jax and going with him would be too much like a date, which was not something we were doing. So alone it was.

"Yeah, it's not…" I rolled my eyes at my pathetic attempt at explaining my current mood, but Dom had always been there and, well, it's not like she was stupid and didn't notice. "I just want to be alone for a while. Everything is fucked up."

Dom stayed silent for a while, the sound of our footsteps the only thing breaking the silence. Before we reached the door of the classroom, she reached out, putting a hand on my shoulder, her touch feather-light but I stopped in my tracks and turned to face her. "Quinn… Are you okay?"

The way she looked at me was enough to make me go on the defensive and I smirked at her, putting back my perpetual mask of indifference. "I'm great," I said and walked into the almost full classroom, Dom following behind me with a doubtful expression on her face.

I could feel James immediately turning my way when we entered, Trinity sitting right next to him, their bodies touching and the sight of them making my stomach turn. It was just too damn much, trying to ignore the fact that nothing has been the same since we shagged, that I royally fucked up, even though both of us were pretending everything stayed the same. It didn't. And I fucking hated that. I fucking hated myself for being me. But that was not something I would ever admit out loud, so I merely nodded, a cold mask on my face as I passed James, and sat down next to Jax, who looked as if he was buried six feet under just moments ago.

He smirked at me as he pulled up his sunglasses, like some sort of a fit vampire emerging from a thousand-year dream.

"You look like the Bloody Baron," I said, pulling out my wand and not bothering with taking out the Defense textbook. Professor Thomas rarely bothered with books. Instead, he preferred a practical approach to teaching. Which currently meant I was bloody doomed and would probably fail our midterm exam.

"I'll take that as a compliment, the Baron is quite handsome," Jax laughed, chewing on the minty gum he enjoyed. He offered me one and I took it, forgetting that, of course, Jax's gums were never just gums, just like his potions were never just potions. This one had the added benefit of shooting up what must've been caffeine right through my veins, making me feel as if I just drank three cups of black coffee.

"He's also dead," I retorted, unable to hide my smile. Jax had the uncanny ability to make me forget about the fucked-up-ness of everything. Or maybe it was the drugs. Probably a bit of both. But I enjoyed his company, even if it meant I was just driving the wedge between James and me even wider.

"Maybe I'll awake your repressed necrophilia."

For a moment, I just blinked at Jax, my brain trying to process what the fuck he just said and when it did, I laughed loudly, my ribs hurting slightly from laughter, and I suddenly felt a lot of eyes on us, the rest of the class silent. Professor Thomas eyed us with a peculiar expression.

"Miss Jones, do share with the class what's so funny. Is it the fact that you would get your soul sucked out by a Dementor if it ever attacked you because you're still unable to conjure mist, not to mention a corporeal Patronus?" His words didn't sound angry, they weren't even mocking like what I would often hear from North. He just stated them as a fact, something that made me go instantly cold and ashamed. I hated feeling this way. James' eyes somehow found my own, but the moment our eyes met, I looked away. I didn't want him to know how much I was fucked up. How much I needed him.

Fuck that.

I looked up and sneered at Professor Thomas. "No, sir. What's funny is that Jax thinks I would fuck him even if he were dead. He's not wrong."

Everyone was staring at me, obviously shocked, but I was past caring. Jax was trying very hard not to burst into laughter, I could feel him shaking slightly, suppressing his chortling.

"Miss Jones, I'll see you in detention."

* * *

I wasn't quite sure what came over me in class, but detention wasn't something I planned on getting. And yet, I obviously couldn't be counted on to keep my mouth shut. So now I was stuck in Thomas' office for the evening, in the most boring detention that he could've given me. I had to sit at his desk and be silent for three hours, doing nothing. Without falling asleep. It was a fucking nightmare and it gave me entirely too much time to think about things, which was something I tried desperately to avoid lately, because thinking about things was getting too complicated and fucked up. So I just stared at him, arms crossed at my chest, legs spread out, absolutely uncomfortable in the wooden, straight-backed chair, but I wouldn't let it show.

Professor Thomas stared back, his face blank as he observed me. Soon, it became something of a challenge for me, to stay still and not look away, to never back down. And I could never resist a bloody challenge, even the imagined one that only happened in my head.

We sat like that for almost the whole three hours, the only sound that could be heard was the occasional rumble of thunder outside, but no rain fell, the storm getting stuck in the mountains before being able to come down on the castle.

A minute before my detention was supposed to end, Thomas cleared his throat, put his arms on his desk and leaned on them.

"I'll only say this once, Miss Jones," He said, and I raised an eyebrow at him. "Whatever is going on with you, I don't care about it. And I don't want it in my classroom. For all I care, take out your wand and duel it out in your free time, but do not disrupt my class. You're dismissed."

He waved me away and I left his office, without saying a word, at the same time seething and feeling incredibly tired.

By the time I was finished, the halls were almost empty and dinner was in full swing. I wasn't feeling hungry, so I made my way to the common room, climbed through the portrait hole and found myself face to face with Lily.

After that misunderstanding with Scorpius, she was surprisingly nice to me, and I couldn't quite figure out why. Lily and I were never as close as I was to her brothers, maybe because we were both quite similar, at least in terms of how stubborn we could get. She also wasn't a fan of me dating Al, but I could understand that. Who would be?

"You're not at dinner?" She asked, frowning, her flaming red hair tied in a messy bun on top of her head, a few loose strands framing her face. A flicker of gold was buzzing around her and it took me a moment to realise it was a Snitch. She caught it and released it again with a mischievous grin.

I shrugged and walked over to one of the fluffy armchairs in front of the fireplace, sitting down. "I was in detention and I'm not really hungry."

Lily obviously had nothing better to do than be nosy, because she followed me and sat down on the sofa, watching me. "What's happened with you and James?" She asked, still playing with the Snitch, catching and releasing it and then catching it again.

"Nothing happened."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I'm a hippogriff. You know, it's one thing fucking up with Al, who, honestly, had it coming because, well, it's not like he doesn't know you so technically, it was his own damn fault. But James? I thought you were best friends and all that shit."

I stared into the fire, the flames merrily dancing and crackling, spreading their warmth, but still, I felt cold. "We're friends. Everything is fine, he's just preoccupied with Trinity. Why are you so interested anyway?"

Lily snorted and shook her head. "Because he's my brother. And I'm curious like a kneazle." She stood up, the Snitch flying around her head like some sort of a celestial body orbiting the sun. "Fine, don't tell me anything, I'll find out eventually. Are you coming tomorrow?"

I frowned, looking up at her, the green of her eyes reminding me of Al. "Tomorrow?"

She raised one perfect eyebrow and smirked at me. "My birthday party? I thought it wasn't a party unless Quinn Jones is there." Lily didn't say anything else before turning around and exiting the common room, leaving me to ponder how the fuck I managed to forget.

It wasn't that Lily's birthday was particularly important for me, it was the fact that I simply never missed it because James never missed it. In fact, he would often obsess over the party and the gift for Lily, asking my opinion and rolling his eyes at my bad suggestions, but all the while he'd be smiling or laughing. This year, I had managed to forget because there was no one to remind me.

I stared at the fire for a while until the common room started filling up with people, dinner obviously over. Their chatter disguised the sound of footsteps coming closer and it wasn't until he somehow wedged himself half on top of me and half in between me and the armrest, that I noticed Fred.

"Are you trying to murder me? Because this seems like an incredibly roundabout way of doing it," I said, my voice muffled because I was trapped underneath him, head buried in Fred's dark blue sweater.

"Nah, I just like annoying you. Though, it would be nice if you were slightly less bony and more comfortable to sit on."

"I'm not bony! I have curves! And muscles!"

Fred laughed at that and slid down to the floor, leaning his back against the armchair. "I wasn't sitting on your… Curves." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked up at me. I kicked him in the shoulder.

"You're always so violent," Fred huffed out, gripping his shoulder and pretending to be hurt.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Violent and proud of it. Shouldn't you be up in your dorm, obsessing over your date and what you're going to wear? Because that seems like something you do. Luckily, not with me."

Fred narrowed his eyes, looking over his shoulder to sneak a peek at Ash and Dom talking by one of the windows overlooking the snowy mountains. "Are you angry at me because of that…Date? It's not a date," He said, looking back at me, a weird expression on his face.

"Oh yeah? And what do you call going out with some girl to Hogsmeade with a couple who is definitely on a date? Two third wheels? Because there's no such thing. I thought you liked Ash," I frowned, rubbing my temples in annoyance. I wasn't sure what annoyed me more, Fred going out with some girl that wasn't Ash or Fred going on a double date with James and bloody Trinity. I wasn't even sure why I cared.

Fred got up, holding up his hands and shaking his head, obviously angry because there was none of his usual, easy laughter on his face. "Fine, it's a date. If you're so damn angry about… You know what, I'm done. Be angry and lash out at everybody, see if I care."

I reached out and grabbed his hand before I could even think about it. He was my friend and I didn't want to fuck up another friendship. "I'm sorry," I murmured, loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough that anyone else could.

Fred looked down at me, eyes wide, as if he couldn't quite believe what he heard. He probably couldn't. He sat down next to me, on the armrest this time, and put one arm around my shoulders. We didn't usually hug. Or did awkward one-armed hugs. But I still appreciated it. "It's fine," He started before rolling his eyes and sighing. "Okay, it's not fine, but I get it. I think. We don't have to talk about… Whatever it is you don't want to talk about."

I was about to respond with something snarky, but the sight of Odysseus, my father's eagle owl, landing on the window sill and knocking on the glass with his beak was both shocking and unexpected, enough to make me go silent. Fred watched the owl with a frown as I got up from the armchair and opened the window to let Odysseus in. Unlike Odin, he had always loved Fred the most out of all my friends, so after I untied the letter from his leg, he settled himself on Fred's leg and softly hooted when Fred started stroking his feathers.

Dear Quinn,

I'm sorry that I haven't written earlier but things have been fucked up lately, as I'm sure you're aware. I'm also sure you're bloody angry at me and your mother, but I would still like to talk to you. Meet me tomorrow at the Hog's Head for lunch.

Love, Dad

The desire to burn the letter was strong as I stared at the two sentences my dad managed to write, but I stopped myself before throwing it into the flames. Fred showed an unusual amount of restraint, a whole two minutes before he snatched the letter from my hands and read it, as he often did with my mail. I didn't really care that he read it, there was nothing in it to care about. At least dad had written, which is more than what mum had done. Which was nothing. Except fuck Riz Khan, but that was neither here nor there.

* * *

The next morning, I stayed in bed with my curtains closed long after I woke up. I didn't want to get up and actually go to Hogsmeade so I just lay there, staring at my ceiling, while Ziggy walked all over me, trying to get me to acknowledge his existence. After a while, he gave up and decided to settle on top of my stomach, crossing his paws and settling himself up for a staring contest. Which I lost.

I could hear the chatter in the dorm, everyone except Dom and Ash getting ready for Hogsmeade, as if, after four years of going, there was anything new or exciting to do there. Still, it was basically our only bit of fun except for the occasional party thrown inside the castle, so you couldn't blame people for getting excited about it. I just wasn't one of them, especially not today.

Sometime after the dorm quieted, Dom threw open my curtains with a frown on her face, silver hair tickling me as she leaned over to mock-check if I had died.

"Why are you moping in your bed?" She asked, biting her lip absentmindedly as Ziggy found a new victim who would pet him endlessly, nestling himself in her lap.

"I'm not, I just don't want to get out of bed and go to Hogsmeade. But I have to so… I'm postponing the inevitable."

One perfect eyebrow raised and a sneaky glance at Ash made me sigh very dramatically, almost worthy of Fred's dramatics. "I'm meeting dad for lunch. So that's not going to be fun and I just… I'm sick of it all," I said, my voice barely high enough for the two of them to hear me. They did, though, and Ash sat down on the bed next to Dom, playing with Ziggy's tail. He didn't look like he particularly liked it.

"Maybe he'll explain?" Ash said, her face betraying the scepticism at her own words.

I rolled my eyes as I dragged myself out from under the covers, the old T-shirt I was wearing, one I borrowed from James ages ago, riding up and exposing my bare skin to the chilly air coming from one of the open windows. "I'd definitely love an explanation from my dad about my mum fucking some other guy. That sounds like a lot of fun."

I left Dom and Ash enjoying some homemade cookies that Dom's grandma Weasley sent and doing some personality test in one of the Witch Weekly columns, making my way down the castle and out into the winter day. The sky was overcast, as was usual lately, with a distinct smell of upcoming snow. I hoped it would wait until after our afternoon Quidditch practice because I was not a fan of flying in a snowstorm, and you couldn't put it past James to not postpone practice because of something so trivial.

Making a stop at Gladrags' to buy Lily a T-shirt featuring The Wicked Wands, her favourite band, bought me a little more time before I had to walk over to Hog's Head. The dingy pub was surprisingly warm inside, though luckily, there weren't a lot of people there. I spotted dad immediately, and despite the anger I still felt, I also had this urge to hug him. But I didn't. Instead, I sat across from him in silence. He avoided my gaze.

After a couple of silent minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I tapped my fingers on the wooden table and nodded to the barman, a new hire by the looks of him. "So? You wanted to meet me and talk," I said while the barman walked over to us. Dad ordered steak for both of us, like he usually did, and a beer for himself. For once, I was good with water.

"We're getting a divorce," Dad said, as if that part wasn't quite obvious. "But you have to know, Quinn, we both love you, no matter what happens with us."

Hearing those words woke up something I buried somewhere inside me, the rage I felt when I first read grandad's letter, when I saw all those newspaper articles, when I was drowning in anger and sadness and there was no one to help me. "You love me?" I said, my voice low, barely above a whisper, which my dad knew was much worse than had I started yelling at him. "You fucking love me? I don't fucking know what that means, dad," I spat out, my hands clenched into fists. "Does it mean exchanging letters with Ravi Patel? Does it mean being too busy to spend my birthday with me? One whole bloody day? Does it mean letting me go off to school for one last time, alone? Does it mean… You know what? Fuck off."

I stood up just as the barman brought over the food, his face that of pure confusion. Dad's mouth was open, as if he wanted to say something and I wanted him to. But, while I stared at him in fury, his expression became blank and he stayed silent. I turned away from him, grabbing my bag and cloak, and walked out of the pub, my footsteps heavy with rage.

By the time I walked back to the castle, I only had half an hour to grab something to eat from the kitchens before I had to go to the Pitch for practice. The house-elves were smart enough to leave me be while I ate, warily looking at the way I was poking at the roast chicken and muttering amongst themselves.

I ran up the numerous stairs towards my dorm to get my gear, and then ran back down, all the while thinking it might not be a great idea to let me have a go with the Bludgers while I was so fucking angry, but then again, it might be worse to not let me. I had to have some sort of an outlet for all these emotions that so suddenly boiled over that they were overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, that I somehow hadn't noticed James walking in front of me until I crashed into him, toppling us both down the small hill towards Hagrid's hut.

We rolled over two times before we stopped and I somehow ended up underneath him, James straddling me. He was slightly out of breath, his dark hair messily falling into his bright eyes as he looked down at me. The last time we'd been that close was when we shagged, and just thinking about that made my heart skip a beat. What was even worse, when our eyes locked, he bloody smirked. Which was unfortunate because I was so wound up from everything that I had the inexplicable urge to grab him by the hair and kiss him.

Of course, that would've been an act of a madwoman, which, I was now convinced, was what I was quickly becoming, so instead, I kicked him off to the side and yelled something that even I had trouble understanding. It was something that vaguely sounded like a word but was actually a very loud groan.

"Get off me, you –"

James started laughing. "Get off you? You were the one who tackled me!" He was still laying in the frozen grass next to me and he was much too close for comfort. But I didn't move away.

"I didn't tackle you, I was just… Never mind," I said as I got up, gathering my gear and avoiding looking at James. His shirt rode up and it was all highly distracting. I started walking away, leaving him in the grass, but it wasn't long before he caught up, falling into step with me.

"What's up?" He asked, putting his broom over his shoulder and looking down at me, seemingly oblivious to the tension between us. There were bloody dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. Fuck that.

"Nothing," I said and shrugged, still looking straight ahead and trying hard to ignore him. We were silent the rest of the way but before we entered the locker rooms, James stepped in front of me, blocking my way. He leaned down, looking me in the eyes with a worried expression and I was too dumbstruck to move away.

"Can you just stop and talk to me?" James asked. "I know something is wrong, Quinn."

Of course he knew. If anyone could tell that I wasn't myself, it would be James. But right now, I really didn't want to talk. Not to him, not to anyone. I wanted to do something that would get my mind off everything that was wrong.

"Er… No. I just want to play Quidditch. There's nothing to talk about."

James rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose like he always did when he was annoyed. "Fine, do whatever the fuck you want. I don't know why I even bother." He turned away from me and marched into the locker rooms, letting the door slam shut after him while I just stood there like a fucking idiot.

After that, practice was pure torture. I alternated from being pissed off at everyone, especially James, and staring at his ass or the skin that showed whenever his T-shirt rode up, and despite the fact that he basically told me to go fuck myself, I somehow couldn't stop my mind from wandering to inappropriate places. As always, I was very good at distracting myself from the real issues with turning to the things that made me feel good. Like Quidditch. Or sex.

So after showering and waiting for ages to be left alone because Fred takes ridiculously long showers, I finally emerged from the locker rooms to a cold evening, my eyes watering from the cold and my cheeks starting to quickly feel numb. All of the stars were obscured by thick clouds. Even the moon was hidden behind them. I suspected that a snowstorm was coming by the way the clouds looked, but then again, I certainly wasn't an expert.

As I trudged towards the castle, I pondered this sudden attraction I've been feeling towards James that somehow became unburied since we shagged. I tried very hard to not let him get to me, but I was weak when it came to James, no matter how much I claimed to be immune to whatever charm he possessed. And, obviously, I fucking missed him. I missed my friend. So my fucked-up brain decided it would be a good idea to mess with me in a way that was dangerous to our already pretty fucked friendship. Which, again, was my damn fault because I couldn't keep it in my pants.

I was so busy thinking that I didn't even notice when I reached the castle, but the smells of dinner quickly roused me and I made my way to the Great Hall, dragging my gear behind me. I scanned the tables and James caught my eye. He was laughing wildly at something Fred said and I felt so out of place, standing there, staring at him, not laughing next to him. It was a strange feeling. I had gotten so used to James being there, at us being together, that these last couple of weeks it took me a very long time to realise how much lonelier I was without him and how much it affected me. Which was both pissing me off and making me sad.

I walked over to the Slytherin table before James could notice me staring at him and sat down next to Jax, who was giving Scorpius advice on girls, specifically Lily.

"Potter doesn't care about the gift, she can have whatever she wants and doesn't need you to buy it for her, so stop worrying about it. Just bang her brains out and you're golden," Jax said before turning his head towards me and giving me a wolfish grin. He was so bloody fit that it was sometimes hard to think of anything else besides the feel of his skin against mine, the way he tangled his fingers in my hair and made me see stars, but today, I knew that I was just looking for a damn distraction. And I was tempted to just ditch dinner and drag him away to a broom closet before Lily's party, to get my mind off James, but my stomach rumbled loudly which made both of us laugh hard. I grabbed some of his steak and ate it, all the while Jax stared at me hungrily and I couldn't shake off feeling incredibly turned on. If I didn't know myself, or him, I would've thought he was using the Veela charm on me, but that wasn't it. This was just me being fucked up.

"Are you coming to this party?" I asked between bites, while Jax lounged, seemingly done with dinner and just staying there to keep me company. I had a feeling he sensed that something was a little off with me, but he didn't comment on it.

He smiled a lazy smile and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. "Are you inviting me?"

"I might be. I don't even know why I'm invited, so what's one more person there that doesn't belong?"

Jax started playing with a knife, turning it over in his dexterous fingers, observing me. "You want me to come?" He asked, his tone sounding a lot more serious than moments before.

I could've answered with an innuendo, after all, he did give me a perfect opening, but I decided I wanted to tell the truth.

"Yeah, I do."

* * *

I pestered Dom into wrapping Lily's gift for me earlier, so I only had to put on some makeup to make myself look less like a vampire and more like an actual human being. In exchange for wrapping Lily's gift, Dom made me wear a fucking dress to the party, one I've seen on and taken off her, countless times. It was silver, backless, very short, and just the thing I didn't usually wear. But, since I didn't feel quite like myself today, it seemed appropriate. And I couldn't be bothered with trying to change her mind.

When Dom, Ash and I descended the stairs, I was met with the sight of a pouty Trinity and an annoyed James.

"Why can't I go?" Trinity asked, frowning up at James, who just caught sight of us. He looked slightly dazed for a moment, but Trinity brought him back to reality when she took hold of his hand.

"I told you already, it's Lily's party, she invited the people she wanted there. There's not much I can do about it," He said, shrugging.

I found myself checking him out and I immediately wanted someone to slap some sense into me. Instead, I grabbed Dom and practically dragged her out of the Common Room, Ash following us with an amused look on her face, leaving James and Trinity alone.

"Why are you suddenly in such a rush to get to the party? I didn't think you even wanted to go," Dom said, and Ash raised an eyebrow suspiciously at me. I avoided looking at either of them and stayed silent.

"Oh, I know why!" Dom suddenly exclaimed, a twinkle in her eye as she winked at Ash. "I saw you at dinner. You told Jax to come, didn't you?"

"Lily didn't invite him, though," Ashley started, but I rolled my eyes.

"It's a party, it's not like she'll notice who's there. And anyways, Jax advised Scorpius to bang her brains out so I suspect little Potter will be quite… Busy tonight," I said with a smirk, making them laugh.

Jax was waiting at the entrance to the Room of Requirement, looking fit as fuck, all in black, his leather jacket carelessly thrown over one shoulder, even though he probably won't need it. Dom and Ash broke out in fits of giggles when they noticed him, which I considered to be amusing, up until they started implying we were dating. At that point, I took Jax's hand and left the two of them to their giggling ways.

"Ashley seems better," He said softly, and I was once again struck by the fact that Jax always ended up being much more observant than what people gave him credit for.

"She is, I think. She doesn't want to talk about it and I'd be a bitch if I tried to make her when all I do is avoid talking about things. So Dom and I distract her. Sort of. Mostly Dom, though. She's a better friend than I am."

What I said made Jax stop in his tracks and turn towards me, looking me in the eyes and I felt like he could somehow see inside me. "What's wrong with you?" He asked after a couple of moments, then dragged me towards a secluded corner to sit on one of the red sofas. "You're not usually so self-deprecating," Jax commented.

I leaned against the backrest, my dress riding up my thighs, causing Jax's eyes to immediately look down with a mischievous grin and his fingers to inch closer to my legs than they were just moments before. I liked having an effect on him.

"I saw my dad today," I blurted out, thinking I had ruined the moment, though it didn't feel ruined, because Jax didn't move his hand away. Instead, he smirked at me wickedly as he leaned down, kissing my neck softly, grazing the sensitive skin with his lips and going lower, along my collarbone, making me stop breathing for a moment.

"Do you want me to fuck the sad out of you?" Jax said and we both started laughing like maniacs at the line. It was the first time I laughed since I got that letter from dad.

"You're such an idiot sometimes," I said, still smiling at him.

"Eh," He shrugged nonchalantly and leaned back, putting one hand on the back of the sofa and using it to support himself while he looked at me. "You laughed, didn't you? And you'd still like to fuck me, so I count that a success."

While we were talking, the room filled up, the music started to become much louder, and Lily was lost somewhere in the crowd. I haven't given her my gift yet and then I realised I left it with Dom, who was currently nowhere to be seen. I doubted Lily cared for my gift so I wasn't too bothered. A tall mess of dark hair caught my eye. It was James, dancing with Fred and some girls in the middle of the room, a bottle of what looked like Firewhisky in his hand. I had a feeling he'd been watching us by the way he very pointedly did not look in my direction.

"Want to dance?" Jax asked me after somehow procuring two bottles of Serpentgin for us. "I've also got something extra, if you want it." He took out two vials from one of his pockets. They were bright blue and I hadn't seen them before.

I took one of them and lifted it up so I could see better. "What is it?"

He smirked and gulped his vial down before answering. "Some liquid happiness. I made it only recently so it doesn't have a proper name yet. It's just something to make you feel a little less… Sad."

Jax kissed me then, the taste of the blue potion sweet and spicy mixing with the taste of Jax and his vanilla cigarettes, my tongue tingling from the sensation the potion made me feel, fingers tangling in Jax's hair and pulling him closer.

"I definitely want it," I said when I moved away from him. I mixed the potion with my Serpentgin and gulped it down, enjoying the small but noticeable feeling of happiness that erupted somewhere inside me. I smiled and let Jax take my hand, leading me towards the middle of the room where everyone was dancing.

I lost myself then, in the music and Jax and the sweet embrace of numbness that alcohol always brought me. Jax's hands all over me, his body grinding against me, it all felt so incredibly good and I wanted more of that feeling. None of the fucking drama and sadness that seemed to invade my life lately.

And all that time, I could feel James watching me, dancing nearby but never close enough, just out of my reach, those hazel eyes that could always see right through me, that did things to me I never thought anyone could, and yet, he was so fucking mad at me that he didn't even try to talk to me all night.

Sometime in the middle of the night, long after Lily disappeared with Scorpius, after Ash snuggled up to Fred on one of the cosy armchairs, after Dom disappeared Merlin knows where, Jax and I crashed on one of the sofas, breathing heavily from all the dancing.

Jax leaned back, lighting up a cigarette, the smoke rising above him, twirling in the semi-darkness, the neon lights colouring it in red and blue. It was fascinating to look at and Jax noticed me staring, smirking down at me and I took a drag from the cigarette before lounging back.

He closed his eyes for a moment and I looked around, immediately being drawn to someone sitting on the floor in the opposite end of the room, legs drawn up, a bottle lying next to him, his back to the wall. It was James and he was staring at me, the look on his face unreadable.

I got up slowly, watching him watching me, his eyes roaming all over my body, and I walked towards him, hips swaying slightly. It felt as if he was magnetic somehow, pulling me to him just by looking at me. I stood before him and he looked up, following the path my legs made, up, towards my tits and finally, stopping at my face. He motioned for me to sit and I settled next to him, crossing my legs in silence.

James took one of my hands and intertwined our fingers, turning his head slightly to look in my eyes.

"I miss you," I murmured, the music mellow enough so he could hear me, "I miss my best friend."

James furrowed his brows, not smiling like I thought he would, and he let go of my hand, suddenly cold.

"I don't want to be your friend, Quinn."


End file.
